Crime & Punishment

Logging into eve right after downtime, a scout spots a machariel jumping into our lowsec home! We're still groggy from our 30 minute nap and actually managed to lose him.

After we have given up our search, we form up a roam and poke around the area for about an hour before heading to the Promised Land... where our scout Cheetah spots the very same machariel in the Promised Land system.

And many many wrecks on dscan! The Cheetah pilot drops probes gets a solid 100% signature, warping in bravely and tackling the Machariel while his 3 man fleet jumps into the system.

The Cheetah barely escapes with his ship after the fleet arrives and gets secondary points (ratters dont point!), but in a fit of panic he had warped himself down to a stargate where he was unable to jump due to aggression, and was destroyed by the gate turrets. His pod jumps through and keeps an eye out for anyone who might want to disrupt our little gangbang.

We ransom the Machariel, 1billion... but he doesnt have it... he sends 235mil instead? WHAT KIND OF INSULT?! does he not notice the monocle?

But just wait... +1 local! .... a caracal? is he bringing a cyno? The caracal lands and we gank it... and he drops FACTION LOOT?! Well geez, this machariel must be fuckin loaded if they fit faction on their caracals!

... Meanwhile, back in Central Point,, the cheetah pilot spots a Retribution who lands on the gate... and tries to shoot the poor cheetah's pod! The pod jumps the gate just in time to watch the gate turrets destroy the Retribution! Karmic Revenge!

We try to convince the machariel pilot to eject in exchange for his money back, and during the negotiations the caracal pilot returns... this time in a Hoarder? The hoarder lands right on the machariel and ejects a can full of 800 Cap Boosters?! The **** is going on here?

We conclude these guys have no cyno backup, but we do! Up goes our cyno and in comes the party! We whore a bunch of carriers, and other subcaps who were in the area onto the killmail just as he tries and fails to initiate self-destruct

Tech1 fit?! These guys must have come from a wormhole straight from the Twilight Zone.

Well, that was fun! Set destination home...

Err... whats this? the caracal pilot is back again?? A RAVEN? ON THE GATE?! WAT?!


The Promised Land indeed.


http://unprovokedaggression.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12582383 Caracal
http://unprovokedaggression.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12582302 Hoarder
http://unprovokedaggression.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12582305 Machariel
http://unprovokedaggression.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12582358 Raven

Another useful post! Thank you for the bump!

Don't worry, dude. The only thing anybody ever posts are trolling attempts. I liked your story, as its better than the raft of useless BS on here.

I AM MAD BROSEPHINE

came expecting a story about the plight of the Jews

left dissapointed

Well done!

KILL THE FREAKY AVATAR WITH FIRE

Sounds like you had some good fun, and a wealthy and incredibly stupid target. Nice bit of luck there! Also lol on the Retribution dying to gate guns...

And I bet he was surprised to see his quintuple-stabbed Raven go down... ha ha

Cool story bro. You guys needed 3 Carriers and a SC + T3 and ECM support to kill a T1 fitted Mach? I would've been embarrassed to post that. I'm sure it gave you a chubby, though.