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Intergalactic Summit

 
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TL;DR May 3rd, YC118
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Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2016-05-03 15:00:10 UTC  |  Edited by: Jason Galente
The Newest of New Eras of New Ages

The most recent New Era is upon us. I am naming it "The Era of TL;DR". It starts...... now!


Pandemic Whored

In what was surely a simple misunderstanding, Planet Express, Inc. delivered a shipment of diseased prostitutes to Pandemic Horde's O1Y-ED home station of HORDE TRIUMPHS IN FADE, causing a massive outbreak of an unknown disease which is causing the capsuleers of the station to experience what is being called a "murderboner", the disturbing side effects of which can be seen here.

No cure is in sight. This is the second major medical issue facing two major combatants in the Northern War, the first being the cloning-bay induced autism of the Goonswarm Federation (now known as "Blap blap toot toot" syndrome).

This is the last time we set up shipments over voice comms.

On the plus side, the disease-ridden dancers were very ethnically diverse. Pandemic Horde, Inc. is an equal opportunity employer.


Ollie Rundle Defeats Yours Truly in Poetry Competition

"Kim's demeanour and rants became tousled
Whenever her jimmies were rustled
"You're all liars," she'd cry
"The Federation must die!"
Was her singular hackneyed rebuttal"


Anchorable Pinatas

The first Citadel lasted -11 seconds.


Resolution on Bloody Civil War

We'll look into it.





I would report on the Diana Kim Gallente lover story (hint: ask Xadiran), but that's kinda personal, yo.

Also, romance crap is for cheap novels. This ain't the Gutter Press.

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Vikarion
Doomheim
#2 - 2016-05-03 15:18:48 UTC
I always appreciate these highly accurate and extremely detailed accounts of the trials and tribulations we experience in Fade. Big smile
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2016-05-03 15:23:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Jason Galente
Vikarion wrote:
I always appreciate these highly accurate and extremely detailed accounts of the trials and tribulations we experience in Fade. Big smile


Then you should toss it a like Cool

Also, maybe some ISK? Big smile

I am a shameless, attention-whoring space pauper. Give me things!

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Rinai Vero
Blades of Liberty
#4 - 2016-05-03 15:54:23 UTC
There's no medicine for regret, hordelings!
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2016-05-03 15:58:33 UTC
Rinai Vero wrote:
There's no medicine for regret, hordelings!


When I pee, it doesn't necessarily burn, but I get a sudden urge to kill bees and bee-associated things.

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Karina Ivanovich
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2016-05-03 16:43:35 UTC
TLDR stands for Totally Laudable and Detailed Reporting right?

Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#7 - 2016-05-03 18:05:55 UTC
Best. Reporting. Ever.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Johlie
Scorn Again.
#8 - 2016-05-03 20:09:06 UTC
I knew there was something wrong with those dancers.

Forever in the future, Shall I battle as of yore, Dying to be born a fighter, But to die again, once more.
Karina Ivanovich
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2016-05-03 21:03:31 UTC
I will fully admit to have been part of that Ibis kill. Was quite the fun night, but we were indeed all highly affected mentally by outside sources.

Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
Rook Moray
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#10 - 2016-05-03 22:44:07 UTC
Oh man...I almost...


*whew*

I've been spending so much time in my ship The Bugspray, that I haven't had enough free time for dancers.

But wait. I also feel the urge to kill bees and bee-associated things.

Just how contagious is this thing?!?

Shocked

“When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.” -Guristas Proverb.
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2016-05-04 05:14:33 UTC
Johlie wrote:
I knew there was something wrong with those dancers.


ManFace has a great personality!

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Vikarion
Doomheim
#12 - 2016-05-04 09:08:29 UTC  |  Edited by: Vikarion
I'm not sure that we can really endorse disease-laden hookers as the proximate cause for this ailment. To wit, I have had the desire to kill bee-related things for some time, quite previously to their reported arrival (I avoid hookers, personally, as I feel that they occupy time best spent by drinking).

No, I suspect that someone has spiked the alcohol supply. A pity, that. The only possible solution, of course, is to quickly remove the offending viands. I suppose that many in Horde, in our unending generosity and brotherly concern to shoulder any burden, no matter how onerous, will take up this responsibility. I volunteer myself to be among that great number.

And while this may have resulted in the undignified, and, indeed, most tragic accidental destruction of an innocent Ibis, this wanton destruction and bloodlust will soon come to an end, and I expect that soon O1Y will become a haven for any neutral pilot who might wish to have a safe and free port in the darkness of Fade.

Especially capitals. Officer-fit ones, especially.
Rook Moray
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2016-05-04 13:45:46 UTC
Hookers and drinking are not mutually exclusive activities.

That being said, you can count on my support in the removal of viands, bees, crows or any other undesirables.

“When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.” -Guristas Proverb.
Lyris Nairn
Perkone
Caldari State
#14 - 2016-05-04 14:20:21 UTC
Hello.

Sky Captain of Your Heart

Reddit: lyris_nairn Skype: lyris.nairn Twitter: @lyris_nairn
Rook Moray
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#15 - 2016-05-04 14:32:03 UTC
Lyris Nairn wrote:
Hello.


Heyas,

Come visit sometime.

“When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.” -Guristas Proverb.