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Disturbances as image of the Empress appears in loaf of bread

Author
Shirley Serious
Gutter Press
#1 - 2016-07-04 18:41:52 UTC
News reaches Gutter Press of widespread minor disturbances on Athra, as an image of the Empress appeared in a freshly-baked loaf of bread in a Dam-Torsad bakery.

Baked !

Pictures of the loaf of bread were shared widely on social media in the early morning of the 2nd. Disagreements soon followed, as to which Empress was depicted in the loaf.

Confusion !

Numerous Sarumite groups claimed that the image was clearly that of the late Empress Jamyl I, which drew an angry response from Tash-Murkon supporters, who asserted that it was clearly Empress Catiz I whose image had spontaneously appeared. The majority of social media commentators said the image was clearly of an Empress of Amarr, but that it was unclear whether a specific Empress was depicted.

Disagreement !

Angry exchanges on social media outlets resulted in numerous minor disturbances across much of the continent of Udor, particularly amongst younger citizens. Reports indicate that a very junior member of a minor royal family was severely reprimanded by civic authorities, for instructing their servants to paint a slogan on civic property.

Vandalism !

A Theology Council spokesperson had this to say about the loaf of bread:
"The appearance of images of Prophets, Saints, Emperors, or other historical figures in baked goods is a known phenomenon, with several incidences every day across the whole of the Empire. No particular theological significance has ever been associated with any given occurrence of this type of phenomena."

Inconclusive !

The Amarr Bakers Association had this to say:
"The best loaves are made by ABA-certified bakeries, which ensures the customer will enjoy a quality bread product, with all the taste and wholesomeness of 100% Amarrian wheat based flour."

Tasty !

Gutter Press, bringing you the bread of journalism, from the grain of truth.

Just the facts.

Skyweir Kinnison
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2016-07-04 19:02:47 UTC
I thought it was old news that the Empress was toast.

Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country.

Ibrahim Tash-Murkon
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#3 - 2016-07-04 19:55:04 UTC
The Amarr Bakers Association is an upstart of unscrupulous business interests, many of them foreign, barely a century old. They were formed so that their members could peddle low-quality foodstuffs under the banner of a seemingly respectable trade group.

Quality Amarrian bread and baked goods will always carry the seal of approval from the Dam-Torsad Brotherhood of Millers. "Only the finest Amarrian wheat; true Amarrian bread for true Amarrians.

"I give you the destiny of Faith, and you will bring its message to every planet of every star in the heavens: Go forth, conquer in my Name, and reclaim that which I have given." - Book of Reclaiming 22:13

Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#4 - 2016-07-04 21:08:41 UTC
Skyweir Kinnison wrote:
I thought it was old news that the Empress was toast.

Typical insensitive gallentean disrespect to others cultures and heroes..
Is anyone surprised?

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#5 - 2016-07-04 21:59:02 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Skyweir Kinnison wrote:
I thought it was old news that the Empress was toast.

Typical insensitive gallentean disrespect to others cultures and heroes..
Is anyone surprised?

No, but we are amused.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

Nick Bete
Highsec Haulers Inc.
#6 - 2016-07-04 23:18:05 UTC
Kim's response is half-baked.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#7 - 2016-07-04 23:19:25 UTC
Nick Bete wrote:
Kim's response is half-baked.


I don't know about half baked, seemed rather stale to me....
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#8 - 2016-07-05 01:05:49 UTC
Stale and moldy.

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.

Morwen Lagann
Tyrathlion Interstellar
#9 - 2016-07-05 02:45:02 UTC
I'm not sure which is worse: taking a sarcastic (and admittedly in poor taste) joke made at the expense of tabloid journalism seriously enough to use it as an excuse to attack someone, or taking the tabloid journalism seriously enough in the first place for that to even be a possibility.

Morwen Lagann

CEO, Tyrathlion Interstellar

Coordinator, Arataka Research Consortium

Owner, The Golden Masque

Felise Selunix
Keyholder Investment Group
#10 - 2016-07-05 04:45:28 UTC
I have a feeling that if this story continues to rise, the Amarr Bakers Association could be rolling in dough...

