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  • Date of Birth: 2013-02-14 04:57
  • First Forum Visit: 2013-06-05 12:17
  • Likes Received: 18

Jalep Malukker

Security Status -10.0
  • The Tuskers Member since
  • The Tuskers Co. Member since

Last 20 Posts

  • [video] The Case for War in EVE Communication Center

    Here is a video I made about the recent conflict in New Eden. Interested in everyone's thoughts and comments.

    If you are interested in joining the reddit discussion about the video, you can do so here.

  • 3 account fearless NewBro seeks home! in EVE Corporations, Alliances and Organizations Center

    If you want to shoot at things with your main on day one, with people who are more than willing to teach and happy to let you go out and figure things on your own, we might be a good fit. We're very stable and have been an active corp since 2010. We know who we are (lowsec, small gang PVP) and we aren't going to change that any time soon. We have excellent retention rates because of our laid back, but effective style.

    See our recruitment thread:

  • Casual player looking for social, friendly corp in EVE Corporations, Alliances and Organizations Center

    Come fly with us! We're all friends and we love to PVP in a relaxed atmosphere. If you like explosions without the drama, let me know.

  • 78mill sp looking for npc null pvp corp in EVE Corporations, Alliances and Organizations Center

    XMETA sounds like what you're looking for:

    - Gallente FW corp that focuses specifically on small gang PVP. There is no better place to log in and find fights. No BS, no CTAs, we exist to blow stuff up. Full stop.

    -Many (most?) of us have families of our own and are working professionals. We don't have time for drama. We get that family comes first. We are here to shoot at things and have a good time.

    -In the US TZ (mostly Eastern and Central)

    -Fly in small gangs

    -Tight knit group. Active every night of the week. Fly with the same guys every day

    -Willing to teach small gang/solo tactics

    -Enjoy hunting in packs to get bigger kills

    -Have access to larger Gallente Fleets

    -Use Teamspeak, Use Slack for out of game coordination/EFTing/BSing

    -Are NBSI, many of us are also -10 sec status

    -Live in lowsec and have the necessary support structure to do so (hauling alts, links, scouts, etc)


  • Request: Loan for Capital Production in EVE Gameplay Center

    What's your proposed interest rates and terms of the loan? How frequently will interest be calculated?

  • Active & recruiting FW corporations - ALL FACTIONS in EVE Gameplay Center

    Mecha Enterprises Fleet [XMETA]
    Alliance: none
    CEO: Pyronatic
    Recruiting officer: Kontraband Venning, Jalep Malukker, K1llertrout
    Recruitment: ACTIVE
    Focus: PVP
    In-game public channel: XMETA kills stuff
    Additional info concerning recruitment (optional):

    XMETA focuses on small gang and solo PVP. While we will join forces with other Militia to fight the Caldari in larger fleets, we spend the majority of our time in small groups of frigates and destroyers. We are mostly a US TZ corp interested in teaching those new to FW and Eve alike!

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    RAIN Arthie wrote:
    Hmm. Too down to earth for my likes however I do commend how well written it is. I myself find that the first sentence is what starts the fire for me. I need something that will captivate me till the last word. Some of the stuff I have read for the contest is quite dry. I do relate to your writtings though as I'm sure most do, as we have been there ourselves. I will challenge you to keep writting and force yourself to be better as I do all writters. Fly safe.

    Before the accusations start flying I did write a piece for the contest however I'm not sure if it made it to the judges table. Should you inquire about it, "Of Whores and Heros" is its title.

    I admit my style is very down-to-earth. I am the type of person who prefers a somewhat blander aesthetic when it comes to fantasy. It's one of the reasons I enjoy Eve so much, as compared to WoW (All humans, vs mixed races). Anyhow, I appreciate your feedback and will certainly try to improve in the future.

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    Telegram Sam wrote:
    "Carefully, like a surgen. A bomb technician. I get close to the wreck. Not too close, now."
    Those were some great lines. Smile Those and a few other details along the way helped make the story really fun and a great read.

    Thanks Sam! I'm honored that you enjoyed my story. It really was fun to do and I am very much looking forward to next year's contest. Thank you again for organizing such an outstanding contest.

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    Rhavas wrote:
    Great read and a well-deserved win in the Day in the Life category - totally reminded me of my own start writing EVE stuff as well as Cherenadine Harper's "Space Noob" stuff when he just started. You really should start a blog of your own. I run mine for free on, and you can find loads of other bloggers via the #tweetfleet hashtag on Twitter. Come join us!

