Intergalactic Summit

Mr. Nauplius;

I have been retained as a commissioned broker to represent a multinational organization aligned with Amrr and Caldari loyalist interests. In light of the recent hostilities inflicted upon you and your temple by scofflaws and liberal extremists, my clients would like to offer you one (1) Astrahus-type Upwell Consortium citadel (hereafter referred to as 'the facility'), fully fitted, in position above any of the ethnic homeworlds or other high-security location of your choice. You will be granted full control over docking rights and the vulnerability timer for the facility, in order to allow it to serve as a missionary platform for your faith.

Additionally, saturation-level blanket advertisements on baseliner media will be provided in the immediate star system and neighboring systems, to a distance of five (5) jumps. Additional baseliner advertising will be available for more distant markets, should demand be sufficient to warrant such expansion.

This offer is contingent upon your agreement to the following stipulations:

1. The location of the facility will not be given out to any capsuleer, or disclosed in general on any capsuleer-accessible media such as the IGS. This includes, but is not limited to, revealing the system name, planetary position, or giving hints, clues, inferences, or images that might allow for the location to be discovered.

2. The name of the holding corporation, as well as the identities of all corporation members and officers, will likewise not be given out to any capsuleer, nor disclosed on any capsuleer-accessible media.

3. The facility will, during its time of operation, be the sole focus of missionary efforts for 'Naupliusism'. No other facilities for missionary work, demon-summoning, or other religious activities related to 'Naupliusism' shall be erected or operated while this facility is in operation. In addition, no slaving, slave trading, or other slave-related activities or activities related to 'Naupliusism' shall be undertaken outside of the facility.

In the event that any of these conditions are not met, the facility will immediately be taken offline and dismantled. In addition, should either party be shown to be in violation of this agreement once enacted, the agreement shall immediately be considered void, and a standard Breach of Contract penalty not less than two billion ISK (2bn ISK) and not exceeding five billion ISK (5bn ISK) shall be paid by the violating party.

I await your reply.

Don't do it Mister Nauplius! It's a trap! A ruse!

Plus, Miss Midular is a Minmatar. And the only kind of relation you have with Minmatar is as refreshment drinks.

Considering one of the stipulations has to do with keeping the citadel information off of public platforms, I find myself wondering why this was posted here in the first place. Would it not have made more sense to simply mail him?

Ah, my question was meant to be rhetorical. I suppose I need practice at conveying that better.

The grammar's actually decent, so I assume the 'liberal extremist' dog whistle is just a convenient thing.

As to the rest, I'm fascinated by the idea that this brand-new pilot represents a broad coalition of Amarr and Caldari loyalists.

The notion that we're somehow "scofflaws," though. If it's not Mr. Horn, it's someone playing the same tune. Mr. Nauplius himself hasn't seemed all that worried about the legalities, rhetorically or otherwise.

What a cute little socio-psych experiment.

This fellow. Recently, he's been trying to play the part of reasonable capsuleer while offering to beat prisoners in basements, accusing others of genocide and extremism while trying to preserve Nauplius's facility, aaand... well, that's about it. There's the occasional bout of 'Heil Heth,' whatever that means.

Just for the record, no true Caldari Patriot would EVER offer to help some jaijii spread a foreign religion within Caldari space.

Probably. And Pieter, my money'd be on 'money'. There's never any shortage of corporatist whores in any of the Empires.