EVE Fiction

"I don't recognize myself anymore." Jessyca murmured as she stared into the camera mounted on her office terminal, "I sometimes miss the young, naive refugee girl I used to be before everything that came after. Not because she was somehow better then who I've become, or nostalgia over lost innocence, but because ignorance is truly bliss."

She leaned back in her desk chair, eyes glancing across the interior of the golden plated Amarrian station quarters. Even with all the lights off, the glow from the screen was enough to send scintillating, glittering, fragments of illumination cascading through the room. Her hands reached down to grasp the handle of her coffee, taking a deep swig from the over-sweetened liquid before clearing her throat to continue.

"When I was a young girl, before the Gallente station Talaris found me on, barely 13 years old I remember our mother once telling me, 'dear sweet girl, your life will be harder than ours ever was.' Of course I didn't really understand what she meant at the time, but I think I do now. As slaves, our parents lacked the power to make their own decisions, to decide their own fate. We were given free will with no instruction manual and no parents to teach us how to use it properly. Even if they hadn't been killed, they were slaves, it's all they knew. How could they teach us to use something they never had?"

"So here I am, a mere 7 years later and yet it seems like several lifetimes ago. I've become a highly educated doctor and scientist, an accomplished combat pilot, a capsuleer, in some people's eyes a war criminal, torturer and mass murderer, among many other things all thanks to Talaris. I fight for humanity, doing the things no one else has the stomach to do; but because of that I've grown callous on the outside, and twisted all up inside. That young girl I used to be, would be terrified of the woman I've become, just like you are. She always wanted to be the princess of her stories, and she became the villian instead. Funny how life distorts everything we are, no matter how hard we try to cling to who we wanted to be."

"Talaris would say something like, 'regretting decisions made to save millions is both illogical and foolish'. 'spose that's just how his half-computer brain justifies what we do each and every day. I envy how he can simply choose to ignore his emotions, always have. Being someone who tends to be hyper-emotional, or according to Talaris' diagnosis 'bi-polar', I feel every action I take, everything I do."

She paused again and reached for her coffee only to find it completely drained of its contents. A soft sigh escaped her black painted lips as she put the cup back down.

"I have done horrible things, inflicted terrible pain on people who's only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I know there is no forgiveness for what I have become, but you must understand that I have no choice. Me and Talaris have seen things you can't even imagine; space itself ripped apart, ships powerful enough to annihilate entire fleets. The Drifters are immensely powerful, extremely advanced, and a threat to all humanity. The Sansha too, with their advanced wormhole technology and advanced cybernetics, are a grievous threat, but also an opportunity. There is a storm coming and we must understand the technology of both races if we, humanity, are to survive that storm. The research and experiments me and Talaris are performing in conjunction with our allies is essential to your survival. If I am to be a monster, I will be a monster for the right reasons. For you my sweet innocent sister, wherever you are. For survival. For humanity."

"I'm not asking for forgiveness, or even acceptance. I merely want you to understand why I had to leave you behind, why I had to become the villain of our story. I will always love you, and miss you every day. I hope you became the princess I was never able to be."

She leaned back in her chair and tapped the transmit button, sending the message scattering across the IGN in hopes that the it would find its way to the right recipient eventually.

After a moment of silence, the tears came without warning.