    Thanks! and congrats to you on such a well written story! Very deserving of the Grand Prize! I appreciate the encouragement to start my own blog, it's something I've considered before - maybe now's the time to look into it.

  • Pod and Pilot Fiction Contest is back! in EVE Communication Center

    "Jalep. Jalep!" Jemica whispered as loud as she could, forcing her breath from the back of her throat.

    I was busy. "Just.. a few more... inches..." Carefully, I worked the eight legged insectoid robot towards Rhavas' wallet. As it slowly crawled towards the Grand Prize winner, my mind began to drift, dreaming of what I'd do when I relieved him of his newly won Plex. "Almost.. got it." I nudge the controls with painstaking care.

    "JALEP! You won!" She yelped, grabbing my shoulders, jostling the controls and sending my robotic thief skittering wayward across the floor and into Da'iel Zehn's boots.

    "No. I didn't - look: Now Rhavas is moving his wallet to his front pocket - I'll never snag it now." I grumble, patting my own pockets in search of a pack of cigarettes.

    "No, you won First Place in the Day in the Life Category, you lug!" Her eyes were glimmering. For a second I consider what 'second cousins' really means and how much it matters, before snapping back to the moment at hand.

    "I did what? With my story?" I drop the cigarettes in shock.

    By this point ushers are guiding me to the raised dais and a fog of emotion is gathering around my thoughts. My legs feel weak. I meander over to the podium. I squint as I look up, trying to find Jemica in the crowd. The spotlight is too bright. I lean over the microphone, holding my hand over my brow to shield the spotlight.

    "Umm. Thank... you." When did my mouth get this dry? "Thank you to... everyone who..." My mind is a broken jigsaw puzzle. Words are eluding me. I try to focus. It's not working. I stop for a second to compose my thoughts. "Thank you to everyone who put this... great contest together. Thank you, again."

    I look up and see the timer is almost at zero. I turn, confused and try to find the exit.

    "Yeah, bang up job on that speech, Jalep" I mutter to myself as I am guided back stage. It didn't cover what I wanted to say. Not even close. What I had meant to say, were my thoughts not a jumbled, confused mess. Was how deeply humbled I was to be chosen from among such a wonderful collection of stories written by such talented writers. What I had wanted to say was how impressed I was by the quality of the works submitted. How they had all clearly been toiled over and been written with great passion. But none of that came out.

    Had I not been so completely surprised by the outcome, I had meant to thank Sam, CCP Eterne, CCP Falcon, and Mike Azariah for taking time from their busy schedules to read all the stories and provide thoughtful scoring on each. How this contest adds to the richness that is New Eden and highlights just how amazing the community surrounding it is.

    As I head back stage, I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a pen.

    "Better start making notes for next year's story."

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    Thanks for reading!

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    I jump in again and sure enough, the sentinels of flashing red and yellow are there, presiding over their field of wrecks. Protected by the safety of my gate cloak for the moment. I survey the field. There is a wreck only 14km from me. I need to be extremely careful. I check for other objects nearby which might betray my cloak. I steel my nerves.

    “You can do this.”

    I must activate my cloaking device as soon as I begin to move and lose my gate cloak. I review the sequence in my head over and over. My finger, trembling, hovers over the cloak button. Nervously, I hit approach and slam my finger on the cloak key. My mouth is dry, I can't swallow. As quickly as my ship drops cloak, it regains it. I am plodding towards that wreck at a blistering 42m/s. But I am alive.

    They know I am here. I can feel their anger. As I crawl towards the wreck -a Gallente Destroyer – one of them shouts at me, “JUST DECLOAK AND GET IT OVER WITH!” A few more seconds and more taunts “THERE IS NO WAY OUT!” But I am determined. Shaking like a leaf, but determined.

    I will overcome these giants, I will get away. Just stay calm. I must be within 2,500 meters to loot the wreck, but if I come within 2,000 meters of it, I will decloak. Slim margin for error. Fortunately I am going about as fast as a freighter in molasses, so I have time to think.

    “From here, it's like a slower version of the game you played in Jita. Approach the wreck, align, loot and warp off.” I try to tell myself.

    I don't believe me. I can feel the axniousness in my gut. My heart is throbbing in my chest and my limbs are heavy. But this time, it's for a different reason. Not because I fear losing a ship – I've done that plenty and have enough ISK to cover a few loses now. Now I want to win. I want to stick it to these guys. Show them that a newbie can beat them at their own game.

    “You've been at this for years, I've been doing it for weeks. Your clone has more skill points than my wallet has ISK and I am going to pull this off right under your nose,” I mutter, trying to psych myself up.

