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[Proposal] The next EVE expansion is to be called Heart Of The Swarm

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Krios Ahzek
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#1 - 2012-02-10 06:46:09 UTC
Goonswarm Federation is the source of nearly all player-made content. The next expansion should celebrate this fact in the following ways:

-Add special Goonswarm rats (rifters that drop scammed ISK) to the belts in systems owned by our reds. These rats tackle and also spam local with obnoxious copy-pasted ASCII art until they are killed.

-Add Goon mission agents to our stations. The missions include ganking NPC miners. Courier missions are replaced with forum missions on the official EVE Online forums. Non-Goons may run the missions at their own risk, but it is possible to buy acceptance into NPC Goonswarm (a corporation subservient to the real GoonSwarm) with sufficient LP points.

-All Goon players should have a rat bounty equivalent to their medical clone cost. This is impossible to exploit since the ISK comes from the Goon who dies.

-Have important NPCs recognize The Mittani as a story-relevant character and Goonswarm as an entity that rivals the might of the empires. Hire The Mittani as a full time CCP employee to let him focus on creating live events for the others players of EVE.

-While we're at it, hire GMs to play the various rulers and officers of the Empires and pirate faction leaders so that we may all become massive LARPers.

-Let Goonswarm Federation brofist Sansha Kuvakei in-universe so that we may borrow his incursion machine (wormhole portal + remote cynojammer) in order to create PVP content anywhere in the universe.

-This expansion shall include Band Of Brothers, lead by a returning veteran, SirMolle, who is also to be hired as a full time CCP employee. His office in CCP HQ is to be placed exactly next door to The Mittani's.

-Pandemic Legion is to be added as a pirate mercenary faction. They can be hired at auction (for ISK and LP) to attack a sovholding alliance. Once hired, they shall form roaming fleets of faction rats (T2,T3, supercaps, AFK cloakers) in the target's space.

If you do not support this expansion, you are against fun.

 Though All Men Do Despise Us
Samillian
Angry Mustellid
#2 - 2012-02-10 11:12:57 UTC
Warning: Ego on overload.

NBSI shall be the whole of the Law
Akrasjel Lanate
Immemorial Coalescence Administration
Immemorial Coalescence
#3 - 2012-02-10 13:19:06 UTC
No Straight

CEO of Lanate Industries

Citizen of Solitude
Drake Draconis
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#4 - 2012-02-10 15:16:39 UTC
Krios Ahzek wrote:
crap



I know you guys like to troll...but this is would embarrass even me.

================ STOP THE EVEMAIL SPAM! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=78152
Vaurion Infara
Doomheim
#5 - 2012-02-10 16:21:21 UTC
Just stop posting Krios. No one cares.

this is it
Sephiroth Clone VII
Brothers of Tyr
Goonswarm Federation
#6 - 2012-02-10 19:58:49 UTC
forum missions are the best missions. I can play the game and not have to login
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
#7 - 2012-02-11 08:10:58 UTC
Heart of the swarm is too StarCraft.

Signature removed for inappropriate language - CCP Eterne
Plutonian
Intransigent
#8 - 2012-02-11 08:26:31 UTC
Krios Ahzek wrote:
-Add special Goonswarm rats (rifters that drop scammed ISK) to the belts in systems owned by our reds.

Rats never utilize Rifters. Although why, I cannot fathom.

You'd think by now the Angels at least would say, "You know... that's a sturdy little ship. Maybe we should get some."
Il Feytid
State War Academy
Caldari State
#9 - 2012-02-11 08:57:11 UTC
You're an embarrassment even to the goons. Straight
Smiling Menace
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#10 - 2012-02-11 09:48:59 UTC
LMAO! You guys just have no sense of humour. Lol

As much fun (and mayhem) would ensue from such an expansion, I'd have to say not supported.
Katalci
Kismesis
#11 - 2012-02-12 04:21:30 UTC  |  Edited by: Katalci
Krios Ahzek wrote:

-Add Goon mission agents. The missions include ganking miners.

