Out of Pod Experience

My neighbour is the local friendly drug-dealer.

The racket that occasionally ensues is offset by the fact that I never get burgled. Almost all of the houses on my street apart from mine, his and his other neighbour, have been burgled within the last 6 months.

I like my noisy next door neighbour. Long may he continue being up at all hours of the day/night.

Oh and hi - welcome to the forums - have a like

I live next door to a gobby chav who has three enormous dogs. They howl at everything, all the time.

I feel your pain

Damn foreigners, I have the same problem in my complex

That's a terrible thought and completely irresponsible.

Have you seen the price of petrol here in Britain?

I would in no way waste such a valuable commodity as petrol... paraffin probably ...but not petrol

Coming for some helpful tips on neighborhood warfare?
You came to the right place.
OK, first of all it is important that you take yourself enough time- there are several incredibly important steps, some of them may be skipped, but you should try to slowly escalate things over several months.

For starters, have them sent some stuff. If you look on webpages like http://www.totallyfreestuff.com/, you will easily find lots of funny stuff for your neighbours- from Russian p0rn magazines to subscriptions for some crazy neofascist ufology cults- the internet is full of sick stuff, and your neighbours need them.

The next step involves unfortunately searching their garbage. You will want to look for any kind of bills that show their bank account numbers. For most banks this is all you need, and you can use this to block their credit cards by reporting it stolen via an anonymous hotline. Do this at least once per week for great justice and lulz.

For the next step you will need a big syringe filled with minced meat. Somehow you need to gain access to their apartment- should this be too difficult, have a friend dress up like a plumber or electrician and do this. The minced meat must be injected deep into the mattress. For the next days, nothing special will happen, but as the meat slowly starts to decompose, more and more maggots will begin to crawl out of the mattress.

The next and final step does not work in all countries, you will have to educate yourself in standard bureaucratic procedures for home moving in your region. In many countries, a phone call is enough to cancel electricity, gas and water. Just claim to be your neighbor and tell them you are moving houses. Look up the internet for persons with the very same last name that live quite a bit away. Use this address and tell the local post office that you (still pretending to be your neighbor) will be moving there and all mail should be sent to this new address.

From here on I will leave it to your own sick imagination to escalate things further.

Be noisy when they sleep during regular operating hours.

EDIT: For best effect do it during the weekend.

Maybe i should add the only this first point has some chance to work in real life- everything after that was just comedy and will almost certainly get you sued for fraud or vandalism.

EEK

Ignore my previous submission!

Nonononono don't stop now. You've always wanted to learn the trumpet didn't you?!