Intergalactic Summit

This is a recording of a product launch keynote, delivered from Dodixie Federal Navy Assembly Plant on 09/14/115YC, 2208 EVEST.

The camera feed is showing a wide, empty presentation stage. The holoscreens behind the stage are displaying static. Someone in the audience coughs loudly.

Suddenly, the stage lights up. The lightning-eye logo of Reclamation Technologies appears on the screens, rotating slowly around their vertical axis. Etienne Saissore emerges from the shadows and walks to the center of the stage, in the middle of the spotlights.

"Good evening everyone. It is my pleasure to be here today to tell you about the new, exciting products our company is developing."

Cheering and applauds.

"But before I do tell you about our products, let me take a brief glance on the past, alright? What does our company actually stand for?"

Rhetorical pause.

"Reclamation means turning scrap into resources, extracting substance from waste and bringing forgotten or overlooked reservoirs to daylight."

Audience claps their hands, some are showing thumbs up.

"So, why are we here today?" Etienne makes a wide smile. "We are here because we are about to witness something amazing!"

Wild cheering, applauds, paper streamers.

"We have worked very hard to come up with something that could play an important role in your everyday life. Our designers have worked day and night to take our understanding of your needs to the next level. I'd like to mention that our main developer's role in this process has been invaluable."

Image of a middle-aged intaki appears on the holoscreens, rotating slowly. Once enough time has passed for some nods of approval, the image fades away, and is again replaced with RECLT's logo.

"And you know what? I think we got it right. Dear Mademouselles and Messeurs, let me introduce you something you have been waiting for ... our new flagship product ... "

An image of a ruminant appears on the holoscreen, radiating with ethereal light.

"Let me introduce you Le Boeuf!"

Roaring applauds follow, feet are stomped on the ground, some people stand up.

"Yes, it is true, folks. Reclamation Technologies is now involved in the biotech industry, creating high quality livestock solutions designed to meet and beat the challenges of the Empyrean era!"

Green and white confetti is raining down on the stage like snow, there's wild partying in the audience while the background music grows stronger and the camera feed fades away, little by little.

Wait, you mean you've learned to grow food in vats?

A-mazing!

Why in the name of the Maker would you expend the resources to grow the bits of the cow that you don't eat?

Besides the studio audience, I would also like to thank the pilots present in Dodixie local for making the event as entertaining as it was.

A cow? You are growing a living, thinking, intelligent being, nurturing it from a fetus to adulthood... and then you are killing it, dissecting it and eating it? When you have the option of growing the nutritional components independent of its brain?

I don't think I even want to ask why. I don't think that a generous, or sane, answer even exists.

Edit: I have of course jumped to conclusions, I apologise. Cows make milk. They are contributing by making milk. I'm sure that's it. Again, my apologies for the spurious accusation.

Take a moment to consider what you know about human nature; and the answer will stare you in the face, really.

There is no need to apologize, you are presenting a valid question which is undoubtedly interesting for a many viewers.

Our company invests in the safety and wellness of the livestock in our care. To make sure that our products provide the highest quality experience possible, it is most practical to let the bodily functions of the living organism to be controlled by a brain - a practice which is also common in the medical cloning business.

We are nurturing the animals with feedstuffs until they reach a certain weight, and then sell them either directly to the consumers, or to the representatives of the further processing sector. As you say, an outstanding example of this sector is the dairy industry.

Oh come on, this is the oldest dance in the cluster. You can keep your vat farmed protein, I want food with character. if I have to lamp a cow over the head with a rock a few times to enjoy the real thing then - dammit - I will.

I'll stop eating animals when they stop tasting so good. Thank you Etienne, for doing your part to make sure we won't run out.

Oh. Oh, that's terrible. Please tell me you didn't mean that, Hanaya-kirjuun.

Fred, I'd suggest making sure your milk isn't coming from a 'Boeuf' ... might taste a bit salty.

now a 'Vache' on the other hand. Much better.