EVE General Discussion

this thread is depressing omg.

So EVE has sound in 2032?

Well might as well come clean with the truth, as of 2060 EVE is doing GREAT!!


Sometime around 2015 unexpectedly massive and sustained profits from Dust 514 provoke Sony into an attempted take over of CCP, which is met by a huge backlash known to history as the "Week of Darkness". During this so called week of darkness hundreds of thousands of EVE Online and Dust 514 players joined by still thousands more disgruntled Sony customers come together in the largest corporate protest in history, marching on the three major headquarters of Sony Computer Entertainment in Japan, London, and California. The resulting damages and loss of reputation among their customer base results in Sony Global fileing for bankruptcy in 2018.

After the closing of Sony all rights to Dust 514 are turned over to CCP. CCP uses it's profits to fund an expansion at CCP that results in the company bringing on board some of the greatest video game designers from all over the planet. Shigeru Miyamoto becomes even more universally admired for his work on spaceship designs, specificly his redesign of the Avatar class titan. While Ed Boon and John Tobias come on board as senior programmers for Team Avatar, resulting in some of the most addictive (and gruesome) MMO ambulation ever created.

World of Darkness is finally released in 2019, which becomes an instant hit among the world's goth communities, and sparks a revived interest in Vampire: The Masquerade. The combined revenue generated from the global "vamp craze" and profit streams from the EVE Online/Dust 514 products, which continue to see steady increases in subscribers on a quarterly basis, results in CCP becoming one of the wealthiest corporations on the planet.

In 2022 CCP purchases the nation of Iceland and renames it Punkturia, establishing the world's first corporate owned country. The Democratic Industrial Punkturian Socialist Homogenized In Triumph party more commonly known as the "dips**ts" becomes one of the planet's leading political forces, promoting numberous social and economic reforms that bring forth a golden age of financial and cultural prosperity for all humanity. As a result of the work carried out by the Dips**ts, Punkturia goes on to boost a less than stellar global space industry, which along with the collective efforts of 183 nations leads to the formation of the Sol-3 Global Space Initiative, also known as the Spacebros and Sisters United for all Humanity, or more commonly "Sas U 4 Humanity".

In 2030 the Sol-3 Global Space Initiative completes construction in record time on the planet's first fleet of spaceships capable of intergalactic travel, many of them based on original designs from EVE Online (my family and I live on a Vexor class exploration vessel) and powered by advanced multidimensional engines based on declassified research previously conducted by Nikola Tesla. It is during this time of expansion that, thanks to the Tesla drive, humanity reestablishes contact with several extraterrestrial civilizations which had formerly visited Earth in it's past, thus finally discovering once and for all through the correlated historical records of five galactic civilizations the true history of planet Earth and the origins of humanity, which turns out to have been the result of biological contamination left behind by a deep space research team from the Andromeda galaxy millions of years ago. Faced with the humbling realization that life on planet Earth was indeed an unintentional accident, several religious institutions quietly fade into history, and humanity collectively celebrates in unity and peace it's great fortune at having evolved into what it is today from a mere accident.

In 2043 the carebear mining division of the spacebros and sisters made contact with an elusive and highly advanced race known as the Fynh, who despite living a mere 12 light years from the Sol system in the sytem of Tau Ceti, kept themselves hidden using advanced pandimensional cloaking technology until such time as they were certain humanity was no longer a potential threat. It is from this peaceful contact with the Fynh that humanity was granted knowledge that resulted in safe and reliable human-to-machine interfaces that not only resulted in us finally being able to create an interface which allows for the very capsule technology found in EVE Online to be used aboard our physical spaceships, but also a state of virtual reality on par with that from the classic television series Star Trek, which strangely no other civilization save the Fynh themselves had managed to perfect, and which finally allows EVE Online to be played the way so many had envisioned it in decades past.

Finally, and here's the best part... two years ago the "Treaty of EVE" was signed by three thousand twenty eight civilizations through out the known verse... who have agreed to adopt the virtual metaverse of EVE Online as the sole method by which universal conflicts will now be resolved. Countless worlds existing on numberous planes of existence have heralded this as the start of a golden age for all the known multiverse. Subsequently in the next couple years you may begin to notice increased activity in the Jovian region of EVE space, this is due to countless sentient beings retroactively training up characters for use in treaty sanctioned combat and other forms of gameplay I doubt you could even imagine. I've read about a gameplay element you had back in the early 21st century called "time dilation" just wait until you see what that's like in a virtual metaverse capable of pandimensional travel to any point within space and time.

Please accept on behalf of the three thousand twenty eight ratifiers of the treaty of EVE, your future selves, the adult selves of your children, and your children's children who now reside on countless worlds throughout the verse, our deepest thanks for helping co-create the greatest conflict resolution device in the known multiverse.

Pls apply for a job as Cronicle writer ,CCP needs you

A lot of text ,but a nice read

TY and
+1

hehe 21 characters shy of the limit, yea baby.

Congrats. You just defined a one-way street.

These people are so nice, trying to cover up the truth.

Judgment day happened. Skynet becomes sentient and launches a nuclear strike against its enemies. We fight the terminators for 15 long years before we finally reached Skynet's central core in 2032.

To stop the monstrosity, the leader of the human forces, the one known as Chribba, loaded a session of EvE and turned on the captain's quarters. Skynet's processors maxed and ground to a halt, crippling its defenses and allowing us to gain final victory over the machines.

In honor of EvE's place in saving humanity, we tried to fulfill its ultimate promise of mankind in the stars. In time it even became religion.

As our holy chat logs taught us, the first of us in space set up transmitters which we use to constantly send offers for money doubling, lotteries, and trades where we offer you coke classic but give you new coke. We also set up giant rail guns on the moons surface which we use to blow away any new ships launching from Earth's surface, no noobs will be allowed in orbit. We spend the time between launches whining about how there's no one in low orbit (we call it lowsec, as the holy words tell us).

So in the future, EvE IS real. I know this because I was there.

Only 2 and a Half Months Till WIS is finally released \0/

I will be more than 1/2 way through the skill tree!

Daaaang, that plot about deserves it's own book, or at least a novella.
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& lol @ it's dying.
..or - EVE is dying™