-Roaming fleets of rats (T2,T3)

"You successfully salvage from the Goonswarm Shiptoast Wreck."

Missions where the completion requirement is an exhumer killmail would be both fun and hilarious.

Roaming sleeper-AI rats that don't show up in local would just be funny.
Tidurious
Blatant Alt Corp
#12 - 2012-02-13 21:37:42 UTC
Lol, only if I can have goon agents in my hisec NPC stations that direct me to destroy the evil Mackinaws ice mining in Abudban... And give me a 30m payout for each KM :)
Della Monk
Monastery of Drakes
#13 - 2012-02-14 10:11:09 UTC
Feasibility aside, incorporating the major player powers into the lore on at least a cursory level would be pretty neat, yeah.
Also Chairman Mittens x Empress Jamyl celebrity couple of the year.
Vertisce Soritenshi
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#14 - 2012-02-14 13:56:16 UTC
Normally I am opposed to one word answers in Assembly Hall but...

No.

Bounties for all! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=2279821#post2279821
Killer Gandry
The Concilium Enterprises
#15 - 2012-02-14 14:19:14 UTC
Only thing a Goon NPC can drop is gamecredebility.
Corniel Azizora
Yukama Industries
#16 - 2012-02-16 02:39:35 UTC
Being part of " the source of nearly all player-made content " (note the quotes) won't allow special treatment from CCP as there is no inssurence that tomorrow it will be still standing, puting together your big ego and lack of general vision, I do believe this is a bad idea.
Tanya Powers
Doomheim
#17 - 2012-02-17 20:47:07 UTC
Krios Ahzek wrote:
Goonswarm Federation is the source of nearly all player-made content. The next expansion should celebrate this fact in the following ways:

-Add special Goonswarm rats (rifters that drop scammed ISK) to the belts in systems owned by our reds. These rats tackle and also spam local with obnoxious copy-pasted ASCII art until they are killed.

-Add Goon mission agents to our stations. The missions include ganking NPC miners. Courier missions are replaced with forum missions on the official EVE Online forums. Non-Goons may run the missions at their own risk, but it is possible to buy acceptance into NPC Goonswarm (a corporation subservient to the real GoonSwarm) with sufficient LP points.

-All Goon players should have a rat bounty equivalent to their medical clone cost. This is impossible to exploit since the ISK comes from the Goon who dies.

-Have important NPCs recognize The Mittani as a story-relevant character and Goonswarm as an entity that rivals the might of the empires. Hire The Mittani as a full time CCP employee to let him focus on creating live events for the others players of EVE.

-While we're at it, hire GMs to play the various rulers and officers of the Empires and pirate faction leaders so that we may all become massive LARPers.

-Let Goonswarm Federation brofist Sansha Kuvakei in-universe so that we may borrow his incursion machine (wormhole portal + remote cynojammer) in order to create PVP content anywhere in the universe.

-This expansion shall include Band Of Brothers, lead by a returning veteran, SirMolle, who is also to be hired as a full time CCP employee. His office in CCP HQ is to be placed exactly next door to The Mittani's.

-Pandemic Legion is to be added as a pirate mercenary faction. They can be hired at auction (for ISK and LP) to attack a sovholding alliance. Once hired, they shall form roaming fleets of faction rats (T2,T3, supercaps, AFK cloakers) in the target's space.

If you do not support this expansion, you are against fun.



I just had a great reading of this and lols (still laughing now thinking about rats spaming local)

Just because it's really funny +1
Lyrrashae
Hellstar Towing and Recovery
#18 - 2012-02-19 04:56:29 UTC
You guys are really getting desperate, aren't you.

Yes, I have a sense of humour--though most "normal" people find it just a bit too black for their liking--but you lot just aren't funny anymoreUgh

Ni.