Intergalactic Summit

I am giving away one hundred million ISK to the one capsuleer that can answer this question the best: why should I give you one hundred million ISK?

You can use any criteria that you wish to answer this question. The only rule is that your responses must be well written. Remember, you are making a declarative statement in answer of a question. The worst thing you can do is fail to answer the question asked.

This contest will last until 2359 21.21 YC114.

Bonus: Ten million to the first person that explains why "I think that I should get the one hundred million ISK because . . .(insert reason here)" is a poorly written opening line.

I deserve 100,000,000 ISK so that I can spend it on fully outfitting a Cynanbal and taking it on a roam to deep low-sec in order to die in a brilliant blaze of light and heat taking as many intruders into Fua with me as possible. I also deserve 100,000,000 due to my lack in poor thread making.

If you can buy and fit a Cynabal for 100 million isk i will give you a medal.

I deserve 100 million ISK for no particular reason, although I would certainly be more inclined to take a read through your guide on "proper posting etiquette" if I received it.

You should give me one hundred million ISK because I'm about to dazzle you with my understanding of your motive, the return on your investment, and my dashing good looks. I'll throw in a threat, too! Read on, gorgeous.

I know you are disappointed with the quality of communication you see here at the Intergalactic Summit. You want your generous offer to draw out the most articulate among us to share some magnificent prose and add a little color to an otherwise dreary IGS experience. Your wish is granted: I'm here. I can't speak much for the rest of the rabble, of course, as you'll likely see a great deal of blathering from the usual troglodytes who can barely offer more than a grunt and a fart to communicate.

I noticed you are offering a grant, not a prize. That intrigues me. A grant is typically a patronage for some project or research that requires funding, not a gift in exchange for something already done. This post, therefore, is undeserving in and of itself. The grant should fund something of interest. I did some research on your career as a pilot, and it seems you like seeing other pilots explode. To that end, I will use your grant to place bounties on some of the losers in this very thread. Given CONCORD's payout rate, your grant will fund approximately five hundred million ISK in destruction. That's a return that any astute Caldari businessperson can appreciate.

Now, I promised you a threat. You should give me the grant because failing to do so will result in a one hundred million ISK bounty on your own head. Revisiting the previous math, that means you will eventually lose about five times that amount to clear the bounty, plus you'll have spent the grant money. Your total loss: six hundred million ISK.

Altogether, you stand to gain four hundred million ISK and avoid losing six hundred million ISK (including wasting the grant on some fool). You get one billion ISK in net value from me, and I'll even throw in a date so you can admire my shrewdness up close and personal--an invaluable bonus. Your choice is clear. You should give me one hundred million ISK because it simply makes the best financial sense and because your greedy Caldari heart is nearly bursting with excitement from reading this.

You should give it to me because...why not?

While bounties may currently be merely an incidental reward for combat that would occur anyway, I have full confidence in the development of a professional class of bounty hunters that will do the damage solely to collect the prize. Your short-sightedness is matched only by your obnoxious condescension.

Careful not to get caught on the tangled webs that you weave as you back-pedal, Derek. We're talking about the present and, additionally, the point still stands that a 100M 'grant' given to yourself would not be the most economically sensible option for Vea, which defeats the premise of your post.

But continue posturing, oh you grandiose beast. I am sure that your 100M, divided among the posters in this thread, will turn the heads of all intergalactic bounty hunters.

Actually - no. Remove your head from your rear. You may be able to waft that potent musk of yours around any cheap baseliner whore as you please but you'll find that up here we tend to have more dignity than to swoon for the likes of you.

Perhaps you'd be better off putting that 100M bounty on myself instead of our pretty Vea here, see how meaningful your business really is.

I will use the money I give you to please myself, and the reason you should give it to me is that I am entirely, unabashedly honest about that.

I'm not going to use the money for any grand and noble cause, unless that's what strikes my fancy. I'm not going to invest it in some potentially lucrative venture, unless that seems like a good idea at the time. I'm not going to spend it on extending my pilot's liscence, unless that's what I want to do. I have absolutely no concern whatsoever about what you think I should do with the money, because once you give it to me, that's no longer my problem, and I absolutely refuse to lower myself to pretending any different just to get a hundred million ISK. Make absolutely no mistake - no matter what I might tell you I'll do with your money is rendered completely irrelevant the moment you give it to me, because it's not me spending your money, it's me spending my money.

Give me your hundred million ISK, and you will have lost a hundred million ISK, but I am the only person from whom you will get the satisfaction of knowing that by the very nature of this proposal, I literally cannot deceive you as to what purpose I'll put it to.

The question at hand isn't why the recipient should receive the ISK, but rather why you should give the ISK. The appropriate opening statement is "You should give me one hundred million ISK because . . ."

That will be 10 million ISK, please.