Crime & Punishment

Ok, so I've been told I can re-post this thread so long as I don't bypass the profanity filter again

Hello C&P, long time no see o/

I've just recently returned to the game after a ~4 month involuntary hiatus (my computer melted), to find that my honourable space corporation Adversity(dot) had gone into a semi-stasis, with only a few members still logging on regularly, if at all. We had also joined FW in order to have opportunity to log in a pew pew with a minimal amount of ~effort~. I logged on for the first time in 4 months, and spoke with my great and noble space boss, Lex Arson, and find that we live in a system called Iesa, in the Bleak Lands, and thusly I start moving all of my stuff there.

Well as it turns out, we have some very interesting neighbors next door in Uusanen. In Uusanen we have a coalition consisting of four different alliances, Alliance of Abandoned Cybernetic Rejects, The Big Dirty, and Weyland Mining and Exploration Directorate. However, the main players in this coalition seem to be The Mockers AO. I'm not really sure what to make of these guys. They aren't really pirates, but they aren't anti-pirates, either. They seem content to just live in their one system, and "control" it, shooting at anyone who comes in. They also have an alt corp in the Minmatar Militia, and are trying to flip system control to prevent us from docking in "their" system.

And that is how I was introduced to them. While I was moving my stuff from all over New Eden into Iesa, all I heard from Lex was how much fun it was to go in and fight these guys and how they always were willing to just throw themselves at him. I very much looked forward to the opportunity to fight against them once I finished properly moving in. I soon got the opportunity. I logged on one day to find that I actually had a corpmate online. BigBoyAl is messing around in Uusanen, soloing in his Hawk. When I log he he goes "hey these guys might be forming up to fight my Hawk". So I undock my trusty Sleipnir and warp to the Uusanen gate.

A few minutes later Al calls out "jump in, warp to the sun, there's a Drake Myrm and Wolf here" I jump in, and as I'm in warp Big solos the Wolf. As I'm about to land Big calls out that a Tornado is landing. Fortunately for us it is a t1 arty, afterburning Tornado that warped to 20km from a frigate that it wanted to kill. Big lands scram/web on it just as I land on grid, and we start laying into it with glorious DPS. Suddenly a wild Thrasher lands on grid and Al starts creating feces upon his trousers. "Oh **** there's a Thrasher here, blap dat foo". And so I do. After the Thrasher is dispatched, we go back to work on the Tornado. We kill the Tornado with ease, and I land a point on the Myrmidon. The Drake bails. The Tornado explodes at I select the Mymidon and hit f1. After a few seconds I notice the Myrm isn't taking a lot of shield damage, so I'm like, oh ok, it's a shield Myrm, I'll just move in and brawl it with EMP since everything else is bailed. As I get about 10km from the Myrm I realize that the reason it wasn't taking much shield damage is because my guns never actually activated on it (presumably my guns were still finishing their cycle when I hit f1 on the Myrm). By the time I realize my error the Myrm has already landed scram/web on me, so I start brawling it. I very nearly switched to fusion ammo, but Big called out a Hurricane on scan, so I opted to keep EMP loaded, with the presumption that when the 'cane landed EMP would allow me to kill the hell out of it quickly. The Hurricane lands, and the Drake is not far behind it, along with an Arbitrator friend. We switch target to the Hurricane, as one would do, but it turns out these guys have traveled through time and are actually from 2007, and it's an armorcane. Belatedly I switch to Fusion, and it's a race to kill the 'cane before my ASB reload cycle. Unfortunately he has an explosive armor rig, and I'm losing the race. My ASB runs out of charges right as the 'cane hits hull, and I'm in 10% shields by the time he dies. The Myrm Drake and Arbi manage to finish me off with ease.

This leaves Big on grid in his Hawk vs a Drake, Myrmidon, and Arbitrator. At first he's all like "lol I'm gonna die", but then afterwards he's all like "lol, I might actually be fine". So I tell him that if he can keep them occupied and on grid without dying, that I'll come back in a Talos and blap some fools. This plan is complicated by the fact that I warped to the wrong gate and jumped through. So Big messes around in Uusanen with those guys, while I jump back out of Sosala, warp through Uusanen, jump into Iesa, and warp to station. As I reach Iesa Big recommences manufacturing feces. "Oh ****, there's a Wolf here now"..."It's ok I'm gonna solo him"..."Wolf is in hull"..."Oh **** there's a Jaguar here"..."Wolf is down"..."Gonna solo the Jaguar"..."Jaguar is down, but I'm on reload cycle, might die to this terrible Drake/Myrm/Arbi combo"..."Nope it's ok I'm burning away from them with my afterburner, I'm actually fine, gonna have to bail til reload cycle though".

