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The downside of alpha clones
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Alessienne Ellecon
Doomheim
#1 - 2017-05-16 04:36:24 UTC
It's not the skill restrictions, or the inability to cloak. It's the number of halfwits flooding starter corp chat going 'HURR DURR HOW I SHOT ENEMIE'. Seriously, I had some guy ask how to load ammo into his turrets.


I know EVE has a steep learning curve, but come on! Fiddle around with things and figure the basic stuff out for yourself. I never had to ask how to fit mods onto a ship (inb4 badfits, shut up) or how to undock or load ammo or anything like that, I used the brain I was born with and FIGURED THINGS OUT. Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.

"CONCORD are the space cops. If you attack someone in a high-security solar system, CONCORD will commit police brutality." - Encyclopedia Dramatica

If EVE is a PvP game, then Anti-Ganking is emergent gameplay.
Frisky LaDouche
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#2 - 2017-05-16 04:51:25 UTC
I will let someone else come along and explain in more flowery terms what I mean to say... because you are bit of a douche for complaining about new players asking for help in the beginner channel. I am sure there is a more diplomatic and kind way to say that, but I am neither diplomatic or kind.... so, yeah.
Coralas
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2017-05-16 04:57:03 UTC
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
It's not the skill restrictions, or the inability to cloak. It's the number of halfwits flooding starter corp chat going 'HURR DURR HOW I SHOT ENEMIE'. Seriously, I had some guy ask how to load ammo into his turrets.


I know EVE has a steep learning curve, but come on! Fiddle around with things and figure the basic stuff out for yourself. I never had to ask how to fit mods onto a ship (inb4 badfits, shut up) or how to undock or load ammo or anything like that, I used the brain I was born with and FIGURED THINGS OUT. Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.


Don't be in newbie corps if you can't handle the presence of newbies, and to be honest, they've always asked those kinds of questions, and its a good thing some of us are more patient with it than you are.

Ammunition in this game is confusing, it has irrelevant stats on it, and people start with civvie weapons that don't need ammo.
Tanuki Kittybeta
Ripperoni in Pepperoni
#4 - 2017-05-16 05:07:15 UTC
op y r u so mean

also how do i mine for fish
Falken Falcon
#5 - 2017-05-16 05:41:51 UTC
How do I warp to something?

Aye, Sea Turtles
Eternus8lux8lucis
Guardians of the Gate
RAZOR Alliance
#6 - 2017-05-16 05:49:18 UTC
Aura says my capacitor is empty!! How do I fill it back up?!?!What?

Have you heard anything I've said?

You said it's all circling the drain, the whole universe. Right?

That's right.

Had to end sometime.
Noragen Neirfallas
Emotional Net Loss
#7 - 2017-05-16 05:51:27 UTC
Guys please help me I can't find my Peon

Member and Judge of the Court of Crime and Punishment

Noragens basically the Chribba of C&P - Zimmy Zeta

Confirming that we all play in Noragen's eve. - BeBopAReBop

ISD Buldath favorite ISD

'"****station games" - Sun Tzu' - Ralph King Griffin
Nana Skalski
Taisaanat Kotei
EDENCOM DEFENSIVE INITIATIVE
#8 - 2017-05-16 06:42:15 UTC  |  Edited by: Nana Skalski
Shallanna Yassavi
qwertz corp
#9 - 2017-05-16 07:32:03 UTC
Frisky LaDouche wrote:
I will let someone else come along and explain in more flowery terms what I mean to say... because you are bit of a douche for complaining about new players asking for help in the beginner channel. I am sure there is a more diplomatic and kind way to say that, but I am neither diplomatic or kind.... so, yeah.

Name checks out?

A signature :o
Linus Gorp
Ministry of Propaganda and Morale
#10 - 2017-05-16 07:35:08 UTC
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.

But that's what those people need. 24/7 handholding because they're incapable of emitting intelligence or thinking for themselves. This applies to well over 80% of the human race by now, and it's rising.

When you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're, you come across as being so uneducated that your viewpoint can be safely dismissed. The literate is unlikely to learn much from the illiterate.
Ashiri Hareka
Paper Cats
#11 - 2017-05-16 10:53:06 UTC
And OP, are you so sure you didn't say and do silly things when you were new?

IIRC...
Magnus Jax
#12 - 2017-05-16 11:13:11 UTC  |  Edited by: Magnus Jax
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
It's not the skill restrictions, or the inability to cloak. It's the number of halfwits flooding starter corp chat going 'HURR DURR HOW I SHOT ENEMIE'. Seriously, I had some guy ask how to load ammo into his turrets.


