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Out of Pod Experience

 
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Rubbish Jokes
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Micheal Dietrich
Kings Gambit Black
#121 - 2013-08-06 23:59:21 UTC
I was at a restaurant the other night and I decided to order Chicken Fried Steak. I asked the waiter who taught the chicken how to fry steak and he said 'I don't know, but he makes it from scratch.'

Out of Pod is getting In the Pod - Join in game channel **IG OOPE **
Pepper Swift
Perkone
Caldari State
#122 - 2013-08-07 00:17:50 UTC
Roses are bacon
Violets are bacon
Bacon

What I need most.. is a day between Saturday and Sunday...

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#123 - 2013-08-07 06:44:58 UTC
"What's wrong with me, doc?" "You should stop wanking" "Why?" "Because I'm ausculting you, you SOB!"

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Faenir Antollare
For Ever And Ever
#124 - 2013-08-07 16:40:09 UTC  |  Edited by: Faenir Antollare
On my Birthday my Mother gave me a De-humidifier whilst my Father gave me a Humidifier


I put them in in the same room and then just left them to slug it out amongst themselves..








edit-even worse spelling..

RiP BooBoo 26/7/1971 - 23/7/2014 My Lady My Love My Life My Wife
ctx2007
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#125 - 2013-08-07 20:14:14 UTC  |  Edited by: ctx2007
Whats green and smells of bacon? ........ Kermit's finger Shocked




Thor the god of war takes a young maiden and for the next 40 days and nights,
he makes hot passionate love to her.

Then he stands a stride her and shouts "I'm Thor, I'm Thor!!"

She replies " You're Thor!!, I'm so f**king Thor, I can't P*ss"



Thor riding his mighty warhorse into battle stands up in his saddle and shouts " I'm mighty Thor!!!"

His horse says "Thilly Thod you should have put a thaddle on"

You only realise you life has been a waste of time, when you wake up dead.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#126 - 2013-08-07 21:37:15 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Q: Would you rather have a broken leg or five holes in your head?
A: Five holes in your head is better. You already have those.

Lawyer ethics question:
Your client is settling up her bill with your firm. She owes $500, and pays cash. After she leaves, you notice that she gave you six $100 bills, not five. Ethics question: Do you tell your partner?
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#127 - 2013-08-11 20:09:21 UTC  |  Edited by: Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
Two friends meet and one says: "Dude, yesterday happened something horrible! I downloaded Dark Knight Rises and it turned to be gay p*rn, and it was the worst 75 minutes of my life!"

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Rana Ash
Gradient
Electus Matari
#128 - 2013-09-14 19:16:00 UTC
The past and the future walked into a bar




It was tense
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#129 - 2013-09-14 19:45:51 UTC
A panda walks into a bar and ask a burguer. It eats it and then draws a gun and shoots everyone but the bartender and leaves the bar. The bartender asks, "Why did you do that?" The panda pulls a dictionary and shows it to the bartender: "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Mudkest
Contagious Goat Labs
#130 - 2013-09-15 09:34:54 UTC  |  Edited by: Mudkest
https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=277600&find=unread
the post itself may not belong here, but some of the responses do!


Jayem See wrote:


What's green and goes round and round and round and round?

Frog in a blender.


nonononononono thats all wrong

it goes
its green and when you press the button it turns red

frog in a blender

edit: seems like that one got posted allready.
Mudkest
Contagious Goat Labs
#131 - 2013-09-17 13:07:35 UTC
a general walks into Kim Jong-un's office and sais:"It is done glorious leader, the missiles are launched at china"
to wich kim replies:"That's great, but when I told you to nuke the chinese, what I meant was put the leftovers in the microwave"
Rana Ash
Gradient
Electus Matari
#132 - 2013-09-18 12:11:57 UTC
Prepare: Blossom on a fruit tree

Counterfeiter: Kitchen installation specialist

Impeccable: Chicken proof

Retail price: The cost to repair the back of the plane

Spin doctor: Physician who specializes in vertigo
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
#133 - 2013-09-23 04:58:53 UTC
What does a bee say when it flies backward? "Zubb zubb..."

*ducks

Cynter's Law of feature suggestion: Thou shalt not suggest NPCs do something players could do instead.
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#134 - 2013-09-23 06:55:08 UTC  |  Edited by: Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
Cynter DeVries wrote:
What does a bee say when it flies backward? "Zubb zubb..."

*ducks


That one made me want to bang my forehead with the keyboard. So here I dedicate this one to you:

Cynter DeVries and another blonde walk into a building...

...you'd think that at least one of them should have seen it coming.

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
#135 - 2013-09-23 17:13:23 UTC
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog it's too dark to read."-Groucho Marx.

Cynter's Law of feature suggestion: Thou shalt not suggest NPCs do something players could do instead.
Rain6638
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#136 - 2013-09-23 19:41:02 UTC  |  Edited by: Rain6638
as a fan of Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray... I don't put too much emphasis on punchlines, and as a result I can't think of any jokes at the moment. I find comedy everywhere I ******* look

^like Cynter DeVries' boobs. and corp name. that is meant to be funny. stop and appreciate it

functional humor. doesn't leave an aftertaste like a mechanical joke and punchline.

...okay, fine. "your abs"

[ 2013.06.21 09:52:05 ] (notify) For initiating combat your security status has been adjusted by -0.1337
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
#137 - 2013-09-23 21:17:10 UTC
Did you hear about the Zen master who said to the hot dog vendor, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor hands him one with everything. The Zen master hands him a $20 bill and the hot dog vendor pockets it.

"What about my change?" asked the Zen master.

The hot dog vendor says, "Change comes only from within."

Cynter's Law of feature suggestion: Thou shalt not suggest NPCs do something players could do instead.
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
#138 - 2013-09-23 21:29:40 UTC
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The answer is, "That's not funny."

Cynter's Law of feature suggestion: Thou shalt not suggest NPCs do something players could do instead.
Mudkest
Contagious Goat Labs
#139 - 2013-09-23 21:47:04 UTC
Cynter DeVries wrote:
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The answer is, "That's not funny."


guess it'll remain a man's job
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#140 - 2013-09-23 22:11:48 UTC
An invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at.

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you