Intergalactic Summit

Entry Thirty-five: Fortitude

(or: "Maybe More Miz's Cup of Tea")

So-- there's a limit to what masochism can do for you. I say that, and I believe it; absent cybernetic rewiring or maybe a severe mental illness, no one likes getting a broken leg.

Like a lot of bits of "knowledge" I'm pretty sure of, though, that one gets challenged sometimes.

The other case the Directrix assigned me to is someone whose name I don't really need to change because (1) Nauplius will recognize him instantly anyway and (2) he insisted that I don't, so, here:

His name's Chaduk Arahi Vasich Dauhagin.

This is the person who had the ten (TEN!) different flavors of Vitoc. Just him. Personally. He started as a Group Three (six Vitoc strains), but apparently Nauplius took a personal interest.

Insubordination: chronic. Possibly pathological stubborn streak. Constitution to match. Presumably Nauplius kept this one alive because he made a good hobby.

Every so often you hear about someone like this, whose stamina and willpower (and ego) just seems kind of heroic. Or ... something. Stereotypically, he'd be a Brutor, but, nope-- Vherokior. Apparently he's a third-generation (and "elite") slave who wound up on the open market (cheap) because his previous Holder found him unmanageable.

That's not something I got out of a file. That's him boasting happily while a bunch of doctors scramble to try and work out the mixture of Vitoc strains that'll keep his organs from shutting down.

He did not mistake me for a sefrim. He did make an off-color remark within two minutes of meeting me, while theoretically under sedation. Physically, he was in really rough shape. Spiritually ... not so much. Torture'll break anyone, eventually, but whatever Chaduk's limit is, I don't think Nauplius got around to reaching it.

("The Butcher" taking an interest might have been a mercy, here. Expert help's probably not hard to come by in the Sani, but if Nauplius wanted to break Chaduk personally, well-- Nauplius himself has so very many other luckless fish to fry.)

(Note: I am not saying that torture is a reliable way of obtaining information. "Break" means "put into a state where the subject will do or say anything to make the pain stop." That means providing a torrent of whatever will bring even a moment's respite, which is a different creature from "reliable intel.")

(It's a perfectly good way of extracting a confession or whatever [not a true one, necessarily], if that's all that's desired, though.)

(Or of terrorizing a population.)

(I do not want to know how I know these things, even if I kind of already do.)

The amount of satisfaction Chaduk takes in not being in that tower any more, that first time I meet him, is hard to overstate; he's just lying there smiling while doctors and medics bustle and his comrades in captivity wail and pray and occasionally vomit blood. After a few minutes, I realize he never expects to get off that bed. He's got some idea just how complicated the Vitoc "key" for him is going to be, and there are way more lives at stake than just him.

It doesn't matter. He's out. He's won.

(Never mind that he's back in Amarrian custody; he's not going to have to cross that bridge because he's going to expire, shortly.)

He passes the time with me recounting his epic battle with The Butcher, which he makes sound like some sort of adventure story.

Almost. He goes quiet at times, when he's talking about friends. There's a thread of pain, underlying the braggadocio, a keen recollection of friends lost, spirits snuffed out. Sacrifices. Murders. He deals with his own mistreatment like it's a light thing, buoyed by ego, savoring his own successful endurance of what he's sure was Nauplius's worst (I'm a little skeptical). But the ordeals others went through....

It's hard to be brave on someone else's behalf. (Without looking like a psychopath, maybe.)

Those moments pass, though, and we're on to another chapter. I just listen. To Chaduk, it's already over; what he most wants, now, is a witness, so I give him one.

What we're both unaware of, and Nauplius is probably unaware of, but the doctors are increasingly working out, is that the "key" for Chaduk isn't going to actually be all that complicated. Nauplius doesn't actually understand Vitoc all that well, so he presumably said something like, "Stuff him with Vitoc until his eyes bulge!" and some loyal minion hopped to obey-- by putting Chaduk in four different addiction groups....

... Which have a lot of overlap. And all of which are being worked on feverishly.

So, as it turns out, Chaduk's biggest problem is also the biggest problem for Miri and half the rest of our temporarily-refugee-camp-like medical bay: Nauplius's in-house Vitoc strain. Once that gets solved, Chaduk's left facing something he hadn't expected. He's going to live.

He wasn't really ready for that. It's kind of a problem. He was perfectly willing to be our patient, but now he's feeling more like our prisoner, and that's an issue. His rescuers are looking less like an honor guard for a dying hero and more like the latest in his line of intensely resented owners.

That includes me.

So, the sexual harassment begins. Or resumes. He offers to bed me, then immediately withdraws the offer, saying he wouldn't want to break me in half. He asks whether all Achura are such sickly little sticks, and comes up with a theory on the spot that Achur men are actually trees, then goes on to speculate about Achur mating customs and procedures. When I mention that my father was Civire, he declares my father a pedophile. And so on.

We sort of reach a detente when, in fishing for more material, he asks what my title, "Peregrinans," means. "Traveler," I tell him. I explain that I'm not actually of the faith; that I'm a visitor from abroad.

Things go more easily, after that.

[cont'd]

You're a capsuleer. You easily have the power to do almost anything you want. You choose not to make the decision to use that power, and thus the responsibility for your inaction remains yours. That is part of what we spoke of yesterday. When we come into positions like ours, especially as somewhat veteran capsuleers with wealth and experience, we have to consciously choose inaction or deference to various systems and societal structures because in reality we aren't constrained by them like your average citizen of any nation.

