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Crime & Punishment

 
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Let's get Nakid
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Sergio Ling
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#1 - 2011-09-22 15:05:12 UTC  |  Edited by: Sergio Ling
my good friend Bek and I recently decided that the discerning empire-dwelling pod-pilot dies not have enough choice when it comes to extracting Mercenaric revenge on their foes. so we united, and formed Drowning Man, undisputedly the best mercenary Alliance since Seleene joined Loxyrider mining in a mothership. But enough casual namedropping, let's have a progress report.
As Ninjaturtle and his vast corporation joined our ranks, we ended our firtst contract against Fabricated Confabulations without having to resort to violence. Our next contract, one Journey Ltd., have so far been completely resistant to any kind of diplomacy, so I shall lay out the stats below for you to savour, or to ignore on your way to hitting the reply button with a doubtless erudite response.

What you'll notice is that all our kills come from one source, my excuse being I've spent the last month losing Tengus in providence/stain/delve in an attempt to raise my sec status to a more acceptable level. bring on sec/AUR concord bribrs I say. That's one microtransaction I'll wear into the ground.

I'd like to inline images, not link to them

They have been offered several standard buyout offers, some by official sources, most by enterprising alliance members trying to make a quick buck, but have always refused. I hope my contract manager will not mind me quoting his offer sent a few days ago:


Quote:
Greetings Jentoka,

My name is NinjaTurtle and I speak now as a representative of Drowning Man alliance. We are a mercenary organization; we have been paid by a player entity to wardec your corporation and fulfill several goals as demanded of us by our employer (our employer's identity and subsequent contract information is always classified). As an organization however, Drowning Man reserves the right in every contract to review the target as a whole and decide whether a buy-out offer should be made.

In this case, Drowning Man has decided that it would be prudent to offer a buy-out agreement. This agreement, upon satisfaction, would end aggression immediately and cancel the wardec. Please note, that no such agreement has been made yet. The offer is set at 300,000,000.00 (Three hundred million) isk. This is not simply an arbitrary number; this value is derived from several factors, including any necessary employer compensation for a bought contract, war fees, etc. In certain situations, the act of buying out our own contracts means we make absolutely no profit at all, yet still incur all of the associated costs. This is one of those contracts.

I will now be very frank with you Sir, as I've been the one behind all of the following claims: Over the course of the last 96 hours we've been tracking over half of your corp roster. We know where you are when you log on, we know where you like to mine, where you poop, eat and log out. We know that you are woefully under equipped to tackle 20+ years of PvP experience, and your actives are practically confined to station.

This contract has an employer option to run for an additional 3 weeks. I don't think either of us want to spend the next month in a station camp, denying you your necessary assets and us our time. Unfortunately, that is the imminent course of events in this scenario. The offer is on the table, should you wish to accept or deny it. All contract negotiations must take place through eve-mail, you may reply directly to me.

Thank you for your time, and my warmest regards,
NinjaTurtle
CC: Sergio Ling


this seems pretty reasonable, and is an offer weoften see taken up by entities we're at war with. Ask Mars Carver. He saved his people the above pain. but not Jentoka, no, Jentoka thought he was on daytime TV where the episode was called "standing up to bullies!:
Quote:
Re: On Behalf of Drowning Man
From: Jentoka
Sent: 2011.09.20 21:19
To: NinjaTurtle,

Thanks but no thanks. This war is quite stupid, and we are already putting a plan in motion that well let us out of it. We manufacture more than anything and this is something that can be done in stations with a preset clientele, so we aren't too concerned with how we will make money. As I've told Bek and Sergio, WE DO NOT RESPOND TO BULLY TACTICS. So, do what you must, but no one will see a dime from us unless it is in an honorable business purchase. With that said, I'd be happy to make a deal with you in which we could provide for you in exchange for getting out of the war.



since that exchange, haulers and barges have been exploding with quite some regularity. of course if they were to undock in a CNR, things might be different.