I just hope they've found a way to monetize that bread loaf. At least put it on display and charge a fee or whatnot. If it were me, I'd arrange an empire-wide tour, STAT. 200% profit guaranteed if you put it together right.
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#11 - 2016-07-05 05:05:02 UTC
Shirley Serious wrote:
Reports indicate that a very junior member of a minor royal family was severely reprimanded by civic authorities, for instructing their servants to paint a slogan on civic property.


Was it Geeral Tash-Murkon ? That sounds like the kind of hi-jinx that he gets up to. What a rapscallion.

Quote:
Gutter Press, bringing you the bread of journalism, from the grain of truth.


Here now, baking metaphors are our thing !

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.

Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#12 - 2016-07-05 07:06:53 UTC
Nick Bete wrote:
Kim's response is half-baked.

How about you come and try to BAKE me, eh?

Oh, sorry~ I forgot that you are nothing but a gallentean barking frog, who can only foam at the mouth on forums and run from the sight of Caldari ship or even Caldari officer in person. Well, enjoy your pityful life of cowardice while you can. Because someday you won't be able to draw your white flag and run.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#13 - 2016-07-05 07:46:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Elmund Egivand
Diana Kim wrote:
Nick Bete wrote:
Kim's response is half-baked.

How about you come and try to BAKE me, eh?

Oh, sorry~ I forgot that you are nothing but a gallentean barking frog, who can only foam at the mouth on forums and run from the sight of Caldari ship or even Caldari officer in person. Well, enjoy your pityful life of cowardice while you can. Because someday you won't be able to draw your white flag and run.


And this has nothing to do with Luna Hanaya in a Loki at the stargate under the protection of gate guns, the fact that you are flying a Succubus and you have a Garmur for backup.

Pondering on how I should go about with murder-killing the Loki. If anyone has any tips do send me a message with some instructions. Mind you, my comm channels are audited so no joke instructions.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#14 - 2016-07-05 07:59:24 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Nick Bete wrote:
Kim's response is half-baked.

How about you come and try to BAKE me, eh?

Oh, sorry~ I forgot that you are nothing but a gallentean barking frog, who can only foam at the mouth on forums and run from the sight of Caldari ship or even Caldari officer in person. Well, enjoy your pityful life of cowardice while you can. Because someday you won't be able to draw your white flag and run.


And this has nothing to do with Luna Hanaya in a Loki at the stargate under the protection of gate guns, the fact that you are flying a Succubus and you have a Garmur for backup.

Ah, I see you are crying that loud about your incompetent flying of your Worm-class frigate, that I have successfully caught trying to invade in Caldari space.

Well, let it be a lesson to you: ALL GALLENTE OCCUPANTS WILL DIE.

Pity though that this Garmur pilot has intervened. I have planned of holding you a bit longer to see what such a pathetic pilot like you could do after I killed all your gallentean drones. It was amusing.

Though I don't know why you even bring unrelated persons in unrelated ships here. I guess minma~ (ehh, I mean, gallentean, since you are an obvious gallentean pet) eyes have grown too huge from such display of Caldari superiority. I am surprised you haven't mentioned our titan that we had couple systems away. Umm... at least it would be our, not some sort of random other ship that even haven't joined the fight.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#15 - 2016-07-05 08:13:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Elmund Egivand
Using hobgoblins in that fight is a mistake that will be rectified.

And the fact that Luna Hanaya is almost always in the same system as you is no coincidence. Also, she's in a Loki sitting at gate with gate guns protection. A quick search through the combat kill-logs also showed that the last Loki she lost has interdiction links and defense links. Clearly, she's benefiting somebody with her presence and she must go.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#16 - 2016-07-05 09:26:19 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Using hobgoblins in that fight is a mistake that will be rectified.