By this time I'm in warp to the sun in my Talos. Big bails before I land, but the baddies stick around to loot. In the most miraculous warp-in in history, I manage to land right in-between all of them, yet somehow out of web range of all of them. Like, seriously, their ships were arranged like a space-triangle, and I landed right in the middle of it. I manually pilot my way around and manage to get into a good blapping position. I blap the Arbitrator, and go to town on the hated triple-rep Myrm. Eventually he explodes, and all is right in the universe again. Big and I loot the field, and since the Mockers haven't flipped the system yet I'm able to dock and buy some TECH TWO SALVAGERS, which I can use.

The next day I'm chilling at home when Lex texts me "lol, log on and check corp mail". I do, and find that we have mysteriously acquired access to corp mail from one of the corps in The Mockers. This specific corp mail is from a particularly angry spaztacular spergelord named Bloodpetal (presumably "s1" is code for their home system of Uusanen):

EVEmail removed - CCP Falcon

So we became aware of that mail, and suddenly Mockers were unwilling to engage us; they just sat on station undock in their Abaddons while we ran FW plex in their home system. However, we also had some reliable-ish intel that if we threatened their static resources in Uusanen, they would fight to protect them. And so it came to pass that, while bored yesterday, I undocked an Oracle and a Gila and went to solo bash a poco. Lex Arson was in the vicinity as well, so I said "poco close to die", and thusly Lex Arson was tricked into RFing a poco with me. The reinforcing process went smoothly, a little too smoothly in fact, and we were left wondering if they were actually gonna come fight us after all. Lex contacted our super-chill brosefs for life, Agony Empire, and asked if they would be willing to come along if Mockers, using their alt-corp, batphoned the Minmatar Militia to come help them. Agony agreed, and so we were all set.

We spent the first half of the day finishing the d-plexing of Uusanen, more to annoy them than any actual amount of :care:, and finally got it back down to uncontested status (it was 60% contested about 4 days ago). After that we did our solo/2-man fleet thing, and racked up some decent kills. By around 2 hours before the poco was set to come out, local in Uusanen was at 22, which is over double what's normally in there at that time of day, so we were feeling good about how things were gonna go. Big and I were out trying to find an enemy fleet in our 2 Talos' just before op time, and upon having them magically vanish into thin air, decided that we should head home to be there in time for the op. I jumped into Uusanen on my way to Iesa, and found myself surrounded by a mockers gatecamp. They have 20 in local, with roughly 10 BC on gate. Hells yeah. I burned back to gate with ease, and we managed to circumvent their camp and get home to Iesa.

We then suffered the greatest level of disorganization I've ever experienced in a 4-man fleet. "who has the cyno", "do you have ozone?", "who's flying Legion links?", "who's flying Loki links?", "who had the ozone, again?", "someone was giving me a cyno, right?", "which links did you say you wanted me to fly?". It was pretty hilarious and embarrassing, but we eventually got it all sorted. Eventually we wound up with our 4 armor BS and one triage Archon ready in Iesa, and Agony with ~20 peeps in Kamela, when suddenly a wild Minmatar militia fleet showed up in Sosala. They flew around the area for a bit, and eventually settled into Sosala. Adversity undocked and warped to the Uusanen gate.

We jumped into Uusanen, and upon seeing no hostiles on grid, warped to the poco. We managed to shoot it for a whopping 2 minutes before a large mixed Mockers/Minmatar Militia fleet landed on grid with us. We put cyno up and our Archon comes in. The Minmatar fleet leaving Sosala to come shoot us means that Agony can get to Uusanen from Kamela unimpeded. Eventually everyone winds up on grid together, and it's on. They have a roughly 40 man fleet, with 3 logistics and many BCs, and we have a 24 man fleet, with largely armor BS and a single Archon. Right off the bat Lex and myself get the full brunt of their neuts and ecm drones, with me being primary. Eventually Lex gives up and warps his main to station, and focuses solely on triage piloting. I get jammed pretty much straight off the bat and Big has to call targets. Eventually we kill enough ships fielding ecm drones that the jams start to thin out. Soon Big gets jammed and I re-takeover target calling. By this point the enemy fleet is in shambles, with people coming back in their 3rd or 4th ships in some cases. We finish off everything in range, and the rest of the enemy fleet burns off and warps away, leaving us to loot the field. We blap the poco, loot the field, and call it a day. Total losses are 5 ships, total kills are over 40.

http://www.evecomms.com/adversity/?a=kill_related&kll_id=1272
http://www.agony-unleashed.com/killboard/index.php/kill_related/97018/

Much better

I've met Bloodpetal several times and we get along well. I've gotten the impression he's a decent dude with his head on straight. Apparently I was wrong.

So sad to see people melt with fury the moment the pressure's on.

These guys just dropped a Thanatos on my Sleipnir in a FW plex.

I enjoyed reading this. Bloodpetal who i have played alongside for two years is a top bloke. You just have to be fighting with him and not against him . Ever heard of the phrase " Don't believe everything you read in the paper's"

Well all i can say is, Lex must work for the Daily Mail becuase the bs im reading here is priceless :)

Which part of the story is fiction?

I can give my word that every word of the OP is the honest-to-goodness truth.