Intergalactic Summit

Greetings, space residents.

Lately, I have observed numerous persons becoming Outraged, Appalled, Disgusted, and several other reactions, to posts they have read on the IGS.

I have to say, that the manner in which these reactions is displayed, is somewhat lacking in style and/or flamboyance.

So, I have taken it upon myself, to write a useful guide, to how to overreact properly.

Firstly, one should be properly dressed.

Ladies, you should wear a dress, with a relatively low neckline, exposing at least your collarbones. You should also wear a substantial necklace, such as a string of gems, or pearls. You should also carry a fan. This is important.

Gentlemen, your fashion choices are much wider, but, you simply must wear a classic monocle, the kind that comes on a chain.

So:

1. Being Outraged.

Ladies, when you wish to express being Outraged, you should gasp audibly, and clutch your off-hand to your upper chest, with your fingers splayed out. Breath in deeply, to inflate your bosom, and make the fabric of your dress stretch. Say clearly "out-rage-ous", and shake your head slightly.

Gentlemen, raise your eyebrow, causing your monocle to fall out. Say clearly "I say ! That's just not sportball !"

2. Being Appalled.

Ladies, to express being Appalled, again, gasp audibly, and clutch your necklace with your off-hand. Again, breathe deeply to inflate your bosom, and declare "Ap-pall-ing". Three syllables.

Gentlemen, frown deeply, and say "Most unseemly".

3. Being Flustered.

Ladies, to properly display being Flustered, you should once more, gasp audibly, clutch at your upper chest, with your fingers splayed. Breathe in deeply again, and say "Oh my", and fan at yourself.

Gentlemen, adjust your monocle and clear your throat, and say "I see."

4. Being Disgusted.

Ladies, when you wish to show Disgust, you should gasp, but not too audibly, and without clutching at your necklace or collarbones, say in a low voice "Dis-gus-ting". Three syllables. Shake your head slightly.

Gentlemen, Frown deeply, and say "Hmph"

These are the four fundamental techniques to over-reacting, and mastery of the basics will greatly enhance your overreacting ability.


Advanced Overreacting for Ladies:

When you wish to over-react in an advanced manner, then the proper technique is fainting. Now, to do this safely, there are a number of things you need to be aware of.

Proper fainting technique is essential, to prevent any injury. You don't want to faint directly onto your hip, because that will hurt. Instead, you want to faint such that your buttock contacts the ground first, which will cushion the impact.

Proper attire is needed to faint safely and accurately. One may wish to have additional padding sewn into your dress, around the buttocks and shoulders, to further reduce the impact.

To faint properly, first, bend both your knees, this will ensure you will mostly drop straight down at first. Bend your knee more, in your preferred direction of faint. I.e. to faint to the left, bend your left knee more.

When your posterior makes contact, turn slightly away from your direction of fall, such that you will be face-up. This ensures that your heaving bosom will be properly displayed whilst you faint.

Pull your tongue in whilst fainting, lest you accidentally bite it when you contact the ground.

When you recover from your faint, fan at yourself and breathe deeply, such that your bosom properly inflates to stretch your dress fabric. Say "Oh my", and add "How dreadful", or "How shocking", or other phrases appropriate to the situation.


Now, armed with this knowledge, you too can properly overreact to the topics discussed here on the IGS.

You know what they say about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, right?

Just do like Miss Doctor Valate and you will be a shiptoasting pro in no time!

Example 1: This thread.

This is still a better post than most of what happens here.

I am confused by this, but I also find it somewhat amusing.

Didn't you sell those rights to that Action Figure company? I could swear I've seen some with Authentic Condescending Sniff Action, so if you didn't you may want to look into litigation. Someone owes you money.

Excuse me, but you forgot to include a section about fainting couches. People must know about fainting couches and the proper ways to deploy/use them.

I do declare!