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Rubbish Jokes
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Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#1 - 2013-07-05 19:55:38 UTC
I am a big fan of terrible jokes.

I love something that is so cringe-worthy it makes me laugh, in spite of myself.

I'll start off with one that has tickled me since I was about 8 years old.

Q What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A No idea (no eyed-deer keep up)

Q What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A Still no idea

And as a bonus "I" related crapfest:

Q What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A A fsh

Post away - the more cringe-worthy, the more I will enjoy it!

Aaaaaaand relax.
Adunh Slavy
#2 - 2013-07-05 20:11:31 UTC


Q: What did the Chinese chicken say to the German cow?
A: I have no idea, I don't speak Chinese.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from you.

A blind guy walks into a bar, ow.

A beer walks into a bar and gets drunk.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop (Actually like that one)

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.  - William Pitt
Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#3 - 2013-07-05 20:18:11 UTC
Adunh Slavy wrote:


A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop (Actually like that one)


Read 3 times - finally got it =)

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug.

Aaaaaaand relax.
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#4 - 2013-07-05 20:20:33 UTC
Sorry, I do know some of those, but they're in Spanish.

Probably my favorite one in its utter derangedness is this one:

¿Qué animal tiene un nombre con 4 úes?

El cucudrulu.

¿Y con 5 úes?

Uncucudrulu.

¿Y con 6 úes?

Utrucucudrulu.

¿Y con 7 úes?

Utrucucudrulumus.

Cucudrulu = cocodrilo = crocodile. Then it gets much worse, up to the 7th "u".



Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#5 - 2013-07-05 20:24:09 UTC
I tried a translate on that and the results made me laugh plenty!

Aaaaaaand relax.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#6 - 2013-07-05 20:47:45 UTC
A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

There was a guy with a wooden eye and a girl with buck teeth. Neither one could ever get a date. One day the guy asked the girl, "Would you like to go on a date?" She said "Would I!" He answered, "Buck teeth buck teeth!"

Guy went to a psychiatrist's office. "Doctor, I think I'm losing my mind. I keep having Freudian slips."
Doctor: "Can you give me an example?"
Guy: "Well, the other night I meant to say to my mother-in-law, 'Would you pass the butter?' But instead I said, 'You ruined my life, you stupid cow!'

There's been a bomb threat at the alphabet soup factor. Police say if it goes off, it could spell disaster.
Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#7 - 2013-07-05 20:58:02 UTC  |  Edited by: Jayem See
Khergit Deserters wrote:


There was a guy with a wooden eye and a girl with buck teeth. Neither one could ever get a date. One day the guy asked the girl, "Would you like to go on a date?" She said "Would I!" He answered, "Buck teeth buck teeth!"


I did giggle - particularly at this one! Perfection.

Am going to preface this one with a "hope I don't get banned" and "It's just a joke chill out."

What do you call a Muslim with a pig on his head?
Hamed

What do you call a Muslim with two pigs on his head?
Mo'hamed.

Opens the door for Hambush....

Aaaaaaand relax.
Kirjava
Lothian Enterprises
#8 - 2013-07-05 21:10:57 UTC
A Scotsman, an Irishman and a Welshman walk into a pub.

Whats this a bloody joke? Says the Landlord.

[center]Haruhiists - Overloading Out of Pod discussions since 2007. /人◕‿‿◕人\ Unban Saede![/center]
Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#9 - 2013-07-05 21:18:19 UTC
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff

What goes red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black-red-black.
Sun-burned penguin rolling down a hill.

Aaaaaaand relax.
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#10 - 2013-07-05 22:47:49 UTC
Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

One muffin looks at the other and says "is it hot in here?"

The other muffin looks at him with surprise "HOLY ****!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"

*************************************

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One looks at the other and asks "Does this taste funny to you?"

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#11 - 2013-07-05 22:56:44 UTC
What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

Aaaaaaand relax.
Indahmawar Fazmarai
#12 - 2013-07-06 07:16:54 UTC
Can't believe Ish shied up to share her (in)famous bang-bang jokes.

Hey gringo, what is your name?
My name is Joe.
Bang-bang!
It WAS Joe, gringo, it WAS...

Hey gringo, how much you weight?
150 pounds.
Bang-bang!
And two ounces, gringo...

Hey gringo, do you bang-bang?
Bang-bang?
Bang-bang!
Bang-bang, gringo...

Well, on second thought... maybe she was right... Oops
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#13 - 2013-07-06 11:21:13 UTC
what do you call a bloke with no arms or legs in the sea...BOB
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#14 - 2013-07-06 12:28:12 UTC
what do u call a girl standing between two tall posts.....ANNETTE
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#15 - 2013-07-06 14:34:05 UTC  |  Edited by: Surfin's PlunderBunny
Enter Bad Joke Eel! Bear

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#16 - 2013-07-06 16:44:59 UTC
whats black and white and read all over ...................... a newspaper......owww gawd this is really getting bloody bad
Stegas Tyrano
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#17 - 2013-07-06 18:46:37 UTC
Why did the boy fall off his bike?

Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Herping your derp since 19Potato - [url=https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=2403364][Proposal] - Ingame Visual Adverts[/url]
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#18 - 2013-07-06 18:56:15 UTC
that was really crap Big smile
Indahmawar Fazmarai
#19 - 2013-07-06 19:12:25 UTC
What does a guy sliding downhill on a flaming piano?

Dunno, hang me if I know.
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#20 - 2013-07-06 19:14:19 UTC
errrm..im trying to work that one out ?.Shocked
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