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A simple guide to slave training
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#1 - 2016-02-01 20:07:10 UTC
Training of slaves is something that most Holders aren't very good at.

To alleviate this situation, I present the following simple guide:

1. How to train your Slave to start working

When you wish your slave to begin working, take your Rod of Encouragement, and begin beating the slave with the Rod, lightly, until they start working.

2. How to train your Slave to stop working

When you wish your slave to stop working, take your Stick of Discouragement, and begin beating the slave with the Stick, lightly, until they stop working.

With practice, simply reaching for the Rod, or the Stick, will cause your slaves to begin or cease working, as appropriate, without any actual beating involved. Why, the most skilled slave owner can operate their slaves by merely glancing at the appropriate implement.


Advanced Slave Training

To reward a slave for a task well done, take your Feather Duster of Tickling, and begin tickling the slave with the Duster, until they giggle.

To punish a slave for a task poorly done, take your Lash of Discipline, and begin lashing the slave with the Lash, lightly, until they appreciate the magnitude of their error.


Troubleshooting:

Q: My slave doesn't seem to work ?

A: Check that you have purchased the correct kind of slave for the work that you intended them to do. If you purchased the wrong type, you better have kept the receipt, such that you can return them to the slave dealer, for the correct model.

Q: My slave took the Rod, and began beating me with it !

A: Hah hah hah, the circle is complete. The Apprentice has become the Master. I suggest you start working.

Q: I experienced disturbing sensations whilst tickling my slave with the Feather Duster.

A: Eww. You should be ashamed.


With the knowledge contained in this guide, you too can begin training slaves to perform all sorts of tasks.

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#2 - 2016-02-01 20:29:38 UTC
Something something Khumaak, something something death to slavers.....
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#3 - 2016-02-01 20:48:54 UTC
Troubleshooting:

Q: My slave doesn't seem to work ?

A: Did you try turning it off, then back on again?

Q: My slave took the Rod, and began beating me with it !

A: Hah hah hah, the circle is complete. The Apprentice has become the Master. I suggest you start working.(this one made me giggle, no correction needed)

Q: I experienced disturbing sensations whilst tickling my slave with the Feather Duster.

A: Give in to those urges, you know you want to...

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Satja Askariin
Adamantine Tactical Acquisitions
#4 - 2016-02-01 23:02:40 UTC
Claudia Osyn wrote:


Q: I experienced disturbing sensations whilst tickling my slave with the Feather Duster.

A: Give in to those urges, you know you want to...


Really?
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#5 - 2016-02-01 23:30:31 UTC
Based on today conversation in Intergalactic Summit (I mean NeoCom channel, not this forum), we again had an argument today about slavery and Caldari State.

A certain person was blaming us in being slavers, being Empire war criminals and us being criminals for allying with the Empire. Depite that was incredibly ignorant and stupid accusation, I would like to give a short commentary to try to avoid it in the future.

1) Slavery is prohibited everywhere in Caldari State territory and for Caldari State citizens. Violators are considered criminals and persecuted.
2) Slavery is absolutely legal in Amarr Empire for Amarr citizens. They don't commit any crime while they participate in slavery within their borders.
3) Blaming us for supporting their slavery is the same as blaming me in painting house blue, when it is my neighbor has house painted blue and my house is painted pink instead.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#6 - 2016-02-02 00:05:42 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Based on today conversation in Intergalactic Summit (I mean NeoCom channel, not this forum), we again had an argument today about slavery and Caldari State.

A certain person was blaming us in being slavers, being Empire war criminals and us being criminals for allying with the Empire. Depite that was incredibly ignorant and stupid accusation, I would like to give a short commentary to try to avoid it in the future.

1) Slavery is prohibited everywhere in Caldari State territory and for Caldari State citizens. Violators are considered criminals and persecuted.
2) Slavery is absolutely legal in Amarr Empire for Amarr citizens. They don't commit any crime while they participate in slavery within their borders.
3) Blaming us for supporting their slavery is the same as blaming me in painting house blue, when it is my neighbor has house painted blue and my house is painted pink instead.

Who said the Caldari had anything to do with slavery? Not even close...
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#7 - 2016-02-02 01:13:20 UTC
Deitra Vess wrote:

Who said the Caldari had anything to do with slavery? Not even close...