Since these things are our choices, the outcomes always become our responsibility as well, opening all of us to a much higher degree of criticism and scrutiny as well. It's the part of capsuleerdom that goes mostly ignored by most of us, because it's the unpleasant part, but it remains true nonetheless.

I have chosen to adhere to certain cultural mores and principles, along with my own personal principles, but that also means that since I'm the one making that choice as a free capsuleer, I am also the one who carries the responsibility when adhering to them causes harm.

We were talking of disappointment, yes? That is what disappoints me the most about most capsuleers. Forever refusing taking responsibility for ones actions, or inaction. There is this strange mindset that we should not only be entirely free, powerful and wealthy, but also immune from consequences, criticism and responsibility as well. You consider me as having severe personality flaws, which is fair enough if you're being honest about it, but I'd say this pathological denial of accountability that is so endemic amongst us is a far more serious personality flaw.

As for Chaduk Arahi Vasich Dauhagin, your name has been put as a priority in the Network. Stay alive and on your feet. One of the countless groups of freedom fighters working in the shadows of the Empire will find you, and with a little bit of capsuleer assistance you might find that while you'll always have enemies before you... you'll have friends behind you.

Ah, the wonders of modern bureaucracy and communication. A single name and a few personal details released to the public and a Holder will be identified and made vulnerable to some very unpleasant attention. If nothing else, at least I can make these people face the consequences of their actions and choices.

Mr. Nauplius,

I'm not a Holder. Neither is Directrix Aspenstar. Under Imperial law, which she is loyal to and I abide by as a guest, neither of us are permitted to own slaves.

My role was to console and counsel people you harmed, not to "discipline" them. You seem to have done plenty of that with Chaduk already, for all the good it did. My job was to form a degree of trust and help him adjust. I particularly was not about to rise to the bait of a man daring me to show what he suspects to be my true colors by trading physical pain for words.

As for relativism: you and those who follow and serve you have always been upsetting to me. I normally try to keep an even keel, but your overachieving minion is not at all the first person I've thought was horrible.

Unless my feelings fade by the time I find those responsible, I will put them to death in a very painful way. It's not that I think this is the right thing to do, exactly. It's more that I've seen too much harm come from this person, or these people, to just let this pass.

What neither you nor Miz seem to understand is that relativism doesn't mean withholding judgment in all cases. It means that my sense of what is right, or wrong, depends on context.

Maybe, in the end, I'll turn out to have exaggerated my will to do harm. But when it really comes down to it I've seen so much pain coming from you and your followers that I can barely stay civil. You and yours have built a context for me. The only question now is whether I have the will and opportunity to follow through.

Torture's not really a thing I think of as "something I would do." Skinning a person alive probably counts. Then again, I'm also someone who can kill for almost no reason, so....

Still, it's probably more likely that I'll just ventilate the poor fool's brain pan. I might even just turn them over to someone with more of a stake in all of this. (I'm no good at grudges.)

For all I know, the person responsible is already in Amarrian custody, or died when the tower fell.

If not....

I don't think the universe shares my judgment. I don't think it judges. ... But in this case, I'm pretty okay with being a consequence.

We'll see whether I still feel that way, when and if I get my shot.

*Slow clap.*

Ladies and Gentlemen. The Despair and Desperation of the woefull Villain. Are things finally starting to make you uncomfortable? Is it getting through to your thick head you might somehow be wrong?

I, for one, welcome a progressive attitude. I'm looking forward to hopefully seeing the revolutionising policies of Her Majesty Empress Jamyl (His Light take her) be continued and expanded by the next incumbant. Considering it's between Tash-Murkon and Kor-Azor... I'm feeling rather optimistic.

So, what's this? Nauplius is against non-Holders not possessing slaves?

Good gracious, I thought by Imperial law only Holders have rights to slave-holding. I can't for the life of me imagine a Ni-Kunni shopkeeper owning a slave.

'Chosen' as in yourself, I take it? He will continue to be a problem to whichever Holder who decides to own him but he will especially be a problem to you, because he's got a chip on your shoulder.

The slave in question, Chaduk, is Vherokior. Surely you would have found out that info by reading Ms. Jenneth's entry above, near the top of the thread page.

It's my experience that people like that cannot be fixed by moving their body. It's likely that he's unable to react proportionally - he'll resent completely any type of discipline placed upon him, he'll reject completely any authority placed over him and he will react to the uttermost of his rage and disdain in that sort of case.

You'd have to fix his mind and spirit to change what will, otherwise, be a short path to an ugly death.

You have discovered an anomaly, Lady Jenneth. This Chaduk seems to have escaped my possession without being broken. Miri wasn't broken either, but since you disguised Miri's real name, I don't know whether she was with me long enough to have been broken. Chaduk, however, was with me long enough to have been broken, and it seems he was not.

If I had this Chaduk back, my staff could experiment on him and re-tune their breaking procedures to prevent unbroken slaves from happening in the future without simply cranking up the torture, Vitoc, chains, TCMCs and so on across the board. Without such evidence available, we shall have a less finely-tuned solution — but we shall not err on the side of too little repression.

Oh that's easily fixed these days.

Unlike Nauplius, I believe in the humane treatment of Controlled Personnel. It is far more ethical and cost-effective.

We have the technology to repair the broken mind. That and proper spiritual guidance can help heal the soul.

Upon further reflection, the name Chaduk actually sounds familiar. I know I hired some Personnel from one of the rescue missions. I do keep accurate records, I'll see if I still have him on the payroll or if I can find for sure where he is.