Intergalactic Summit

News reaches Gutter Press, that the Federal Defence Onion, a commemorative variety of edible onion, has been sabotage, with Caldari biotech megacorporations suspected to be behind the incident !

Onions !

The Onion was being developed by an Oursulaert based agricultural corporation, the Oursulaert Onion Organisation, and was being specially bred for taste and texture, in patriotic celebration of the Federal Defence Union's many successes in the militia wars.

Crunchy !

An OOO spokesperson had this to say:
"Our personnel were beginning their inspections in the morning shift in the research plantations, when it was noticed that the fields of FDO had been attacked by unknown elements. Subsequent investigation retrieved some feathers, which carry a Caldari biotech company nanosignature, indicating this was clearly sabotage, and not a natural occurrence."

Sabotage !

Gutter Press agents were able to examine the feathers, and consulted with the University of Caille's biotech faculty, who informed Gutter Press that the feathers:
"carry a makers mark from Zainou Biotech, in fact, this particular construct carries Todo Kirkinen's signature, which is very rare to see. The date on the mark indicates that this construct is several decades old, so it's not recent. Where did you say this was found ?"

Mystery !

Oursulaert local law enforcement released an official statement that:
"This incident is under investigation, and the facts will be released when they have been established."

Cover up ?

Meanwhile, a source within the Federal agricultural industry, suggested that things are not all that they seem:
"On the surface, that would look like a Caldari plot, however, the age of the construct, and the fact that only the onions had been targeted, sounds to me like a rival company is trying to sabotage OOO, and frame Caldari agents for it."

Conspiracy !

Will the Federal Defence Onion recover from this setback ? Will the bio-engineered bird that carried out the attack be found ? Will the plotters behind the whole incident ever be identified ?

Gutter Press will seek the answers to these questions.

Gutter Press. News.

Clearly a setup. Why would Ishukone want to pointlessly attack foreign interests? Why ever would Ishukone want to pointlessly attack foreign onions? Clearly, Lai Dai is trying to frame Ishukone. I recommend that Oursulaert law enforcement pass the investigation over to the CEP. The combined forces of Intercorporate Peacekeepers and Caldari State Navy will surely bring the fugitive bird to justice.

Yes, because all the other okusaika were imploding upon each other while Heth was going mad with power. Look where it's gotten us since then; I can't say there's a good reason to regret it.

Please don't teach the Gallente sabotage; that'd be helping the enemy, no?

Please excuse me, I didn't plan to teach Gallente sabotage. I planned to sabotage them properly so they would see the difference and amount of destruction I could bring upon them, compared to this.... Onion incident.

Can't you see, it is a Divine punishment for your sins!

Why do you blame Caldaris for this? You should blame yourselves in what you were doing. Or better, don't blame anyone. Just look around and see the peoples, she the Universe as He made it. Read the Scriptures and learn to live in self discipline and humility in His Light.

Everyone can be saved. Everyone. All you need is just a bit of belief, and mostly in yourself.

Hmm then I couldn't enjoy exotic dancers nah I don't want to