And the fact that Luna Hanaya is almost always in the same system as you is no coincidence. Also, she's in a Loki sitting at gate with gate guns protection. A quick search through the combat kill-logs also showed that the last Loki she lost has interdiction links and defense links. Clearly, she's benefiting somebody with her presence and she must go.

Ahahaha....

So, you can't do anything against me and decided to go hunt down a poor Amarr lady for it whom you saw when your ship went pop and who didn't show any combat prowess yet? That's very minmatar of you.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#17 - 2016-07-05 09:41:30 UTC  |  Edited by: Elmund Egivand
Diana Kim wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Using hobgoblins in that fight is a mistake that will be rectified.

And the fact that Luna Hanaya is almost always in the same system as you is no coincidence. Also, she's in a Loki sitting at gate with gate guns protection. A quick search through the combat kill-logs also showed that the last Loki she lost has interdiction links and defense links. Clearly, she's benefiting somebody with her presence and she must go.

Ahahaha....

So, you can't do anything against me and decided to go hunt down a poor Amarr lady for it whom you saw when your ship went pop and who didn't show any combat prowess yet? That's very minmatar of you.


She's in a Loki. She is sitting around the gate guns just daring someone to come and take her. That is a good enough reason. Besides, if she isn't on your side, why do you care?

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#18 - 2016-07-05 10:28:08 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Using hobgoblins in that fight is a mistake that will be rectified.

And the fact that Luna Hanaya is almost always in the same system as you is no coincidence. Also, she's in a Loki sitting at gate with gate guns protection. A quick search through the combat kill-logs also showed that the last Loki she lost has interdiction links and defense links. Clearly, she's benefiting somebody with her presence and she must go.

Ahahaha....

So, you can't do anything against me and decided to go hunt down a poor Amarr lady for it whom you saw when your ship went pop and who didn't show any combat prowess yet? That's very minmatar of you.


She's in a Loki. She is sitting around the gate guns just daring someone to come and take her. That is a good enough reason. Besides, if she isn't on your side, why do you care?

I actually didn't care much about her, and that is... unforgivable of me. I will of course defend all citizens of the State and Empire from such nuisance as yourself, and I have quite loudly has shown you what I do with ships of such pathetic pilots as you.

Now please be so kind and get out from the discussion, it wasn't neither about your worm, nor your terrible flying skills, nor random Amarr ladies, whom you blame in your failures. So if you want to discuss it, make a new topic or something? There you can ask your stupid questions, if you are still interested.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Sinjin Mokk
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#19 - 2016-07-05 18:00:53 UTC
I rather thought it looked like King Khanid'd Gallentean girlfriend.

Ah well...

Still a better news agency than The SCOPE.


"Angels live, they never die, Apart from us, behind the sky. They're fading souls who've turned to ice, So ashen white in paradise."

Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#20 - 2016-07-05 18:14:10 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Using hobgoblins in that fight is a mistake that will be rectified.

And the fact that Luna Hanaya is almost always in the same system as you is no coincidence. Also, she's in a Loki sitting at gate with gate guns protection. A quick search through the combat kill-logs also showed that the last Loki she lost has interdiction links and defense links. Clearly, she's benefiting somebody with her presence and she must go.

Ahahaha....

So, you can't do anything against me and decided to go hunt down a poor Amarr lady for it whom you saw when your ship went pop and who didn't show any combat prowess yet? That's very minmatar of you.


She's in a Loki. She is sitting around the gate guns just daring someone to come and take her. That is a good enough reason. Besides, if she isn't on your side, why do you care?

I actually didn't care much about her, and that is... unforgivable of me. I will of course defend all citizens of the State and Empire from such nuisance as yourself, and I have quite loudly has shown you what I do with ships of such pathetic pilots as you.

Now please be so kind and get out from the discussion, it wasn't neither about your worm, nor your terrible flying skills, nor random Amarr ladies, whom you blame in your failures. So if you want to discuss it, make a new topic or something? There you can ask your stupid questions, if you are still interested.

TD;RL: Plz don't shoot my links...

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

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