These forums have been archived and are now read-only.

The new forums are live and can be found at https://forums.eveonline.com/

Intergalactic Summit

 
  • Topic is locked indefinitely.
 

Look, before you leap...
Author
Previous Topic Next Topic
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#1 - 2012-01-03 22:36:46 UTC
The few who might remember me historically might also remember my propensity for making a fool of myself. Truly, there isn’t anything I’ve done becoming of me, no great achievements I have any pride for and no one with any sense would dare look up to me or be impressed with anything I’ve done.

No, it’s much easier for me to list the stupid, awful or unforgivable things I’ve done. Here’s just a few of my embarrassments:

    * I betrayed Star Fraction and my own race to join Aegis Militia and kill my own people. Then I betrayed them and not particularly because I felt bad about killing my own people (that came later and still haunts me now).
    * I earned the title “Apostrophe G” by purposely manipulating translation filters, which actually made me completely incomprehensible to many of the less supported languages and mostly incomprehensible to anyone else, just because I thought it was “cool”.
    * I’ve destroyed tens of thousands of people without a thought, just because. Many of these lives were lost due to me ignoring mission parameters or outright acting against them for my own amusement. Most of these were while I was under the influence of recreational drugs.
    * I made the mistake of later growing a conscience.

Those are just some things I’m willing to admit to (because I can’t really hide them anyways) or am able to remember. Every time I made a terrible mistake, then later thought back on it, I told myself ”I’m better now, I’ve grown past that, I’m an adult”. For the first time, after about 28 years (or however old I am), I’m able to admit that I’m just a child and me being grossly irresponsible is systematic rather than an occasional error in judgement.

Don’t think I’m asking for forgiveness, I don’t deserve it and I’ll spend my lives regretting every stupid thing I’ve done. I don’t get to start over; my clones each start pure and innocent until it is my mind that’s forced upon them and death no more undos my sins than my sense of awareness. That’s entirely my point, the reason I’m compelled to bring this all up knowing full well I’m making myself a fool again...

Until you and everyone else forgets something, it remains to have happened. Every terrible thing you do survives even when you may not and you have no right to take it all back. People may grant you forgiveness, but that’s something no one can take for granted because true forgiveness is a very difficult gift to give when circumstances demand more of it.

So here, I am pleading to all young pilots who haven’t yet condemned themselves, take my shame as an example and spare yourself later suffering. Don’t do what I’ve done. Don’t take contracts to murder so lightly. Don’t abandon your own people without first wondering who they are. Don’t treat loyalty so obnoxiously. Don’t corporeally possess a war machine while intoxicated with no one to question you or stop you from making mistakes. Don’t get yourself in so deep.

I’ll spend eternity cleaning up my messes, all while busy making more.
Mikkel Lybecker
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#2 - 2012-01-04 00:09:43 UTC  |  Edited by: Mikkel Lybecker
Well, I think we're a bit late for the train here but thanks for the thought.

If you want to send this message to where it'll do the most good I'd suggest rather than telling capsuleers here (by which time it's way too late), pin this up on the Pator Tech noticeboards or something. Mind you, they'll probably just laugh at it. I don't mean that in an insulting way - but you know what students there are like, you can't tell them anything.
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#3 - 2012-01-04 00:40:13 UTC
Mikkel Lybecker wrote:
Well, I think we're a bit late for the train here but thanks for the thought.

If you want to send this message to where it'll do the most good I'd suggest rather than telling capsuleers here (by which time it's way too late), pin this up on the Pator Tech noticeboards or something. Mind you, they'll probably just laugh at it. I don't mean that in an insulting way - but you know what students there are like, you can't tell them anything.


I'm afraid you might be right, but it's harmless to try. If someone's so arrogant to get worse after seeing my plea there wasn't much hope for them to start with.
Sanadras Riahn
Turbo Nuclear Pirate Punch
#4 - 2012-01-04 04:54:37 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:
So here, I am pleading to all young pilots who haven’t yet condemned themselves, take my shame as an example and spare yourself later suffering. Don’t do what I’ve done. Don’t take contracts to murder so lightly. Don’t abandon your own people without first wondering who they are. Don’t treat loyalty so obnoxiously. Don’t corporeally possess a war machine while intoxicated with no one to question you or stop you from making mistakes. Don’t get yourself in so deep.


See, it was this type of thing that made me scared to undock after earning my license, and you post this now, after I've finally stepped into my pod? Where were you three weeks ago?!

Tradition defines and shapes a person, but should be evaluated frequently; far too often does Tradition no longer help, but hobble a person and stunt their growth. Especially a Capsuleer.
Conventia Underking
Underking Family
Khimi Harar
#5 - 2012-01-04 09:16:33 UTC
It would seem, alas, to be too late for me.

For God; Salvation is Imperative, but not at the cost of our Humanity!

The Vitoc Problem - Conventia Underking
Caellach Marellus
Stormcrows
#6 - 2012-01-04 09:21:10 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:
Don’t corporeally possess a war machine while intoxicated with no one to question you or stop you from making mistakes.


Seconding this one, I made a horrific mess of an undock while drunk in charge of a Myrmidon once.

When your gut instincts tell you something is wrong, trust them. When your heart tells you something is right, ignore it, check with your brain first. Accept nothing, challenge everything.
Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
#7 - 2012-01-04 17:40:27 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:

* I made the mistake of later growing a conscience.


