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Dev Blog: A New Deployable From The Upwell Consortium

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Jean Paul Guillotine
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#61 - 2017-04-02 03:27:05 UTC
So what kind of warranty does this corpse juicer come with?

All I'm saying is the meat grinder we use at JitaBurgers chokes on those cheap-ass Zor implants like you wouldn't believe! Aw, cmon- you know it aint cow! When's the last time you seen a cow in New Eden?

Seriously.

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you... Then we're probably related.
guigui lechat
the no fock given
#62 - 2017-04-02 04:57:21 UTC
guys. Salt and cries to give boosts. That's really cute !!!
Alexander Locke
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#63 - 2017-04-02 05:08:11 UTC
"Are you classified as human?"
"Negative, I am a Meat Popsicle."
- Corbin Dallas, The 5th Element


Damn You CCP!

For once, I thought you really had a good idea there. FINALLY something I could use to get my Soylent production under way, but NOOOOO! You had to go joking around! Fine! I will start leaving a pile of stinky, rotting biomass at your doorstep until you get serious!

The Dread Pirate Nerf
Maenth
The Thirteen Provinces
#64 - 2017-04-02 11:36:48 UTC
@CCP: Can you just make it real anyway? Even if the boosters aren't that much stronger, balance the materials, but make it real anyway, because it would be as funny as this for the fact that it's real ... except it wouldn't be a joke and it wouldn't go away. Just another wonderful thing in New Eden! Lol

Drones. Drones are a means to an end. An end to the ruthless Caldari 'progress' machines. An end to the barbaric 'redemption' proposed by the Amarr. What they see as chaos shall be my perfect order, merely beyond their comprehension.
Pepe LaPhroaig
Insane Detail
#65 - 2017-04-02 13:30:42 UTC
Think you may be devaluating the market for exotic dancers when you announced their actually dressed up bum’s.
I’m gonna get rid of mine right away. :D
The Economist
Logically Consistent
#66 - 2017-04-02 13:40:46 UTC
April fool's Pr1ck teases!

This is one of the best ideas you guys have had in years and it has to be relegated to an april fools......really?

Can you just tweak the booster numbers to not be ******** (or produce another item or something) and implement this? It would nicely compliment the corpse bays on the blood raider caps and satisfy those of us that have been longing for something to do with corpses and some of those trade goods since launch!!

This is a really really really awesome idea. Modify it and make it happen; CCPlease!
Pavlakakos
W.A.S.P
Curatores Veritatis Alliance
#67 - 2017-04-02 14:15:52 UTC
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Lacrimix. LolLolLol

Can't see my monitor now from the tears. Big smile
Beta Maoye
#68 - 2017-04-02 20:15:19 UTC
TLDR: No, we will not make Corpse Mobile Tractor Unit.
Daniel VonDerDerp
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#69 - 2017-04-03 04:47:41 UTC
Elizabeth Norn wrote:

Though I have to applaud the Federation for managing to achieve gender equality for their homeless.


Now you are making a major assumption here. Keep in mind, we are in a bleak space future with clinical immortality and faster than light travel. So really, all we know is the genders are equal when the product comes out the end of the pipe. I see no compelling reason why the ratios would have to be identical at the start.

Also, I would like to point out that the scientist is apparently totally consumed during the process. The mechanism for this interests me. Discuss.
Tricia McManus
T-T-S
#70 - 2017-04-03 10:47:40 UTC
"Esta carne esta ratta."

:D

Very nice there, CCP!

Question regarding the "Federation Navy Organic Mass Granulator":
Where does the scientist go? Shocked

:P

"What are you looking at?!"
Sylvia Kildare
Kinetic Fury
#71 - 2017-04-03 11:28:02 UTC
Pepe LaPhroaig wrote:
Think you may be devaluating the market for exotic dancers when you announced their actually dressed up bum’s.
I’m gonna get rid of mine right away. :D


Working exactly as intended.

[CCP Falcon corners the exotic dancer market]
Jeaxez Astra
Astra-Helascoria Enterprises
#72 - 2017-04-04 00:21:36 UTC
1,337% Boost rates.....


1,337%

What?

Sounds Legit.



Happy April 1st everyone.


But seriously, I cant be the only one who wants them to do it now for ***** and giggles. I mean the Drifters love dead bodies, surely there is potential to this. Bwehahaha
Elzon1
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#73 - 2017-04-04 08:25:08 UTC  |  Edited by: Elzon1
Worth a chuckle.

Here's a thought though: Actually make this a real deployable. The deployable could allow us a chance to recover the victim(s)'s implants.... along with other.... byproducts....
DGrem
Ecliptic Control
Ferrata Victrix
#74 - 2017-04-04 10:08:39 UTC
imagine that this is not an April joke...
this could be one of the best additions in the history of this game Twisted
Rei Kuroki
Electric Sheep Machinery
Caladrius Alliance
#75 - 2017-04-04 11:49:50 UTC  |  Edited by: Rei Kuroki
CCP I approve of this contraption.
Maybe not the boosters part but hell yes with corpse munching.

Make the April fools joke a reality!
ITTigerClawIK
Galactic Rangers
#76 - 2017-04-04 14:27:17 UTC
Hahaha it's funny because everyone thinks this is an april fools joke, why do you think they gave the new blood raider capitals a corpse bay everyone... come on think lads :-P

I for one look foward to this unit but could we please have some skills and gear to extract the implants from these corpses before we throw them through the grinder?
My Nin
Parental Control
Didn't want that Sov anyway.
#77 - 2017-04-05 05:51:32 UTC
Elzon1 wrote:
Worth a chuckle.

Here's a thought though: Actually make this a real deployable. The deployable could allow us a chance to recover the victim(s)'s implants.... along with other.... byproducts....


Give this man a meat popsicle!
Oskar Thiesant
United Ascendancy State
#78 - 2017-04-10 02:01:53 UTC
this would have been Epic, if it would give parts for Cyberware Mores the better.
FoxFire Ayderan
#79 - 2017-04-21 16:58:56 UTC

Just reading this today.

My b.s. detector was starting to warm up but I had to get down to the percent bonuses before I said to myself "wait a minute.... I better check the date of this article"

That's where ya let the cat out of the bag. Should have made those more reasonable if you wanted to fool most people beyond that point.
Drigo Segvian
Black Fox Marauders
Pen Is Out
#80 - 2017-04-22 01:32:48 UTC
I can see nerds killing their alts all day long :)