I know EVE has a steep learning curve, but come on! Fiddle around with things and figure the basic stuff out for yourself. I never had to ask how to fit mods onto a ship (inb4 badfits, shut up) or how to undock or load ammo or anything like that, I used the brain I was born with and FIGURED THINGS OUT. Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.


You're right, there are a lot of stupid people and there's a lot of lazy people as well. Here's 3 indications of massive stupidity:

1) not being able to use someone else's (a newbie in this case) perspective

2) not realising that EVE's UI is, at best, different from other MMOs and doesn't necessarily make logical sense to people who have only played mainstream games or MMOs

3 not realising that there's zero difference between the old trial newbies and the new alpha newbies, in this regard



Thank you for voicing your opinions, showing us actual stupidity.
Nana Skalski
Taisaanat Kotei
EDENCOM DEFENSIVE INITIATIVE
#13 - 2017-05-16 11:22:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Nana Skalski
Yeah, maybe some older uncle Noah had his first computer for 85 birthday and his son installed EVE for him. And he even dont know how to execute "drag and drop" technique.

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴀ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘs ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴀ sᴛᴏʀʏ 📕

ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴀɴɢʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴏʀᴅ ɢᴜʏ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ

ᴏsᴘʀᴇʏ 🚀

≡⋁≡ ♥
Yang Aurilen
State War Academy
Caldari State
#14 - 2017-05-16 11:24:47 UTC
How do I shot web OP?

Post with your NPC alt main and not your main main alt!
Magnus Jax
#15 - 2017-05-16 11:42:01 UTC
P.S. I had a quick glance at your KB.










You should probably stop pointing fingers at others for being clueless. The fits and losses are hilarious.
Alessienne Ellecon
Doomheim
#16 - 2017-05-16 13:53:33 UTC  |  Edited by: Alessienne Ellecon
Linus Gorp wrote:
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.

But that's what those people need. 24/7 handholding because they're incapable of emitting intelligence or thinking for themselves. This applies to well over 80% of the human race by now, and it's rising.


I've seen some intelligent noobs who could figure out EVE pretty well. The rest, well, still haven't figured out how they shot web. A lot of the time they're simply not paying attention.

@Ashiri Hareka: There's saying and doing stupid things, and then there's just being an utter doofus who can't pour urine out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

@Magnus Jax: Notice how I said shut up about badfits?


Bottom line: if you can't figure out how to do the simplest things in this game without constant handholding, you need to go play Hello Kitty Adventure Island or something because you are clearly not cut out for EVE. CCP and sundry individuals have made it quite clear on many occasions that the EVE newbie experience boils down to "welcome to EVE, here's a ship, go **** yourself." Starter corp members don't necessarily HAVE to help new players; they do so out of the kindness of their hearts and are under absolutely no obligation to babysit Captain Herpyderp who can't tell the difference between a railgun and a laser.

"CONCORD are the space cops. If you attack someone in a high-security solar system, CONCORD will commit police brutality." - Encyclopedia Dramatica

If EVE is a PvP game, then Anti-Ganking is emergent gameplay.
Jenn aSide
Worthless Carebears
The Initiative.
#17 - 2017-05-16 14:20:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Jenn aSide
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
It's not the skill restrictions, or the inability to cloak. It's the number of halfwits flooding starter corp chat going 'HURR DURR HOW I SHOT ENEMIE'. Seriously, I had some guy ask how to load ammo into his turrets.


I know EVE has a steep learning curve, but come on! Fiddle around with things and figure the basic stuff out for yourself. I never had to ask how to fit mods onto a ship (inb4 badfits, shut up) or how to undock or load ammo or anything like that, I used the brain I was born with and FIGURED THINGS OUT. Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.


That's what free to play brings, people who , for some reason, are so afraid of failure than experimenting with things to see how they work is asking too much. This is why the whole free to play experiment failed, EVE is no bigger now than it was before, despite the fact that people claimed FOR YEARS that making the game free to play would bring in so many 'new players'.

The vast majority of those alphas asking for help won't stay past the tutorial, because EVE is the kind of game where you HAVE to be a natural self-starting type to enjoy it. Many people (including CCP, who have invested years trying to figure out a NPE experience, mostly in vain) cannot understand this.

