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Currently in the land of Goondom

Author
Chewytowel Haklar
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#1 - 2016-05-19 05:03:48 UTC

After so many crushing defeats in the land of Goondom at the hands of the enemies in space we have found ourselves overwhelmed by expert spaceshipmen. The Mittani has us now mining in high sec and building Hurricanes, and other things, just to keep up appearances. Times are dark in the land of Goons.

Oh how the mighty have fallen they say as they whelp our fleets one by one, pillage our Sov, and take the last bit of freedom the bees hath had for ever so long. We called for aid but no one would come to aid us, all our allies have abandoned us and called us bad names. Times are harder then ever as morale falters and infighting continues. Just yesterday I saw a man proposing we resort to begging for handouts from others, or even sink to the lowest of lows and scam in Jita local. I believe that same man was left behind to die at the hands of the ever maddening Mittani.

Recently I heard Mittani say that we are destined to lose this war mostly because we all did not have enough paplinks, and participation has faltered every single day (playing Overwatch?). For who truly wants to die at the hands of our skillful enemies in these grand space battles? What madness is this I ask? Others ask so what is the plan now? After a long while I heard someone speak up and say, we need to get good at pvp! Not long after others seemed to chime in and agree, we need to move further into Losec space and start our own Red vs Blue. We have forgotten the ancient arts of combat and must once again relearn those ways which we have lost while getting fat off of rats in Deklein.

So it has been said, and so it shall be done. We have lost our ways and forgotten who we are, lost in drink as drunken filth and merely must relearn our old ways. This is how the Goonhammer must be forged! They shall know us for what we truly are and they will fear our awesome skillz once again. Let no one have any doubts, the Goons are here and here to stay!
Scipio Artelius
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2016-05-19 05:23:26 UTC
This is why the forums need to allow images.

So many words. So little said.

1 r/eve meme would have at least been funny and higher quality.
Natural CloneKiller
Commonwealth Mercenaries
BLACKFLAG.
#3 - 2016-05-19 05:40:25 UTC
Is this a burning ship going down?
Hawke Frost
#4 - 2016-05-19 06:00:41 UTC
Who?
Yarosara Ruil
#5 - 2016-05-19 06:41:50 UTC
Grr Goons. Hat Goons. Deth to Goons.
Maldiro Selkurk
Radiation Sickness
#6 - 2016-05-19 06:43:47 UTC
Well at least the goon propaganda machine is still running at 100% capacity.

Yawn,  I'm right as usual. The predictability kinda gets boring really.

Evasive Shadow Assassin
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2016-05-19 09:16:44 UTC
Nah ur done bro, people have had enough of goons ******* **** up, destroying the markets and generally being tards

Your done :0

Enjoy high sec, it's fun here
Josef Djugashvilis
#8 - 2016-05-19 15:48:41 UTC
Perhaps Goonswarm should be changed to Goongloom?

This is not a signature.

Josef Djugashvilis
#9 - 2016-05-19 15:51:01 UTC
Hawke Frost wrote:
Who?


^^ the ultimate Eve insult :)

Quickly to be followed by - hey, remember when the goons were something?

And, goons? before my time mate.

This is not a signature.

Sustrai Aditua
Intandofisa
#10 - 2016-05-19 16:02:49 UTC
Chewytowel Haklar wrote:

After so many crushing defeats in the land of Goondom at the hands of the enemies in space we have found ourselves overwhelmed by expert spaceshipmen. The Mittani has us now mining in high sec and building Hurricanes, and other things, just to keep up appearances. Times are dark in the land of Goons.

Oh how the mighty have fallen they say as they whelp our fleets one by one, pillage our Sov, and take the last bit of freedom the bees hath had for ever so long. We called for aid but no one would come to aid us, all our allies have abandoned us and called us bad names. Times are harder then ever as morale falters and infighting continues. Just yesterday I saw a man proposing we resort to begging for handouts from others, or even sink to the lowest of lows and scam in Jita local. I believe that same man was left behind to die at the hands of the ever maddening Mittani.

