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Caldari Militia on verge of collapse - Quafe to launch new flavour ?
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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
#1 - 2012-05-14 20:21:13 UTC
With the State Protectorate folding faster than CreoDron's domestic Laundrone series of laundry drones, astonishing rumours reach Gutter Press of a new Quafe flavour!

Incredible!

Quafe personnel have apparently been spotted collecting "samples" from several of the worlds liberated from the dictator Heth's cold grip.

We spoke to one Quafe technician who claimed that Quafe was gearing up for a product he called "Quafe Federal Victory" !

He said: "It is a blend of fruit grown from all over Black Rise, I heard"

Amazing!

We approached a senior Quafe official for a statement about when this exciting new flavour would be available, but were met with a denial that Quafe were planning any such thing!

"Quafe Corporation has no plans to release a product by that name" said the official, going on to state "Enjoy Quafe's cool refreshing taste today".

Mystery!

Opinion on the streets of Luminaire was mixed:

"The Caldari are collapsing? Ha, perhaps we'll auction those systems off eh? Maybe they'll buy them back, hahaha" said one man.
"A new Quafe flavour? Will wonders never cease" said another.

Not all were fans though:
"Quafe is disgusting. Drink (REDACTED)! it tastes like Revenge!" screamed one deranged woman before she was dragged away by Federal police.

Gutter Press will continue to investigate the possibility of exciting new Quafe flavours being introduced.

Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#2 - 2012-05-14 20:37:39 UTC
Rather than drinking Quafe, which I am sure is made of fermented baby pieces, or Starsi, which I know for a fact is filled to the brim with memetic virii, people of discerning taste should drink Phanta.

Phanta, we absolutely guarantee it will be the best thing you have ever tasted.

Phanta, you know you wanta, Wanta Phanta.
Halete
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#3 - 2012-05-15 06:02:05 UTC
So we're agreed that Poire Viladillet is close to achieving the same evils during his time as were achieved in over three thousand years of slavery?

"To know the true path, but yet, to never follow it. That is possibly the gravest sin" - The Scriptures, Book of Missions 13:21
Fleet Warpsujarento
Doomheim
#4 - 2012-05-15 16:14:20 UTC
It's an outright lie to say that Caldari Militia is in a state of collapse. Sure we die twice as much and kill half of what the Gallente do, sure we're fragmented and have no effective leadership, sure we lost our home system to the Gallente in less than 18 hours despite fighting them with everything we had. But our loyalty point income has never been healthier. Nobody, and I mean nobody can put as many Manticores in space as CalMil, and that's what really counts.
Xane Valadeus
Doomheim
#5 - 2012-05-15 16:29:40 UTC
Fleet Warpsujarento wrote:
It's an outright lie to say that Caldari Militia is in a state of collapse. Sure we die twice as much and kill half of what the Gallente do, sure we're fragmented and have no effective leadership, sure we lost our home system to the Gallente in less than 18 hours despite fighting them with everything we had. But our loyalty point income has never been healthier. Nobody, and I mean nobody can put as many Manticores in space as CalMil, and that's what really counts.


I do pray, for your sake, that this is sarcasm.
Fleet Warpsujarento
Doomheim
#6 - 2012-05-15 16:31:08 UTC
Nope, everything I said is true.
Xane Valadeus
Doomheim
#7 - 2012-05-15 17:17:34 UTC
Fleet Warpsujarento wrote:
Nope, everything I said is true.


Then I shall be in deep prayer for the future of the State Protectorate. At the very least, they need to elevate their standards of acceptance to those that have even a passing understanding of what constitutes tactical strategy and what really "counts" in battle.
Fleet Warpsujarento
Doomheim
#8 - 2012-05-15 19:23:38 UTC
What's "tactical strategy"?
Andreus Ixiris
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#9 - 2012-05-15 20:10:04 UTC
Fleet Warpsujarento wrote:
What's "tactical strategy"?


Clearly, it's the opposite of strategic tactics.

Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.

Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.

Andreus Ixiris > ...

Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
Halete
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#10 - 2012-05-15 20:34:26 UTC
My guess would be a strategy that successfully employs the use of tactics.