They think that if you 'teach people the basic mechanics, they will go out there and learn the rest on their own'. This is simply untrue, the kind of person who NEEDS to be taught the mechanics 1st is the same kind of person who will always need some kind of guidance. This is true of human beings in every setting, not just games.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Likewise you can make EVE Online free to play but you will never ever get most gamers (who are themepark types) to enjoy a formless free for all / do it yourself type gameworld.
Jenn aSide
Worthless Carebears
The Initiative.
#18 - 2017-05-16 14:26:23 UTC
Magnus Jax wrote:
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
It's not the skill restrictions, or the inability to cloak. It's the number of halfwits flooding starter corp chat going 'HURR DURR HOW I SHOT ENEMIE'. Seriously, I had some guy ask how to load ammo into his turrets.


I know EVE has a steep learning curve, but come on! Fiddle around with things and figure the basic stuff out for yourself. I never had to ask how to fit mods onto a ship (inb4 badfits, shut up) or how to undock or load ammo or anything like that, I used the brain I was born with and FIGURED THINGS OUT. Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.


You're right, there are a lot of stupid people and there's a lot of lazy people as well. Here's 3 indications of massive stupidity:

1) not being able to use someone else's (a newbie in this case) perspective

2) not realising that EVE's UI is, at best, different from other MMOs and doesn't necessarily make logical sense to people who have only played mainstream games or MMOs

3 not realising that there's zero difference between the old trial newbies and the new alpha newbies, in this regard



Thank you for voicing your opinions, showing us actual stupidity.


The stupidity is failing to realize that the vast majority of those people in starter corps asking every imaginable question rather than trying things out for themselves are, in fact, human adults (and mostly male) who should be able to figure some things out on their own and then asking pertinent questions about things after they've done this.

A few weeks ago while changing corps I spent a few hours in NPC corps (not even noob corps, regular npc corps) and the amount of helplessness, anguish and crying was astounding to me. How do these people dress themselves in the morning?

The worst part is that most of those clueless Alphas have the right to vote in whatever country they are in....
Alessienne Ellecon
Doomheim
#19 - 2017-05-16 14:34:38 UTC
Jenn aSide wrote:
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
It's not the skill restrictions, or the inability to cloak. It's the number of halfwits flooding starter corp chat going 'HURR DURR HOW I SHOT ENEMIE'. Seriously, I had some guy ask how to load ammo into his turrets.


I know EVE has a steep learning curve, but come on! Fiddle around with things and figure the basic stuff out for yourself. I never had to ask how to fit mods onto a ship (inb4 badfits, shut up) or how to undock or load ammo or anything like that, I used the brain I was born with and FIGURED THINGS OUT. Starter corps are there to help you, not hold your friggin' hand.


That's what free to play brings, people who , for some reason, are so afraid of failure than experimenting with things to see how they work is asking too much. This is why the whole free to play experiment failed, EVE is no bigger now than it was before, despite the fact that people claimed FOR YEARS that making the game free to play would bring in so many 'new players'.

The vast majority of those alphas asking for help won't stay past the tutorial, because EVE is the kind of game where you HAVE to be a natural self-starting type to enjoy it. Many people (including CCP, who have invested years trying to figure out a NPE experience, mostly in vain) cannot understand this.

They think that if you 'teach people the basic mechanics, they will go out there and learn the rest on their own'. This is simply untrue, the kind of person who NEEDS to be taught the mechanics 1st is the same kind of person who will always need some kind of guidance. This is true of human beings in every setting, not just games.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Likewise you can make EVE Online free to play but you will never ever get most gamers (who are themepark types) to enjoy a formless free for all / do it yourself type gameworld.


You're not entirely correct. Not all of the noobs are clueless (which is what I've been trying to say all along before the indignant screeching started) and other players have come back to their long-dormant accounts to have another go. F2P hasn't been a complete failure, it's just that the clueless Alphas are the biggest downside of that feature.

"CONCORD are the space cops. If you attack someone in a high-security solar system, CONCORD will commit police brutality." - Encyclopedia Dramatica

If EVE is a PvP game, then Anti-Ganking is emergent gameplay.
Joey Bags
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#20 - 2017-05-16 15:02:39 UTC  |  Edited by: Joey Bags
A few things about the "clueless" Alphas asking really basic questions.
1. It is probably their first day more likely than not their first hour playing EvE. There is a lot to take in and honestly some of the UI is counterintuitive to the way most other games are played.
2. They will do one of two things. Figure out the basics or quit - most quit.
3. If they stick it out for a while and decide this game is for them, they will probably PLEX their account and become a regular player.

Once they are playing for a few years they will only ask questions of things they haven't done before or do often. Like me asking how to copy bookmarks. Every. Damn. Time.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose. Unless you podded them...and collected their corpse.
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