No worries, I'm sure now that you're back in space, it'll shrivel up and fall off like an unwanted wart. Consciences have a short shelf life.
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#8 - 2012-01-04 18:05:41 UTC
Istvaan Shogaatsu wrote:
Aphoxema G wrote:

* I made the mistake of later growing a conscience.


No worries, I'm sure now that you're back in space, it'll shrivel up and fall off like an unwanted wart. Consciences have a short shelf life.


I can only pray that I will one day be endowed with your wisdom.
Conventia Underking
Underking Family
Khimi Harar
#9 - 2012-01-04 21:35:34 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:
I can only pray that I will one day be endowed with your wisdom.


Really? I'm not quite so sure I'd go that far...

For God; Salvation is Imperative, but not at the cost of our Humanity!

The Vitoc Problem - Conventia Underking
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#10 - 2012-01-05 15:06:51 UTC
Conventia Underking wrote:
Aphoxema G wrote:
I can only pray that I will one day be endowed with your wisdom.


Really? I'm not quite so sure I'd go that far...


Just look at him though, is that not the face of a trustworthy person? He is so regal, so suave... just... so... nice...

What were we talking about again? I just suddenly want to give Istvaan all of my stuff for safe-keeping...
Conventia Underking
Underking Family
Khimi Harar
#11 - 2012-01-05 21:55:11 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:
Just look at him though, is that not the face of a trustworthy person? He is so regal, so suave... just... so... nice...

What were we talking about again? I just suddenly want to give Istvaan all of my stuff for safe-keeping...


I think we should discuss the qualities of trustworthy people at some point.

For God; Salvation is Imperative, but not at the cost of our Humanity!

The Vitoc Problem - Conventia Underking
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#12 - 2012-01-05 21:57:57 UTC
Conventia Underking wrote:
I think we should discuss the qualities of trustworthy people at some point.


Are you trying to suggest a handsome man can't be trusted merely for being handsome?
Conventia Underking
Underking Family
Khimi Harar
#13 - 2012-01-05 22:21:09 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:
Are you trying to suggest a handsome man can't be trusted merely for being handsome?


Yes, I am indeed.

For God; Salvation is Imperative, but not at the cost of our Humanity!

The Vitoc Problem - Conventia Underking
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#14 - 2012-01-05 22:29:02 UTC
Conventia Underking wrote:
Yes, I am indeed.


Okay, come on, have you even looked at him? Just look at that. He's freaking amazing. Look, how can you not trust that? His chin just emanates scruples. His perfect brow sings to you perfect credibility. His fabulous eyes caress your soul and... uhh...

Istvaan, do you think you could hold onto some ISK for me? I'm really bad about spending it and I really need to save up a bit.
Katrina Oniseki
Oniseki-Raata Internal Watch
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#15 - 2012-01-05 22:34:24 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:

Okay, come on, have you even looked at him? Just look at that. He's freaking amazing. Look, how can you not trust that? His chin just emanates scruples. His perfect brow sings to you perfect credibility. His fabulous eyes caress your soul and... uhh...

Istvaan, do you think you could hold onto some ISK for me? I'm really bad about spending it and I really need to save up a bit.


I think you should look again before you take that leap. Blink

Katrina Oniseki
Conventia Underking
Underking Family
Khimi Harar
#16 - 2012-01-05 22:44:08 UTC
Aphoxema G wrote:
Okay, come on, have you even looked at him? Just look at that. He's freaking amazing. Look, how can you not trust that? His chin just emanates scruples. His perfect brow sings to you perfect credibility. His fabulous eyes caress your soul and... uhh...

Istvaan, do you think you could hold onto some ISK for me? I'm really bad about spending it and I really need to save up a bit.


I'll stop by later and have a talk... a long one.

For God; Salvation is Imperative, but not at the cost of our Humanity!

The Vitoc Problem - Conventia Underking
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#17 - 2012-01-05 22:44:16 UTC
Katrina Oniseki wrote:
Aphoxema G wrote:

Okay, come on, have you even looked at him? Just look at that. He's freaking amazing. Look, how can you not trust that? His chin just emanates scruples. His perfect brow sings to you perfect credibility. His fabulous eyes caress your soul and... uhh...

Istvaan, do you think you could hold onto some ISK for me? I'm really bad about spending it and I really need to save up a bit.


I think you should look again before you take that leap. Blink


Ohhhhhho, got me there... Will you protect my money from myself, then?
Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
#18 - 2012-01-05 23:28:11 UTC
What's this? Someone wants to give me money? Any assets you'd like me to mishandle?

I'll set up the appropriate transfer points!
Aphoxema G
Khushakor Clan
#19 - 2012-01-05 23:33:50 UTC
Istvaan Shogaatsu wrote:
What's this? Someone wants to give me money? Any assets you'd like me to mishandle?

I'll set up the appropriate transfer points!


Let's see... I have... you know what, I'm just going to contract it all to you so I don't have to...

Mmm, I feel funny, maybe I should wait to talk to Conventia. What do you think?
Gistatis Praefectus
Doomheim
#20 - 2012-01-05 23:36:27 UTC
I've made a fool of myself plenty of times. Like this one time somewhere in Metropolis, a group of Caille Uni students came into the system to study plant life on one of the planets there...

...and I realise I still have salvagers on my ship from cleaning up some hired gun wrecks. Damn nearly got me too. Needless to say, my compatriots will never let me live it down, but such is life, I suppose.