Intergalactic Summit

Gutter Press recently spoke to some fruit speculators, one of which revealed that the Caldari Prime Incident has been hugely profitable, with a forecast of billions of ISK profit.

Fruit grown on Caldari Prime has in recent years become something of a luxury commodity, popular with Caldari people wishing to have a taste of their ancestral planet. Several corporations and brands of soft drinks marketed premium varieties featuring genuine fruit from Caldari Prime.

Starsi was one such brand of soft drink that had a variety using real Caldari Prime fruit.

The ongoing incident in the Luminaire system, and the devastation of Caldari Prime, has led to predictions of the fruit harvest taking an unprecedented nosedive. One Caldari Prime fruit farmer said "With this pollution, I doubt I'll see another real edible lemon in my lifetime".

Fruity!

Several fruit traders and speculators have taken advantage of this shortage to corner the market in fresh and frozen fruit produce, with one such speculator revealing the lengths they went to try and make a fortune from the Incident.

"Yeah, My ex-wife told me I was an idiot, when I said that the Federation Navy being on exercises meant something big was going down. The guys down at the gravball club didn't believe me when I said that I was going to corner the market for frozen fruit juice. They said I was crazy. But hey, when the Navy moved in on Caldari Prime and engaged the Caldari Fleet, well, you see what happened there. Now there's not going to be any fruit from Caldari Prime in a long, long time. Which makes my huge stockpile very, very valuable. I'm going to make billions of ISK. Enough to replace my ex-wife, that's for sure. Maybe get myself one of them capsuleer wives. You know, once they start getting old looking, blammo, right back like they're just out of their teens. Fan-tas-tic. Hey, aren't you a capsu-"

Speculatory!

The shortage of fresh and frozen real fruit from Caldari Prime is forecast to last for several years, if not decades, due to environmental pollution from the Incident.

A Quafe spokesperson had this to say: "Not all interstellar political problems can be solved with a cool glass of Quafe, with its refreshing fruity taste. But solving those problems that can be solved, tastes so good."

Gutter Press will continue to examine fruity soft drinks, and the stellar-political situations they represent.

Damn, and here I was hoping that Heth would just ride into the sunset, and pick fruit for the rest of his life.

Hey, that's my line!