    Carefully, like a surgen. A bomb technician. I get close to the wreck. Not too close, now. I come to rest 2,200 meters from it. I open it. 8 million ISK in blasters and other modules, free for the taking.

    I align to a planet, as I've done so many times. I check and recheck my surroundings. I mentally review the next critical steps. I take a few deep breaths, trying desperately to calm my nerves. It's not working. My palms are slick with sweat. I'm just going to have to do this in a state of semi-panic. At this point, that's the best I can muster.

    I drop my cloak, loot the wreck and warp off. As my ship zips off into the distance, I collapse back in my chair and exhale, smiling to myself. I've just intentionally gone into one of the most renown gate camps in all of New Eden and successfully evaded and looted it. I begin to giggle like a child. I am stealing from the big boys and they can't stop me. I am but a toy amongst giants.

    While in mid warp, safely out of the reach of the Pirates' weapons, I decide to send them a taunt of my own as I scoot out of their grasp.


    I can imagine their fury and it sustains me. I cackle to myself as I review the loot in my cargo hold. I have found my profession in New Eden. At least for now. True, this is a cold, harsh universe filled with people who seek to ruin your day. People who've got years and years of experience over you. But I take solace in knowing that anyone, even a four week old newbie, can play with the big boys and have success. With that thought, I decide to stick around New Eden for a while.

    “Let's see what other kinds of trouble I can cause.”

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    * * *

    As my ship exists warp outside of the Caldari Navy Assembly Plant, I smugly stare at the menacing mass of ships which earlier tried to destroy me.

    “Go ahead and try to shoot at me now,” I mutter, winking at the CONCORD Police Captain nearby.

    I dock up and quickly sell off my loot to the highest bidder, watching with glee as my wallet flashes its new balance: 1,352,543.73 ISK. I feel as if I am the richest person in all of New Eden.

    With my loot sold, I get in touch with the local repair shop and ask for a quote to return my faithful ship to its original form. The Caldari repair technicians make a few unwelcome jokes about 'not having enough duct tape' and being 'fresh out of bubble gum' before we ink a deal and they get to work.

    While I am waiting for the repairs to finish, I begin to review how I would pull off my next heist. I had bookmarked the Perimeter station where I had stayed waiting my timer out – every villain needs a hideout, and it seems mine would be the Poksu Mineral Group Mineral Reserve.

    My ship's repairs are complete, she looks good as new. As I admire her, I realize that “Jalep Malukker's Vigil” does not have the same ring to it that other, more renowned villain's vehicles have. After some consideration, “The Mighty Sling” is born.

    I hone my skills further over the next few weeks. Sniffing out duels for juicy loot and nabbing it before anyone can lay a hand on me. Looting wreck after wreck. Barely a month old, I realize I can be effective in New Eden. These behemoths, years older than me, are powerless to stop me as I steal everything in Jita that isn't nailed down.

    * * *

    I want more. I want that high I felt the first time I got away. Where can I find it? Where? After some more research, I have my answer.

    “Low sec.” I groan, realizing it will surely mean more death, more pain.

    Again I lean over my star map. My fingers glide across its sleek surface, hunting for a new destination. I get my loot from other's destroyed ships. So where is the destruction happening? I query the map for the most ship loses.


    I've learned my lesson now, I research before jumping right in. Quickly I learn this is a place of some repute. Pirates of the most ruthless variety live here. Terrorizing anyone who tries to pass through. This month alone they've destroyed nearly a thousand ships. Ruining, no doubt, countless days and leaving a trail of smoking wrecks in their wake. Orphaning untold cargo. Perfect!

    The first time I jumped in to Rancer is an experience I will not soon forget. As my grid loaded, I nearly went in to shock at sight of almost two dozen ships flashing yellow and red on my overview. Wrecks? Oh there were wrecks. Everywhere. I watched, cloaked, for a few seconds as these monsters ripped an industrial ship apart. They toyed with it for a bit. Like a cat with a caught mouse. Swatting it about for pleasure, without killing it. Then, when they'd had their fun, they turned it to scrap in a heartbeat. Gulp.

    “No way I can scoop any of this loot without being popped, better warp off.”

    I thought the action in Jita was fast. I thought I had gotten good at working under pressure. I thought I understood how to get away. I thought my ship was agile enough. I was wrong. The second. The very instant I press warp, I am scrambled, webbed, and taking damage. I blink, and I'm back in a station, reading mail from myself. It was that fast.

    “You could have at least bought me dinner first,” I grumble.