Apparently this war upsets them not. When our client set out his expectations for this war, 'maximum disruption' was repested fairly often


  • Public chat channel closed and not available to the public, whoit is ostensibly for.
  • anyone daring to mine gets jumped or docks/switches system (prductivity down the toilet after a week of that
  • a bigjob corp-member left without a word after losing his rigged retriever and screaming in corp about 'retards not passing on intel'


Inasmuch as Maximum disruption was asked for, it's being delivered. but don't think this post heralds an end to the war. we still have lots to give, especially now my sec is fixed and I can make my way across the Galaxy to find your mammoths.

see you soon
Nathan Jameson
Grumpy Bastards
#2 - 2011-09-22 15:15:45 UTC
This thread was worth my time.

http://www.wormholes.info
BuzzyBeagle
Centers for Intergalactic Mercantile Acquisition
#3 - 2011-09-22 15:56:09 UTC
Tea
Ell
Dee
Are
Kitty McKitty
In Praise Of Shadows
#4 - 2011-09-22 15:57:38 UTC
BuzzyBeagle wrote:
Tea
Ell
Dee
Are


They kill 6 noobs in a sanctioned war and thought they would make a long post about it in crime and punishment.

♥ Haviing your portrait painted here helps INTAKI Disabled Children ♥
Sergio Ling
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#5 - 2011-09-22 16:06:22 UTC
Kitty McKitty wrote:
BuzzyBeagle wrote:
Tea
Ell
Dee
Are


They kill 6 noobs in a sanctioned war and thought they would make a long post about it in crime and punishment.


thanks for the sumup.

Hell, we do what we're paid to do, and this time we killed some dudes, and posted. that's where the mad dollar is
Kikkoman6
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#6 - 2011-09-22 16:17:50 UTC
I kept reading, thinking that it was just a really long buildup to something funny or interesting. Then I got to the end.

Definately the most pointless thread in a long, long time.
Singeabooty Raj
Doomheim
#7 - 2011-09-22 16:37:28 UTC
THIS SAYS IT ALL

Black Man with Goggles
Kitty McKitty
In Praise Of Shadows
#8 - 2011-09-22 17:12:26 UTC
reported for not being relevant to crime and punishment.

♥ Haviing your portrait painted here helps INTAKI Disabled Children ♥
Singeabooty Raj
Doomheim
#9 - 2011-09-22 17:16:08 UTC
Huzzah

Black Man with Goggles
BuzzyBeagle
Centers for Intergalactic Mercantile Acquisition
#10 - 2011-09-22 17:25:46 UTC
Kitty McKitty wrote:
reported for not being relevant to crime and punishment.



i also reported
Singeabooty Raj
Doomheim
#11 - 2011-09-22 17:31:33 UTC
Huzzah

Black Man with Goggles
Sergio Ling
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#12 - 2011-09-22 20:29:40 UTC
Kitty McKitty wrote:
reported for not being relevant to crime and punishment.

backseat moderating, excellent. where would you suggest a report on an empire war go?
Kitty McKitty
In Praise Of Shadows
#13 - 2011-09-22 20:54:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Kitty McKitty
Warfare and tactics. The war bit being, this was a sanctioned war and not a criminal act. The tactics bit being, hurr a bunch of noobs undocked to us.

♥ Haviing your portrait painted here helps INTAKI Disabled Children ♥
valerydarcy
Doomheim
#14 - 2011-09-22 20:57:03 UTC
You ever tried running missions n that?

Post with your main™
Singeabooty Raj
Doomheim
#15 - 2011-09-22 21:05:18 UTC
Wait so the report for not being relevant to crime and punishment wasn't for the link of the woman having an accident in the jacuzzi but for the OP? I am now confused. Which is it to be?

Black Man with Goggles
FloppieTheBanjoClown
Arcana Imperii Ltd.
#16 - 2011-09-22 22:58:08 UTC
So you came here to brag that you're competent enough to kill haulers and miners who don't have enough sense to dock up when war targets come into local or run neutral scouts when they're moving goods (or better yet, use neutral miners and haulers)? That's like boasting about the squirrel I ran over yesterday.

Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.
Mikeh24
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#17 - 2011-09-22 23:07:32 UTC
Sergio Ling wrote:
Drowning Man, undisputedly the best mercenary Alliance



HAI GAIS WE KILL HAULERS!

Noir??^
Drake Draconis
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#18 - 2011-09-22 23:28:14 UTC
I'm confused...

Either this is a

"wut?"

or a

"CoolStoryBro"


I thoguth this was an advertisement...but it seems like some sort of.


Well I'm not sure really. ShockedQuestionUgh

================ STOP THE EVEMAIL SPAM! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=78152
DeliciousHamBeast
The Elenianlightenment
#19 - 2011-09-23 04:57:55 UTC
Where's the nakid?

-- Beep Beep Imma Jeep.
Cerisia
Red Phoenix Rising
#20 - 2011-09-23 07:14:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Cerisia
Came expecting boobies - left disappointed....
This space for rent..
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