Intergalactic Summit

Amazing news reached Gutter Press about a riot in Caille as an image of the Empress appeared in a heated bread product in one of the ethnically mixed neighbourhoods.

Incredible!

An eyewitness to the events in the area occasionally called "Little Dam-Torsad" due to the number of ethnic Amarrians who make up a sizeable proportion of the residents gave the following account:

"I was on my way to the bakery for my morning rolls, as you just cant beat freshly baked bread, whereupon the baker exclaimed that the bread product he had just taken out of the oven had an image of the Empress on it. I was astounded!"

Sensational!

The bread product was put on display at the bakery, but not all local residents were pleased, and later in the day some of them protested outside the bakery!

"We don't like this Amarrian triumphalist shenanigans" said another local resident, an ethnic Minmatar.

As the day progressed, the situation deteriorated until the early evening, when someone fired the first shots.

"It was terrifying" said one woman. "the angry youths had previously just been throwing stones, then someone brought a laser pistol out"

Federal police then moved in to round up troublemakers, arresting dozens.

Amazing!

"What has it come to, when you can't even have a miracle without people complaining about it ?" said one man.

"Bread likenesses of the Empress? That sounds actually quite yummy" said another.

Gutter Press examined the bread product and it did indeed have an image that resembled the Empress.

Don't buy that bread, it can implode into a black hole anytime.

I saw Heth in a muffin I had the other day, but I ate him.

HaHA!

More Quafe from the Quafe factories. More interceptors from Duvolle. More posturing from politicians.

Or, to put it another way, is there something unexpected about bullshit from something called 'Gutter Press'?

I bet I'd look better on bread than the Empress.

I take it with such publicity and people clamouring to see it, this Sarum bread managed to rise to the occasion?

That said maybe they should take it to the Empress herself, I'm sure she's heard of it already and thus it kneads no introduction.

Ok I'm leaven now before I run out of good puns, all the bad ones are rather seedy and that's when the act gets stale. Sadly, that sort of humour doesn't settle well with the upper crust of society, they get quite sour and think I'm just loafing around.

Boy, all these bread puns, I'm on a roll.






Edit: Ok I can't resist, if it's a bread with an image of Sarum in it, did it come with some nice buns?

Now I must go before someone takes offence. If they hit me with an Amarrian pulse laser well..... I'm toast.

Oh, my word:

Someone really needs to get a sense of humour...

You got me there.

Tattooed on minmatar slaves' bodies. They'll see the Empress' reflection when drinking water from the trough and think "me batar no eats lot. me too fat. me werk fastar must loose wait". Their resell value will increase considerably. Who wouldn't want to buy slaves that work more and eat less?