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***Research Paper: Cut Throats In a Global Market***
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Henry Haphorn
Killer Yankee
#1 - 2012-02-27 19:08:35 UTC
Macroeconomics Class
Title: Cut Throats in a Global Market

I figured I would share this paper with everyone here since I am already finished with it and have turned it in. I'm still waiting on the final grade, but so far I gave a good 2-minute presentation for it and I was applauded for the work.

Reason

The reason I chose the subject is because I have delved so much into understanding the dark side of economics that I am amazed at the level of BS that goes around in the world and I also try my best to get into the mind of the masterminds behind the various cases.

Cases

There were so many cases to chose from that I had a hard time deciding which ones to include in the paper and in what order. Originally, I intended to post 5-6 unique cases but even that proved too much because the size of the paper would have been too much for the binder to hold on to. 3 unique cases were picked instead (one of which you might recognize very well).

Conclusion

Overall, I think I did very well in this, but honestly I felt I could have done better. If only there weren't so many cases to chose from (from Wallstreet's naked swindle, to the corrupt meat industry, and so on). Man, economics is a pain in the ass.

Adapt or Die
Sturmwolke
#2 - 2012-02-27 21:31:37 UTC
Honest opinion?

3 case scenarios description, and half a page of a "Conclusion" which isn't really a conclusion, more of a rhetoric.
No critical assessments done. Tbh, imo, it's a cut and paste job. How long did you spend on it?
Sidus Isaacs
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2012-02-28 10:24:01 UTC
I do not think the abstract is appropriate for a research paper. It is too subjective and personal.

I did not read teh rest.
Henry Haphorn
Killer Yankee
#4 - 2012-02-28 20:17:26 UTC
Mainly, it took me a week to put together given that I have to read various articles on 4-6 cases. The reason I felt that I should have done better is mainly because of the abstract, intro and the conclusion. The body usually turn out to be great, but it's the intro and conclusion that gets me. I even tried my best to stay as close to the APA style as possible, although I tend to lack in that too. I'll let you guys know what my instructor thinks once the grade is finalized and what his critique is.

Adapt or Die
Zindela
Aegeonix Systems
#5 - 2012-02-29 05:19:15 UTC  |  Edited by: Zindela
in the abstract, change businessmen/women to business-people, IMO. more fluid, and doesn't reek of political correctness.


also isn't cutthroat one word? according to google it can be either way, but from a speakers standpoint, cutthroat is easier to say than cut throat.


Didn't read the rest.


edit: got somewhat moderately interested and read more.

Abstract is too informal compared to the rest. In it you repeatedly use 'You will learn", but later you say, "one should see"
consistency is good.


1) Please stop using the phrase "This paper" and all such variations.

Quote:
This paper will at least start off with one of the well-known cases of the 21st century. Enter the case of Bernard Madoff.


Very wordy.
You already have a title for the section.

"One of the best known cases of the 21st century is that of Bernard Madoff." it will still flow nicely into the rest of the paragraph, and sound a bit more formal.

As for some general guidelines, my biggest issue is the statements that are in parenthesis ( like this). If it's important enough to mention, make it full sentence. If not, delete it. Obviously, leave the citations.


Ex.

Quote:
It has been noted that Charles Ponzi was not the first to utilize the idea, but the scheme does bare his name due to the lengths that this man went to swindle people of their hard-earned money (in this case, millions of dollars).



Also, you used the wrong 'bare' you want "Bear". yes, to bear something is the same as the animal. To bare something, is to get naked.

"Bear: to possess, as a quality or characteristic; have in or on:

to bear traces; to bear an inscription.

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_it_bare_the_name_or_bear_the_name#ixzz1nkJAOguP"

Citatations: don't put the location of the quote, just the author of the article.



Ended up reading the whole thing. Please, please stop using the parenthesis interjections, They make my eyes hurt.


Overall not bad. First thing is, you never show people how to avoid any of the scams, like you claim in your abstract.

My advice:

Delete your current abstract.

Re-read your paper. Take the main idea from each section.

Re-write your new abstract with the main ideas, in chronological order.
Henry Haphorn
Killer Yankee
#6 - 2012-02-29 13:43:07 UTC
Zindela wrote:
in the abstract, change businessmen/women to business-people, IMO. more fluid, and doesn't reek of political correctness.


also isn't cutthroat one word? according to google it can be either way, but from a speakers standpoint, cutthroat is easier to say than cut throat.


Didn't read the rest.


edit: got somewhat moderately interested and read more.

Abstract is too informal compared to the rest. In it you repeatedly use 'You will learn", but later you say, "one should see"
consistency is good.


1) Please stop using the phrase "This paper" and all such variations.

Quote:
This paper will at least start off with one of the well-known cases of the 21st century. Enter the case of Bernard Madoff.


Very wordy.
You already have a title for the section.

"One of the best known cases of the 21st century is that of Bernard Madoff." it will still flow nicely into the rest of the paragraph, and sound a bit more formal.

As for some general guidelines, my biggest issue is the statements that are in parenthesis ( like this). If it's important enough to mention, make it full sentence. If not, delete it. Obviously, leave the citations.


Ex.

Quote:
It has been noted that Charles Ponzi was not the first to utilize the idea, but the scheme does bare his name due to the lengths that this man went to swindle people of their hard-earned money (in this case, millions of dollars).



Also, you used the wrong 'bare' you want "Bear". yes, to bear something is the same as the animal. To bare something, is to get naked.

"Bear: to possess, as a quality or characteristic; have in or on:

to bear traces; to bear an inscription.

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_it_bare_the_name_or_bear_the_name#ixzz1nkJAOguP"

Citatations: don't put the location of the quote, just the author of the article.



Ended up reading the whole thing. Please, please stop using the parenthesis interjections, They make my eyes hurt.


Overall not bad. First thing is, you never show people how to avoid any of the scams, like you claim in your abstract.

My advice:

Delete your current abstract.

Re-read your paper. Take the main idea from each section.

Re-write your new abstract with the main ideas, in chronological order.


Thanks for the critique there. I never knew about the whole bare vs. bear thing. I guess I gotta start questioning my high school teachers from years past.

I'm expected to write a new research paper once I get started with Microeconomics, which will be later in the year as my university doesn't have it scheduled for the Miami campus this coming semester. I'll take your suggestions into consideration next time as I find this to be the most illuminating.

In case any of you are curious, I'm studying to be a career pilot at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University and I just got started. Now, how macro or microeconomics have anything to do with flying is something I always wondered. Perhaps this is something meant for pilots that want to start their own business one day and need a proper understanding on how vastly complex economics is.

Adapt or Die
Zindela
Aegeonix Systems
#7 - 2012-02-29 17:39:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Zindela
I actually have a very good friend in his 2nd year at Embry-Riddle. he's studying aerospace engineering though, at the Prescott campus.
Selinate
#8 - 2012-03-01 03:57:01 UTC
I'd try to give advice, but writing papers is the one type of assignment that I've never been able to excel in in college....