Intergalactic Summit

News reaches Gutter Press of an incident on Luminaire VII (Caldari Prime), where a mob of Caldari people staged an angry demonstration in one of the Gallente administered areas.

The demonstrators claimed that ethnic Caldari are being forced out of the area by unscrupulous property developers, in order for Gallente citizens to move in.

Shenanigans !

Homeland Property Management, one of the property management companies named by the demonstrators, is alleged to have bribed Caldari residents to move out, offering them substantial sums of money to relocate to Caldari-administered areas. The vacated properties are then redeveloped and leased to Gallente tenants for sums considerably above the historical market value of the area.

The demonstrators allege that this is nothing less than real estate manipulation in order to price out Caldari people from the area.

Astounding !

Gutter Press agents spoke to several of the demonstrators:

"I heard that Homeland Property Management is a subsidiary of that "Reclamation Technologies" company, owned by that Gallente raconteur fellow", said one demonstrator.
"Raconteur ? More like Racketeer if you ask me ! They're trying to drive us out of our homes. This is a Caldari city !", said another demonstrator.
"This kind of market manipulation is hardly new to Caldari Prime. However, it is the motivation behind it that is the problem!", said another.

A Gallente tenant in the alleged affected property had this to say:

"Oh, it's ever so nice here. The management company was so very helpful. There was a little problem with some anti-social residents, but the company cleared that right up".

A Homeland Property Management spokesperson gave Gutter Press a prepared statement, and a basket of fruit.

Fruity !

The full text of the Homeland Property Management was as follows:


The fruit was tasty.



Gutter Press will keep an eye on these property developments.

"We received a small bribe from an entity suspected of bribing people. We're going to compensate for this by telling you all about it, including how nice the bribe was."

This may take some sort of prize for weird journalistic integrity.

Well, even leaving out the question of whether all Caldari are really comfortable with being sorted out and segregated from their Gallentean neighbors, you might consider how many of those homes are ancestral dwellings.

There's Home, and then there's your own home. Being manipulated out of that after holding onto it maybe for generations isn't something that I would expect to sit well with most Caldari.

Indeed and furthermore, the Caldari who moved were "bribed." That implies that they were at the very least paid fair market value for their property, or there would have been no financial incentive to move and the "bribe" would fail. This further implies that Federation corporations are transferring wealth to the Caldari population of Caldari Prime - wealth which can be used to the rebuilding of Caldari neighborhoods on that planet.

Why Gallente citizens are agreeing to pay above fair market rates for the property under redevelopment is not the State's problem. If anyone should be outraged, it is Federal citizens. To the extent that State citizens refuse to pay above market rates, they are not being discriminated against - they are being sensible.

The subject of Caldari Prime, however, reminds me that I remain irritated at the authorities for not using my Giant Metal Eating Mushrooms to eat the Leviathan wreckage. I am happy to report that Great Frozen Tekojarvi, just over the northern pole, is a sparkling glow-in-the-dark winter wonderland of crystalline waters and greatly recovered fish stocks.

I would visit, but... issues.

And what better target was there for the Federation then an entire planet of Caldari to orbitally bombard, right?

Apparently the planet wasn't challenging enough so they drove a ship into a station.

Dear Proper Authorities,

Should you find your planet bombed from orbit, I would like to point out that my Giant Metal Eating Mushrooms descend from cell samples acquired on and around shattered planets in worm space. Not even an exploding star will kill them and they adore, positively adore, toxic heavy metals of a radioactive variety. They just gobble them up. Or, rather, they extrude fungal hypha... hydrolisks... which spit radiodurans water bears that secret an acidic emulsion which... how does that all work again, Caldari Graduate Assistant?

Caldari Graduate Assistant?

I suppose she is doing her hair.

Anyway, in the event Caldari Prime should be subjected to renewed orbital bombardment, please do not hesitate to contact the Hematology Advancement Program for all your detoxification needs. In addition to proven organic reclamation technologies that will make the planet both hospitable and stunningly beautiful in no time, we can offer unique gene therapies to citizens otherwise certain to die from radiation sickness and disease.

Although rarely given credit where credit is due, Sani Sabik institutions of higher learning have, though millennia of painstaking (yes, yes, and painful) research developed the most advanced medical science in the Cluster. Our rates are reasonable, and in any event would never amount to more than one third of your surviving population!

Sincerely,

me

Mr Bete, forgive me for being a little sharp but I didn't get much sleep last night so my tolerance for ignorance and hypocrisy common to your people is a little low.

First, I'm not a "slaver". I don't own any. You can call my Empire slavers sure but that just shows your wilfull ignorance of my people's culture and hierarchy. There's a lot of us who don't own slaves. But please, continue being dismissive as if I don't have a personal stake in this topic because you don't understand us.

Second, the Caldari are a little more then just allies to me. I'm not of them anymore, sure, but my father was. And he died on that planet by Gallentean hands no less. Now you know it's personal.

Third, it seems to me that you're saying 'sorry' yet babbling justification after justification in mitigation. You're either sorry or your not. Which one is it? Will your people accept their self confessed mistakes whole heartedly or is the cliche of a Non-Apology the norm?

Is orbital bombardment off the table, then? Should I put away the mushroom seeds?

It sounds like this might be the perfect time to go...while you still can.