EVE Fiction

Ok, so i got the basic plot sorted, i wondered if you fiction writers out there had any tips

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The galaxy is in a state of civil war. Spies for the Caldari have stolen plans to the Sansha Empire's Death Cube, a weaponized space station capable of annihilating an entire planet. Rebel leader Princess Peach is in possession of the plans, but her ship is captured by Sansha forces under the command of the evil lord Milhouse Van Houten. Before she is captured, Princess Peach hides the plans in the memory of a droid called Johnny 5, along with a holographic recording. The small droid escapes to the surface of the desert planet Mexico with fellow droid WALL-E.

The droids are quickly captured by station traders, who sell the pair to asteroid belt farmers James T Kirk and Katheryne Janeway and their nephew, Jean Luc Picard. While Picard is cleaning Johnny 5, he accidentally triggers part of Princess Peach's holographic message, in which she requests help from Kim Jong-il. The only "Kim" Picard knows of is an old hermit named Mr Kim who lives in the nearby hills. The next morning, upon finding Johnny 5 after he escapes to seek Kim Jong-il, Picard meets Mr Kim, revealing himself to be Kim Jong-il. Kim Jong-il tells Picard of his days as an incursion runner, one of a faction of former galactic peacekeepers who were wiped out by the Sansha. Contrary to his uncle's claims, Picard learns that his father Benjamin Sisko fought alongside Obi-Wan as a carebear before he was betrayed and killed by Milhouse Van Houten, Kim Jong-il's former pupil who turned "negative ten".

Kim Jong-il views Princess Peach's complete message in which she begs Kim Jong-il to take the Death Cube plans to her home planet of Canada for her father to retrieve and analyze. He then asks Picard to accompany him and learn the ways of the Incursion. Picard initially refuses, but changes his mind after discovering that Sansha stormtroopers have destroyed his home and killed his aunt and uncle in search of Johnny 5 and WALL-E. Kim Jong-il and Picard hire smuggler CCP Tuxford and his Wookiee co-pilot Chribba to transport them on their ship, the Veldnought.

Upon the Veldnought's arrival at Canada, they find that it has been destroyed under the orders of the Death Cube's commanding officer Jackie Chan to demonstrate the Death Cube's power. The Veldnought is caught by the nearby Death Cube's tractor beam and brought into its hangar bay. While Kim Jong-il goes off to disable the tractor beam, Picard discovers that Princess Peach is imprisoned on board and, with the help of CCP Tuxford and Chribba, rescues her. After several harrowing escapes, they make their way back to the Veldnought, though Kim Jong-il is killed in a Mind Clash duel with Milhouse Van Houten. The Veldnought escapes the Death Cube but, unknown to everyone on board, the Sansha has placed a tracking device on the ship to follow them to the rebels' hidden base on Jita IV.

The rebels analyze the Death Cube plans, disclosing a vulnerable exhaust port leading to the station's main reactor. Picard joins the assault team, but CCP Tuxford collects his reward for the rescue and leaves despite Picard's request for him to stay. The Caldari rebels suffer heavy losses after several failed attack runs, leaving Picard one of the few surviving pilots. Milhouse Van Houten appears in a group of Electronic Attack Ships and attacks Picard, but CCP Tuxford returns in the Veldnought and fires at Milhouse Van Houten's wingmen, sending Milhouse's ship careening into space. Guided by Kim Jong-il's voice telling him to use the target painter, Picard successfully fires into the exhaust port, destroying the Death Cube seconds before it can fire on the Caldari rebel base. Picard and CCP Tuxford are subsequently awarded medals by Princess Peach for their heroism.

Can I be the Deathcube Horde Queen? I can make all of the collective of clone pods do...oh wai.....nvmd...

Suggestions:

Make a few new plot twists to keep it at least mildly original. And change the names of everything (except the EVE stuff).
Also, put in some TRON references, will ya? The universe is just a Quantum Computer, afterall. And by TRON, I mean TRON Legacy.

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Also, I have a new explanation as to 'why' the universe was created. God didn't create it for "Why", but for "Why Not".

No, I bet the former.

You don't even once upon a time in a galaxy far far away?

I am dissapoint :(

I recognized Star Wars and the Star Trek references in there, as well as the Mario reference and just about every single one that was in there.

Quite enjoyable. Rather like it.