Recently I heard Mittani say that we are destined to lose this war mostly because we all did not have enough paplinks, and participation has faltered every single day (playing Overwatch?). For who truly wants to die at the hands of our skillful enemies in these grand space battles? What madness is this I ask? Others ask so what is the plan now? After a long while I heard someone speak up and say, we need to get good at pvp! Not long after others seemed to chime in and agree, we need to move further into Losec space and start our own Red vs Blue. We have forgotten the ancient arts of combat and must once again relearn those ways which we have lost while getting fat off of rats in Deklein.

So it has been said, and so it shall be done. We have lost our ways and forgotten who we are, lost in drink as drunken filth and merely must relearn our old ways. This is how the Goonhammer must be forged! They shall know us for what we truly are and they will fear our awesome skillz once again. Let no one have any doubts, the Goons are here and here to stay!
Bovine Scatology at its best. +10

If we get chased by zombies, I'm tripping you.

Vincent Athena
Photosynth
#11 - 2016-05-19 17:22:09 UTC
Maybe you should all consider a different game.

Know a Frozen fan? Check this out

Frozen fanfiction

Natural CloneKiller
Commonwealth Mercenaries
BLACKFLAG.
#12 - 2016-05-19 17:22:46 UTC
I hear being in goons requires players to be able to press undock, F1. Dock. I advised my six year old he is too advanced for goons now and he should move onto a better alliance.
Josef Djugashvilis
#13 - 2016-05-19 17:33:28 UTC
The goons as players are fine, no better or worse than any other group in the game.

Mittens and his ego, were, are and will continue to be the problem.

For mittens, the game seems to be a mechanism to generate a real life job for him.

Why on earth do regular rank and file goons put up with him?

The sooner the goons dump him, the sooner they can (probably} be successful again.

This is not a signature.

Varathius
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#14 - 2016-05-19 17:39:27 UTC
Natural CloneKiller wrote:
I hear being in goons requires players to be able to press undock, F1. Dock. I advised my six year old he is too advanced for goons now and he should move onto a better alliance.


I don't know about that. I went on a small solo roam in low sec and got ganked by 5 guys, their garmur did unfortunately for them not make it. Took me a bit more than just to press F1 to win that isk war vs 5, just saying...
Julanna Egnald
Del's Industrial Strip Mining
#15 - 2016-05-19 17:44:29 UTC
I've seen in the past when the Goons disappeared from one side of the map only to pop up seemingly from nowhere a week or two later on the other side of the map. Could this be an excuse for a mass relocation, to the northeast, perhaps?
Lianara Dayton
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2016-05-19 17:58:17 UTC
Is this the latest case of Colony Collapse Disorder?

Lianara Dayton, Society for Peace and Unity

Arthur Aihaken
CODE.d
#17 - 2016-05-19 18:22:59 UTC
Natural CloneKiller wrote:
I hear being in goons requires players to be able to press undock, F1. Dock. I advised my six year old he is too advanced for goons now and he should move onto a better alliance.

Don't forget the ancient art of ship-spinning...

I am currently away, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#18 - 2016-05-19 19:03:10 UTC
What a waste of electrons, how unexpected, coming from you OP.

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log

Chewytowel Haklar
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2016-05-19 21:06:07 UTC
Julanna Egnald wrote:
I've seen in the past when the Goons disappeared from one side of the map only to pop up seemingly from nowhere a week or two later on the other side of the map. Could this be an excuse for a mass relocation, to the northeast, perhaps?


Where did you hear this information? Apparently someone has been misinformed you about where we are relocating fyi.
Aiwha
Infinite Point
Pandemic Horde
#20 - 2016-05-19 21:09:58 UTC
Hawke Frost wrote:
Who?




Some lowsec scrub alliance.

Sanity is fun leaving the body.

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