"To know the true path, but yet, to never follow it. That is possibly the gravest sin" - The Scriptures, Book of Missions 13:21
Lyn Farel
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#11 - 2012-05-16 11:18:13 UTC
What ?
Lialus Raithe
Doomheim
#12 - 2012-05-16 11:28:41 UTC
If there is any one thing I will commend Gutter Press for, it is their alarming efficiency at bringing out the best in people.
Raphael Ordo
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#13 - 2012-05-16 12:27:12 UTC
Fleet Warpsujarento wrote:
It's an outright lie to say that Caldari Militia is in a state of collapse. Sure we die twice as much and kill half of what the Gallente do, sure we're fragmented and have no effective leadership, sure we lost our home system to the Gallente in less than 18 hours despite fighting them with everything we had. But our loyalty point income has never been healthier. Nobody, and I mean nobody can put as many Manticores in space as CalMil, and that's what really counts.


What have you been smoking the last few years?
Fleet Warpsujarento
Doomheim
#14 - 2012-05-16 13:24:56 UTC
Nennamailan Cracksmack. I make it in station from reactor coolant, strontium clathrates and rocket propellant. You wanna buy some?
Raphael Ordo
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#15 - 2012-05-16 14:55:50 UTC
Fleet Warpsujarento wrote:
Nennamailan Cracksmack. I make it in station from reactor coolant, strontium clathrates and rocket propellant. You wanna buy some?


In another clone, maybe.

In any case, you previous comment renders you a direct disgrace to the Caldari people. How can you, one of the capsuleers of the protectorate, "admit" that we are loosing more than we are winning in this war? Even from the very start?
And talking about "... lost our home system to the Gallente in less than 18 hours..." without even giving a second thought and note about how outnumbered we were. Not giving any tiny bit of credit to any the ordinary men and women, like Admiral Tovil-Toba, that ultimately gave you the life you can have in the State today?

You spit on them. And you spit on the Caldari history and our coming future with that comment.


Sometimes I wonder if the criteria for becoming a capsuleer has suffered a profound drop in intelligence.
Fleet Warpsujarento
Doomheim
#16 - 2012-05-16 15:06:04 UTC
I'm proud to be a Caldari. Just in a different way to you. I don't care so much about our military or political successes because conventional success just isn't an important part of being Caldari any more. What I care about is how efficiently we can make money for ourselves. We're not the great power we used to be, and I think we need to accept that. We can find pride in our lesser achievements instead.
Lialus Raithe
Doomheim
#17 - 2012-05-16 16:23:41 UTC
Fleet Warpsujarento wrote:
I'm proud to be a Caldari. Just in a different way to you. I don't care so much about our military or political successes because conventional success just isn't an important part of being Caldari any more. What I care about is how efficiently we can make money for ourselves. We're not the great power we used to be, and I think we need to accept that. We can find pride in our lesser achievements instead.


You have some audacity to call yourself Caldari with an outlook like that.

I may be a Gallente and I may be an enemy to the Caldari as far as military operations and standpoints are concerned, and there's a history of bad blood between our people, but I can respect the convictions and culture of my enemies. You are a member of the State Protectorate, a Capsuleer militia waging a "proxy" war on behalf of the Caldari State and its people. Yet your attitude and your complete disregard for the state of existence of the Caldari people is a disgrace beyond words.

What happened? Because you started losing space in the contested systems, you decided to throw your hands up and surrender? Because you're suffering a few defeats, you're suddenly no longer a major power in the cluster? Need I remind you of the suffering and uncertainty suffered by the Intaki during the military occupation of their homeworld and the events leading up to it? Do I need to remind you of the crushing defeats the Federation endured in the history of our two nations' conflicts? Yet we are still here, we are still independent and fighting, we are still strong!

Your attitude disgusts me. I may be an enemy to the Caldari State, but I can respect its resolve. I can respect its people and their sense of duty and honor. Our collective histories are rife with atrocities and vile acts but the day we bow down and surrender the will to fight for whom we are is the day we lose ourselves to the halls of history.

For the sake of the Caldari people, despite our differences, I hope there are no more like you in their military ranks.
Lialus Raithe
Doomheim
#18 - 2012-05-16 16:31:08 UTC
Raphael Ordo wrote:

And talking about "... lost our home system to the Gallente in less than 18 hours..." without even giving a second thought and note about how outnumbered we were. Not giving any tiny bit of credit to any the ordinary men and women, like Admiral Tovil-Toba, that ultimately gave you the life you can have in the State today?


