Intergalactic Summit

News reaches Gutter Press that the Gallente Navy thwarted a plan by a capsuleer to vandalise a moon!

The act of cosmic vandalism, was intended to carve a diagram of a male organ onto the surface of a moon, facing the planet which the capsuleer's ex-spouse lived on!

Relations between the two had soured, eventually ending in divorce, after alleged infidelity, involving a different capsuleer with genetic sculpting to be a lookalike!

The vandalism plan involved thousands of moon-mining arrays, which the Gallente Navy intercepted, as the capsuleer was in the process of attempting to deploy them, in defiance of CONCORD legislation involving moon mining!

The moon remains in a pristine state, untouched by human hands or mining equipment.

A University of Caille social studies professor said, in response to this and other incidents, that there was a downwards trend in the number of capsuleers involved in divorce proceedings, with a 33% decline in the number of capsuleers alleged to have been an adulterous third party.

It is speculated that the ongoing militia wars have reduced the appeal of capsuleers as potential partners in illicit affairs, due to the unpopularity of the wars with many sectors of civil society.

It is not yet known if planetary mercenaries will similarly find their fame and celebrity status leads to becoming involved in illicit affairs with adoring fans.

Gutter Press, bringing you the news you never thought you'd hear.

Oh come now, dear, that only means we'll have to make do having illicit affairs with each other. There are plenty of marginally unstable capsuleers looking for that last straw in a relationship to really drop off the edge of reality.

It's a bit like roulette.

I got this strange image of that somehow ending up with me collared, tied down, draped in scented oils, and bathing in the fine glow of candlelight as echo of choirs resound through distant halls ... wherever this must be.

But you know I bite, and there is a black glow of raw feral hatred in my gaze. Even the smell of you provokes a carnal fire within my movements. Yet feral purrs or snarls are also not likely enticing to your ears... I'm sure it won't be long before I'm gagged.

My, the thought is actually quite enticing... Something about that collar almost provokes blissful dreams of being put in my place, by anyone or anything subject to my master's (or mistress's) wishes.

And then I remember that collar had a Vitoc injector embedded in it...



There goes all the blissful moments to rot swirling within the black ichor of your ultimate control card.

A real shame really... I think slavery wouldn't be so bad without it.

@Constantin

Nice touch.

See you in space, Bishop. Or who knows where else. ;3

Ah, the capsuleers, into death and sex in a night-time holo sort of way.

...

I'll admit, I wish I looked nearly as smashing as that comedian in sequins.

One simply cannot hit "Like" enough...

Next week's Gutter Press headline: Sex Scandals on multiple warfronts, Federation collapse imminent!

Next thing we know someone decides to make a prank by mining the sun until its nuclear fusion fuel runs out.

This certainly deteriorated quickly.

As if our ship design wasn't phallic enough on its own....