    These guys are pros. They know exactly what they are doing, and killing newbies like me is what they do for laughs. But there was so much loot on the field. I haven't let New Eden intimidate me yet and I'm not about to start now. Time for more research. What can I do to prevent these guys from catching me? I investigate warp core stabilizers, but quickly dismiss them as pointless against a group that large, that specialized.

    After some consideration, I conclude my only option for avoiding the Rancer pirates' wrath – other than simply not going there, which is out of the question - is to never allow them to see me in the first place. I'll cloak.

    More reading. I learn the limitations of cloaking, how if anything, even the tiniest object, gets too close to me I'll decloak and be insta-popped again. Intense.

    My eyes bulge when I see the cost of a Prototype Cloaking Device. It will triple the cost of my looting Vigil. But I am determined. I want that high again and I want that loot. So I buy one. I train. I fit up my ship and I head back out.

    “Get ready, Rancer, because I'm coming back.”

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    * * *

    I read up on the laws of New Eden. I learn what the skull and crossbones, the timers mean. I understand now why I was shot out of the sky. I read more. I learn about warp scramblers, about lock times.

    “I need a faster ship.”

    After more reading, I realize my ship must be able to grab the loot and get out before half of downtown Jita can light me up like a Christmas tree. There is a pile of cigarette butts on the station floor beside my feet. I survey the market and begin to compare ships – I am somewhat limited in what I can fly, but then, I find her:

    The Vigil.

    Quick, agile, and with a sizable cargo hold. Perfect. I buy one and fit it with a microwarp drive and nanofiber internal structures, to make it even faster and more nimble. I like these modules even though they increase the ship's fragility. Recalling the size of the behemoth ships of battle I saw outside that station, I realize nothing I could do to my ship's fragility will matter much anyway. “Out there, if I get caught, I'm already dead.”

    I know where I'm going this time, so without hesitation I embark on the 23 jump journey. Where the scenery fails to buoy my spirits this time, the excitement of grabbing a pile of shiny modules keeps my mind dancing.

    I come howling out of warp and am again taken aback by the incredible throng of ships of all sizes. I am less dazed this time, more focused. I circle around, surveying the landscape until I find the perfect target: a cargo container with some one million ISK worth of autocanons, an afterburner, and some ammo.

    “This'll do. But be smarter this time.”

    I get close to the container. But before looting it, I find and escape path – a planet some 11 AU away to which I will warp. I feel a thumping again in my chest as I anticipate what is about to happen.

    “Clam down, dammit, relax.” I exhale.

    I align to the planet. I find it difficult to work the controls. My fingers shaking with anticipation – with real, palpable fear. I'd spent my last bit of ISK on this ship, if I lose it now, I'll have to go crawling back to Aura for cash. I feel as if all 1800 people in system are starting at me, their fingers poised on triggers waiting to turn me in to a pile of scrap. “Dammit stop shaking.” With my ship pointed towards safety, a quick gut check, and I grab the loot.

    They are going to start shooting any second.

    As quickly as my fumbling hands can get there – they feel like concrete blocks- I mash warp. Again, I hear incoming attacks – a shot lands, removing three quarters of my shields. I am paralyzed with fear. I see my ship's engines flair as it accelerates and another shot lands, chewing into my armor. I am terrified. I feel as if an enormous black tidal wave of angry ships is rising up behind me, about to crash down and smash me to scrap metal.

    “Am I going to get out of this? What the hell was I thinking? Maybe I should have stayed in the newbie star system.”

    Another shot and my ship howls as its hull is breached.

    And then I'm away. My Vigil, damaged and smoking, slingshots away from the horde of ships seeking to recycle it. I check my cargo hold – to my delight the loot is safely tucked away, more than enough to cover the loss of my Burst and then some. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I yell out in triumph and emphatically pound on my ship's console in celebration. Euphoria. I didn't realize I was this vested. I feel a... high?

    “I need a cigarette.”

    A few more seconds and I exit warp at a quiet, peaceful planet. My pulse slows a bit and I realize I will spend the next 14 minutes a suspect. I barely finished mentally tallying all the ISK I am going to have upon selling this loot when I see him: a silver and green wing of a ship I would learn later was used almost exclusively to shred other ships with little regard for its own safety. It looks as if it's covered entirely in guns. And he is here for me. My heart sinks, maybe I am not cut out for this.

    He is moving towards me, but I am faster than him. Much faster. I flip on my microwarp drive and smile to myself as my ship scoots safely out of his range and warps off.

    “I can't keep running like this, I need a place to lay low while this timer runs out.”