Admiral Tovil-Toba twice attacked civilian populations during military operations, with a combined casualty total over 200 million. The State may proclaim him a hero for buying the Caldari time to evacuate their citizens from Caldari Prime, but the willingness to slaughter non-combatant lives on such a scale without remorse is vile. Even now, your government holds the lives of civilians hostage with its fleet over Caldari Prime.

It is said "war makes monsters of us all," but only if we allow it.

Raphael Ordo wrote:
Sometimes I wonder if the criteria for becoming a capsuleer has suffered a profound drop in intelligence.


We can at least agree on this query.
Raphael Ordo
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#19 - 2012-05-16 18:17:33 UTC
Lialus Raithe wrote:
Admiral Tovil-Toba twice attacked civilian populations during military operations, with a combined casualty total over 200 million. The State may proclaim him a hero for buying the Caldari time to evacuate their citizens from Caldari Prime, but the willingness to slaughter non-combatant lives on such a scale without remorse is vile. Even now, your government holds the lives of civilians hostage with its fleet over Caldari Prime.

It is said "war makes monsters of us all," but only if we allow it.


Personally, I do not like justify the Admiral's actions regarding the loss of "innocent" civilians. I respect my enemies in ways that is similiar to your own.
Still, the Gallente Federation and it's people has claimed to have the most well-driven democracy in the known galaxy. Thus the decision to take siege on Caldari Prime that day, killing and to nearly extinguish the entire Caldari race, was ultimately a choice made by the people themselves.
Therefore I feel less pity for those Gallenteans that perished that day. Be it millions or billions. They brought it upon themselves.

Admiral Tovil-Toba did what anyone would do when facing annihilation - He saw a way for us to perservere. Even if it ment by taking it to the extreme..

History is history though. It tends to repeat itself. The difference this time is us.
I just hope we are fortunate, as you pointed out to our fellow Capsuleer here, that there ain't more like her in the our ranks. For the sake of my people and the State. And for the bloody sake of a good battle between our races.
Lialus Raithe
Doomheim
#20 - 2012-05-16 20:40:20 UTC
Raphael Ordo wrote:

Personally, I do not like justify the Admiral's actions regarding the loss of "innocent" civilians. I respect my enemies in ways that is similiar to your own.
Still, the Gallente Federation and it's people has claimed to have the most well-driven democracy in the known galaxy. Thus the decision to take siege on Caldari Prime that day, killing and to nearly extinguish the entire Caldari race, was ultimately a choice made by the people themselves.


Not at all, this is not how a democracy functions in emergency situations, such decisions are executive decisions made by the President (under emergency powers) or the Senate. If a democracy waited for the will of the people in situations like that, we'd stand idly around while we get massacred.

Furthermore, the orbital bombardment on Caldari Prime was in retaliation to the Orbital Bombing and sabotage done to Nouvelle Rouvenor. The bombardment was also done in stages, with a request for cease fire and surrender after each stage, all of which were denied.

So, to clarify, it wasn't the "people's decision" it was the military's response to the initial slaughter of have a million Gallente citizens who had no relation to or involvement in the conflict at hand.

Raphael Ordo wrote:
Therefore I feel less pity for those Gallenteans that perished that day. Be it millions or billions. They brought it upon themselves.


By what? Existing on a homeworld, separated from the war? By being Gallenteans? They had absolutely nothing to do with the battle at hand. The Caldari people attacked a civilian city while the Federation was seeking a peaceful resolution to the tension between our two peoples and the Federation responded by seizing and bombarding the Caldari homeworld to attempt to force a cease fire. The center of the conflict was Caldari Prime, where the Caldari bombed a Gallente colony.

Raphael Ordo wrote:
Admiral Tovil-Toba did what anyone would do when facing annihilation - He saw a way for us to perservere. Even if it ment by taking it to the extreme..


I disagree that anyone would take the path he took, I would agree that he was in a desperate situation and sought to liberate his people from their current predicament. What he chose to do was vile and destroyed countless lives and families when a cease fire could have prevented death on both sides. He chose the path the Caldari would have had him choose and they have hailed him a hero since.

Raphael Ordo wrote:
History is history though. It tends to repeat itself. The difference this time is us.
I just hope we are fortunate, as you pointed out to our fellow Capsuleer here, that there ain't more like her in the our ranks. For the sake of my people and the State. And for the bloody sake of a good battle between our races.


A battle that thankfully no longer involves the lives of citizens unless someone breaches the very fragile lines keeping everything in check.
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