My EVE

Based on Skippy's List.

1. Not allowed to haul PLEX unescorted.
2. Shouldn't go ratting in anything less than a T1 destroyer.
3. Not allowed to give CODE any ISK, no matter how many times they catch me in hisec.
4. Giving Blond Blind Priestess ISK is fine, though, because she's so gosh-darned entertaining.
5. Not allowed to do YouTube commentary videos on the o7 Show.
6. Not allowed to do sexy role play in corp chat, even if others are willing.
7. Not allowed to do sexy role play in Amarr local.
8. Local is not primary.
9. That is not the appropriate use of a railgun.
10. Not allowed to fly around in a Deimos yelling "GIANT GOLDEN SPACE **** FOR EVERYBODY!".
11. Petitioning NPC corp tax rates is a waste of time.
12. So is trying to get your money back from anyone in Jita.
13. Jamyl Sarum was not my home girl and Amarrians do not live the thug life.
14. New players are not to be invited into fleets, then promptly sent to find "a canister of MWD fuel", "a crate of Quafe Next", "a control tower SKIN" or other such nonsense.
15. Not allowed to tell mining carebears that CCP will mail them free rock candy in exchange for giving up mining forever.
16. The Mittani is not 'Public Enemy Number One'. (That's CODE's job.)
17. Not allowed to gank Seekers just to pull Drifters into a high-traffic system.
18. Boasting about fitting out a Moros and taking it unescorted into Goonswarm space? BAD IDEA.
19. Mobile warp disruptors are a privilege, not a right.
20. Laser turrets may not be set to stun.
21. Must not threaten to 'donkey punch' players.
22. Cynosural fields are not toys.
23. Opening bait cans ('yellow' jetcans left out in space) and making off with the loot is awesome. But only if you get away with it.
24. Do not challenge covops pilots to a game of hide-and-seek.
25. In order to ensure smooth transition of a special request chit, it is best to advice your corp/alliance chain of command by evemail before attempting to requisition a supercarrier. Especially when you're part of a destroyer doctrine fleet.
26. Not allowed to yell 'Fly, my minions!' when launching drones.
27. When ordering supplies, “buttload”, “assload”, “s**tload”, “a little bit”, or “whatever you feel like giving me”,
are not numbers.
28. Not allowed to undock, eject, then redock until I have a hundred rookies floating in space in front of a station. CCP's server hardware thanks you.
29. Not allowed to schedule a fight then show up in a fleet of pimped-out rookies.
30. Not allowed to demand nude photos of people I tackle.

32. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
33. Not allowed to pad my killboard by ganking a passerby in a rookie.
34. "Breaking the game over my knee", while admirable, is not an acceptable goal.
35. "It's just a game" is not an excuse to be an unrepentant choad.
36. Fedos are not good eating.
37. If I'm going to gate camp, I am not allowed to do it solely for the purpose of re-enacting the troll scene from Monty Python's The Holy Grail.
38. Laser turrets on a Thorax is a troll fit.
39. Autocannons on a Dominix is a perfectly acceptable gimmick fit. Snowballs? Not so much.
40. True Slaves are not a good source of booty calls.
41. The Noctis is a excellent hull for salvaging, exploration and industry. It is NOT a combat hull no matter how many smartbombs you fit on it.
42. Minmatar ships are not actually made from duct tape, regardless of what the Amarr have to say on the matter.
43. Not allowed to talk my fleet into fitting an all-dreadnought battle fleet.
44. I do not have Level V in Flipping Off.
45. Or Flipping Out.
46. If I'm going to fill my low slots with warp stabs, I should be prepared to accept the resulting agonizingly long target acquisition delay.
47. Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'.
48. Gallentean kissing involves mouth parts only.
49. Not allowed to attempt to bribe gankers with slaves or exotic dancers.
50. My corp appreciates it if my character is not a tweeker.
51. There had better be a good reason for chasing someone across more than a dozen systems.
52. Trying to fit a medium turret on a destroyer is waste of time and ISK.
53. When I was told to distract the enemy FC, they didn't mean with a surprise marriage proposal.
54. Mines don't work any more, so there's no point in buying any.
55. CCP Falcon has neither the time nor inclination to hear about what I did with a Falcon, a dozen slaver hounds, a research assistant and several crates of Quafe.
56. No buying up all the strontium fuel just to jack up the price. Wars have been started over less.

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