My EVE

I wake up, my thoughts slowly begin to gather and my senses slowly start functioning after a too short night. It is a weird feeling when I suddenly have that song in my mind again. The gentle first accords of the song ‘Below the Asteroids’ begin to form up in my head and I lift myself up out of bed, getting the sudden urge to turn on my PC and get logged into Eve.
Am I sick? What’s the problem?

I proceed into the bathroom, with a dull feeling spreading around my stomach. It is that kind of feeling you have when you realize that you have just forgotten something really important, maybe even a bit of the feeling you have when you are lovesick. I brush my teeth, and I cudgel my brain to find out what the freaking problem is. Some time passes without a solution, I exit my apartment and go to work with very clean teeth.

A squalid attempt to describe my mornings - mornings how they look like since about 2 months. “Jeez, she is a madman!” some of you might think now, and I have nothing to say to object that guess. I have not been playing Eve actively since about 2 or 3 months now. Nevertheless, I am listening to the eve soundtrack nearly every day, and if I don’t, my brain takes over and plays it for me. That all wouldn’t have been a problem, if I hadn’t have this annoying feeling in my stomach.
I have never been or seen any of the important or old players of Eve I read so much in the news. I have never been good at PvP, and I always felt I did not achieve much in that one year of actively playing Eve. Still a lot has happened, I found friends, formed up a Newbie-Corp with them, dedicated a lot of time into it, witnessed its downfall, witnessed how my comrades disbanded, witnessed the dark loneliness of space.


I was five years old when my father allowed me to use his computer for the first time and transformed the passive observer into an active gamer. The list of games I played since then has become a long one, but I have to admit that only the good old offline games and the universe woven around it were able to enthuse me that much. Well - until CCP decided to increase their advertisement to a degree that even I could not resist and reactivated my old trial account I created and played for two weeks back in 2009. On my first day of reactivation some pirate recruited me and made me his apprentice. The fun only lasted two weeks (took me all that time to find out that what he taught me was actually not really considered nice amongst other players) when his corporation got lost in inactivity and I went to one of the numerous Eve-Academy corporations to get rid of my Noobie-stench. It was one of the fortunate encounters where I met some lovely bunch of fellow-noobs, and we decided to do all the carebear stuff together. It even became better: we all got along so well with each other that we decided to open our own Corporation! We actually were successful with it, had a good bunch of members, found another friendly Corp, joined an alliance, had our own homepage and all the nice things. Damn it was fun times. I felt involved, got along well the people, and even my spouse – a naturally not-so-communicative fellow in regards to online games – was able to find friends in this bunch of guys and got involved with the game. Until that moment came that always comes too early: it all failed, due to CEO emo-rage corp-pillaging action – leaving us remaining members confused, asset-less and divided. Inactivity followed, and I was forced to search for a new home.

Some weeks passed until I found my interests and I created a thread in the ‘Looking for Corp’ forum section. I got recruited by a relatively big Nullsec-Hardcore PvP Alliance. I have had some previous learning lessons with one of the oldschool dedicated Solo-PvPers back in my old Corp, a fierce, sinister but lovely guy that embodied everything I imagined that it means being a PvPer in Eve. Sadly he got hooked up in another rather useless game, leaving my PvP knowledge far from being substantial. And now I was in a very elitist and big alliance; my task: Following orders. Yes sir! And so I became a F1-Drone, listening to the harsh orders of the FC – always with the knowledge that one mistake will make the FC call me primary or order the titan to doomsday me into oblivion. A titan … a REAL titan. I could not believe it. I learned a lot during my short stay in that alliance, and I even managed avoid getting called primary due to failure.

Still I had my problems gaining that kind of virtual friends I had in my first corp. The people were nice, but my need of being on VoiceComms to find friends proved being a problem after some brief argues with my now envious spouse. Long story short: the corp that recruited me disbanded and I got the chance to join the maincorp of the alliance, but I declined. F1-drone was not the fate I wanted.