    I jump to the nearby Perimeter system, find a quiet station with no one outside, and dock up. I breathe a sigh of relief as my docking request is accepted and happily go about reviewing my loot as I watch the timer count down. When It finally reaches zero, I will shove off, back to Jita where I will sell off the loot like a criminal mastermind.

  • A Toy Amongst Giants: A Newbie's Tale. Pod and Planet Entry in EVE Communication Center

    This is my entry for the "A Day in the Life" Category. I've never done any writing before, but thought this would be fun. It is based largely on the story of my first few months in New Eden.


    I'm a drifter. I don't like other people's way of doing things and I don't like rules. I am getting antsy. I flick my half-finished cigarette butt on the station floor and lean over a star map. My name is Jalep Malukker. My last name is about the only thing I ever got from my parents and I have always managed to get by just fine on my own, thank you.

    “These missions are tiring. Aura is helpful, but she's just not my speed. I'm not making nearly enough ISK and killing rats just isn't for me. I need something else.”

    Life in the Pator Tech School can only take you so far. At this point I'm ready to break out of the mold and figure my own way to make a living in New Eden. Trouble is, the learning curve here is steep. Really steep. Newbies like me aren't supposed to be successful. We're supposed to die a lot and pay homage to the Goliaths that have been here for eons before we can hope carve out our own niche. At least, that's what I'd heard. Good thing I don't listen well. I had heard of a place... people seem to mention it a lot when talking about lots of action...

    “Jita,” I thought, surveying the map. “Where is this place and what's all the fuss about?”

    Only four days old, I hop in my Burst and set a course for the system that seems to be the epicenter of this universe. It's a long journey, through 23 star systems. Jump after jump, I watch the blur of Minmatar, then Gallente, and finally Caldari space race past. More jumps. If nothing else, the trip has been a profoundly beautiful display of nebulae, planets, and stars. Finally, bleary eyed and drained, I come out of warp at the last gate. I jump through with anticipation in my gut.

    Planets, moons, a sun – looks just like any other system to me.

    “What's the big deal?” I mutter.

    Jita IV Moon IV Caldari Navy Assembly Plant was where I was supposed to go, so I point my sturdy, if rusty, Burst towards the station and enter warp. Hopefully things will get interesting near the station. As my ship whirs down out of warp on the back side of the station, I am stunned. In awe. Never have I seen such a display, this is indeed quite unlike anything I'd ever seen. I maneuver around, observing.

    “Good God, there must be hundreds of them,” I say, almost involuntarily.

    The sheer number of ships, the mass of them, everywhere. Huge, imposing freighters bringing loads of goods to market. Massive battleships lumbering about, patrolling the area. Frigates parrying with each other in duels. Cruisers, battlecruisers, destroyers, mining barges, industrial ships. My eyes dart around, trying to take it all in at once. Not possible.

    What happens next will define the arc of my New Eden career in ways I will not understand for months. A frigate explodes a few thousand meters from me. I see its charred yellow wreck, which looks similar to those I'd seen in my military missions. I move closer and take a peek inside. I am surprised to note almost two million ISK of modules sitting in the wreck. More than I'd made in my first four days of running missions.

    “Now were talkin'.”

    Two million ISK might as well have been enough to buy the entire galaxy to me, compared to what I'd seen thus far. I was salivating at the thought of all that loot. Without a second thought – or a first one, really- I grab the loot and begin to move towards another wreck which had just popped up close by.

    “This is great! I am making money had over fist. Why hasn't anyone else thought of this?”

    Then, I hear noises. I see flashes of red. There are timers on my HUD. Why is there a yellow skull and crossbones there? My heart starts to pound inside my chest. Before I know whats going on, my ship screams at me as its shields are stripped away, red. I fumble at the controls, desperately trying to do something, anything.

    “Warp out! Warp out!” I scream, mashing the controls. My Burst lumbers slowly around, lazily finding its escape vector.”

    There are.. rockets, I think, swarming in at me from some unknown origin. Lasers too, maybe. There is so much going on. My palms are sweating. I barely notice something about a 'warp scramble attempt.' In another second or two, my Burst's armor and hull are gone and my trusty ship erupts in to a fiery explosion.

    Stunned, I float there in my tiny, vulnerable, egg of a pod, trying to figure out what just happened. Then more noises. More red. Suddenly I am starring at my own charred corpse spinning through space, as my consciousness is returned to another station. I have mail. An insurance payout for my now-destroyed Burst, and a general feeling of helplessness. My hands are still trembling.

    “I was so close to bagging that loot. I've got to figure out what went wrong and fix it.”