Some people do... unfortunately. And it wasn't a single occurence.
And I am becoming rather... annoyed... at such stupidity. Please excsue me for such outburst.
If you would really like to go into fingerpointing, I could get you some names and citations(from the forum, not Summit chat, of course, AFAIK it is against CONCORD rules), but honestly, I'd prefer they just to stop doing this in the future.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#8 - 2016-02-02 01:16:32 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Deitra Vess wrote:

Who said the Caldari had anything to do with slavery? Not even close...

Some people do... unfortunately. And it wasn't a single occurence.
And I am becoming rather... annoyed... at such stupidity. Please excsue me for such outburst.
If you would really like to go into fingerpointing, I could get you some names and citations(from the forum, not Summit chat, of course, AFAIK it is against CONCORD rules), but honestly, I'd prefer they just to stop doing this in the future.

Ya, not worth the effort finding examples, that is pretty stupid though...
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2016-02-02 01:53:34 UTC
Ms. Valate, reading this I am under the impression that you encourage slavery in anticipation of the impending schadenfreude when the slaves turn against the master.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Morgan Wulver
SAYR Reserve Guard
SAYR Galactic
#10 - 2016-02-02 04:31:40 UTC
I clicked on this link and now all my sidebars on the GalNet are advertisements for lucrative fetishistic courtesan services. So thanks for that.

Kirjuun! Uakan! Teknikiara! Kanpai kameitsamuu! Ra ra ra!
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#11 - 2016-02-02 04:40:16 UTC
Morgan Wulver wrote:
I clicked on this link and now all my sidebars on the GalNet are advertisements for lucrative fetishistic courtesan services. So thanks for that.


There are apps you can install that will block these ads permanently.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2016-02-02 05:00:59 UTC
By the way, if Kim ever paints her hypothetical house pink, I will be sure to send in some drones that will draw red vein-like lines all over it.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Pieter Tuulinen
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#13 - 2016-02-02 05:07:02 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Ms. Valate, reading this I am under the impression that you encourage slavery in anticipation of the impending schadenfreude when the slaves turn against the master.


Either that or she just likes it when they turn the tables on her...

For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#14 - 2016-02-02 06:34:06 UTC
Morgan Wulver wrote:
I clicked on this link and now all my sidebars on the GalNet are advertisements for lucrative fetishistic courtesan services. So thanks for that.


Just how lucrative are you talking here ?

I don't want my threads associated with low-value products and/or services.


Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Ms. Valate, reading this I am under the impression that you encourage slavery in anticipation of the impending schadenfreude when the slaves turn against the master.

Either that or she just likes it when they turn the tables on her...


L-lewd.

Also, I don't know that you 'get' my posting here.

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Lunarisse Aspenstar
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#15 - 2016-02-02 12:25:10 UTC
Just stop posting, as the Lieutenant would say.
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#16 - 2016-02-02 12:30:50 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
By the way, if Kim ever paints her hypothetical house pink, I will be sure to send in some drones that will draw red vein-like lines all over it.

Now-now, gallentean pet, displaying blood raider tendencies too?

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#17 - 2016-02-02 14:03:21 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
By the way, if Kim ever paints her hypothetical house pink, I will be sure to send in some drones that will draw red vein-like lines all over it.

Now-now, gallentean pet, displaying blood raider tendencies too?


So, you enjoy living in a house of meat?

Because I can arrange to have the appropriate paint-jobs applied to your lodgings.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#18 - 2016-02-02 14:10:18 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
By the way, if Kim ever paints her hypothetical house pink, I will be sure to send in some drones that will draw red vein-like lines all over it.

Now-now, gallentean pet, displaying blood raider tendencies too?


So, you enjoy living in a house of meat?

Because I can arrange to have the appropriate paint-jobs applied to your lodgings.

Don't project your tendencies on me, subhuman scum.
I said about having pink house, and that was just a color for example. You, on other hand, started to make it like meat in your sick head and was trying to add veins. You need a psychological help, tribal.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#19 - 2016-02-02 14:47:21 UTC
Don't you all generally live in dormitories anyways? Sorry if I'm wrong but I didn't think you really owned houses?
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#20 - 2016-02-02 15:12:35 UTC
Deitra Vess wrote:
Don't you all generally live in dormitories anyways? Sorry if I'm wrong but I didn't think you really owned houses?

My family had a house, but after we left home planet we were living in assigned apartments. After I have left and joined the academy and then the Navy I was living in barracks. I guess it is sort of... dormitory.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
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