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Rubbish Jokes
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Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
#141 - 2013-09-23 22:12:16 UTC
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"

Cynter's Law of feature suggestion: Thou shalt not suggest NPCs do something players could do instead.
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#142 - 2013-09-23 22:15:15 UTC
I shared twenty puns to my friends, hoping that some would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Kitty Bear
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#143 - 2013-09-23 23:41:34 UTC
a baby seal walks into a club
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#144 - 2013-09-24 08:39:04 UTC
"Hey butcher! I bet you 100 euros you can't reach the meat on the upper shelf!". "No buddy, not going to take that, the steaks are too high"

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Mudkest
Contagious Goat Labs
#145 - 2013-09-24 11:25:57 UTC
An englishman, scotsman and irishman stand on top of a 30 story burning building, unable to reach any staircase or elevator. The englishman spots an umbrella, says he's not gonna die getting burned so he grabs an umbrella, opens it and jumps of the building and floats gently to the ground. The scotsman, seeing that does the same. When theye are both safly on the ground the scotsman turns to the englishman and sais he wonders when the irish bloke is comming when the irishman smacks into the ground next to them. WHen he coems by in the hospital the englishman and scotsman are there, asking him what happened.

he replies there were no more umbrellas left so he put on a raincoat instead
NightCrawler 85
Phoibe Enterprises
#146 - 2013-09-24 20:33:06 UTC
Samoth Egnoled wrote:
I would post this here, but its far too long so i will link the site its on. its a great read.

Better Nate than Lever


Very long but definitely worth reading Smile

Phoibe Enterprises

The Eve Reader -  Audio Recordings of Eve Chronicles
Graygor
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#147 - 2013-09-25 04:31:35 UTC
Why is there never a welshman in these stories. Sad

"I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." - Kenneth O'Hara

"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate
Pepper Swift
Perkone
Caldari State
#148 - 2013-09-25 04:41:02 UTC
look in the mirror

What I need most.. is a day between Saturday and Sunday...

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic
Graygor
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#149 - 2013-09-25 04:59:08 UTC
Har har har.

"I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." - Kenneth O'Hara

"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate
Camper101
State War Academy
Caldari State
#150 - 2013-09-25 07:30:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Camper101
Canadian Knock-knock joke:

1: "Knock Knock!"

2: "Who's there?"

1: "Sorry"

2: "No, I am sorry."

1: "No, I am sorry!"

2013.03.01 13:30:58 notify For participating in the General Discussion Forum Section your trustworthiness has been adjusted by -2.5000.

My name is Hans. The "L" stands for danger.
Mudkest
Contagious Goat Labs
#151 - 2013-09-25 10:11:11 UTC
Graygor wrote:
Why is there never a welshman in these stories. Sad



What's the difference between a welshman and an englishmen?
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
#152 - 2013-09-26 01:03:24 UTC
Mudkest wrote:
Graygor wrote:
Why is there never a welshman in these stories. Sad



What's the difference between a welshman and an englishmen?

Sheep instead of girlfriends? Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9uMJovuA_Y

Cynter's Law of feature suggestion: Thou shalt not suggest NPCs do something players could do instead.
Mudkest
Contagious Goat Labs
#153 - 2013-09-26 19:48:25 UTC
Cynter DeVries wrote:
Mudkest wrote:
Graygor wrote:
Why is there never a welshman in these stories. Sad



What's the difference between a welshman and an englishmen?

Sheep instead of girlfriends? Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9uMJovuA_Y


so welsh have better taste in woman. otherwise theres no difference between the 2
Jade III
Sebiestor Tribe
#154 - 2013-09-26 19:54:53 UTC
I don't like Choirs, its not my "Forte". :P

My adventure blog: http://lonewolfadventures.wordpress.com/
Mudkest
Contagious Goat Labs
#155 - 2013-10-01 09:26:14 UTC
A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn on the St Andrews course.

A groundskeeper shouts: "Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo o' coo's shite an pish!"

The golfer replies: "My Good fellow, I'm from England . Could you repeat that for me, in English!?"

The keeper replies: "I said, use two hands - you'll spill less that way!"
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#156 - 2013-10-01 17:01:57 UTC
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
Rhatar Khurin
Doomheim
#157 - 2013-10-02 18:54:26 UTC  |  Edited by: Rhatar Khurin
It's the second world war, an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are fleeing from pursuing Germans and see a barn to hide in.
They look around and see some large sacks, so they all hide in them.

The Germans enter the barn and begin searching the place and notice the sacks.

A German prods the sack with the Englishman in it and he goes "OINK OINK!"
The german says "Ah must be a pig inside" and moves onto the next sack.

He prods the sack with the Scotsman in it and he goes "BAAAH BAAAH!"
The German says "Ah must be a sheep inside" and moves onto the last sack.

He prods the sack with the Irishman in it and he goes "POTATOES POTATOS!"

............ :P
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#158 - 2013-10-02 20:24:17 UTC
A man who farts in church must sit in his own pew.
Rhatar Khurin
Doomheim
#159 - 2013-10-02 21:38:52 UTC
A scotsman walks into a pub and orders a glass of water...


:P
Nashuar Attor
Rat Kings Crew
#160 - 2013-10-03 06:32:47 UTC
What's the difference between an elephant and a biscuit?




You can't dunk an elephant in a cup of tea.

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.