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On the subject of moustache twirling villainy
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#1 - 2015-09-23 19:40:05 UTC
*Valerie appears on camera, and raises index finger of one hand*

In recent months, the topic of moustache twirling villainy has come up here, on the IGS.

Obviously, this activity is not available to some 50% of the population.

That is to say, Ladies. Because, well, ladies don't have moustaches.

So, to solve this problem, I suggest the following course of action.

What we do, see, now listen carefully, what we do, is, no, hush, listen, what we do is.

We get some slaves with suitably twirlable moustaches, and they twirl their moustache as a proxy !

It is a genius plan !

And none of you can stop it !

Wahahahahahahahahahaaaaahahahahahahahahaaaa.


Slave, twirl your moustache.

*A moustached man appears on camera, and twirls the ends of his impressive moustache, while waggling his eyebrows*

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#2 - 2015-09-23 19:59:54 UTC
Why not just get a fake moustache?
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#3 - 2015-09-23 20:02:16 UTC
Deitra Vess wrote:
Why not just get a fake moustache?


It's all about the psychology of wealth and power.

See, by having an actual human person, whose task is solely to twirl their moustache in a dramatic and or menacing fashion, it shows something or other, that a plastic fake moustache does not.

PSYCH!

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Ashlar Vellum
Esquire Armaments
#4 - 2015-09-23 20:23:10 UTC
If it all about the psychology of wealth and power, then he should sing "m-m-mustache, mustache, mustache, mustache" while he twirls his mustache and dance "the mashed potato".

Just waggling eyebrows while twirling is kinda cheap.
Pieter Tuulinen
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#5 - 2015-09-23 20:25:23 UTC
#JustAmarrianThings

For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#6 - 2015-09-23 20:28:38 UTC
Wait, waaaait, I've got it.

We have a slave, with a moustache with twirly ends, and they twirl the moustache.

BUT!

They're also wearing a fake moustache !

PSYCH !

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Arrendis
TK Corp
#7 - 2015-09-23 20:39:36 UTC
I think you need to have slaves whose entire purpose is to be the moustache. It's like being a beard, but they's a little more stiff-upper-lip about it.

Then you twirl them!
Ashlar Vellum
Esquire Armaments
#8 - 2015-09-23 20:42:57 UTC
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
#JustAmarrianThings

It can be as much #CaldariThing just don't trim 'em real small or your gallente friends will never call.
Neph
Crimson Serpent Syndicate
#9 - 2015-09-23 22:02:23 UTC
I do wonder, does being a twirlable mustache help elevate one towards holiness?

~ Gariushi YC110 // Midular YC115 // Yanala YC115 ~

"Orte Jaitovalte sitasuyti ne obuetsa useuut ishu. Ketsiak ishiulyn." -Yakiya Tovil-Toba-taisoka
Trii Seo
Goonswarm Federation
#10 - 2015-09-23 23:18:01 UTC
Well if you really need to twirl a mustache, there's always a glue-on option.

*Below is attached a picture of Trii, sporting an impressive tacked-on fu manchu mustache. It looks every bit as ridiculous as expected, especially considering the mustache itself was likely glued on without the use of a mirror - and is, therefore, uneven.

An alternative explanation is the combination of a previous attempt at twirling, coupled with a potentially weak adhesive - indicating poor quality of the mustache itself.*

Proud pilot of the Imperium

Arek'Jaalan: Heliograph
Anyanka Funk
Doomheim
#11 - 2015-09-24 00:13:16 UTC
Buy a Hecate, name it "Mustache", see how many times you can twirl it in station.
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#12 - 2015-09-24 06:34:24 UTC
Down with this sort of thing!

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2015-09-24 07:00:30 UTC
Ashlar Vellum wrote:
If it all about the psychology of wealth and power, then he should sing "m-m-mustache, mustache, mustache, mustache" while he twirls his mustache and dance "the mashed potato".

Just waggling eyebrows while twirling is kinda cheap.


It makes you look like a perv rather than a villain.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Ahman Nahrid
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#14 - 2015-09-24 09:55:02 UTC
And so the average credibility of the capsuleer community decreases another 14%.
Jade Blackwind
#15 - 2015-09-24 10:04:25 UTC  |  Edited by: Jade Blackwind
*Appears with a set of semi-transparent, soft whiskers. The whiskers' tips emit slowly pulsating red light, most likely going with the wearer's heartbeat; this is the kind of prop one might see during gallente student parties or Crystal Boulevard carnival.*

*Twirls the whiskers.*

I guess there goes another percent Lol
Zekiel Iyhr
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#16 - 2015-09-24 13:40:18 UTC
Institutions exist because of people like you folk.
Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#17 - 2015-09-24 17:40:37 UTC
Ahman Nahrid wrote:
And so the average credibility of the capsuleer community decreases another 14%.

Wait, how do you take 14% from 0?

I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
Nakito Kobara
Yamagata Syndicate
Northern Coalition.
#18 - 2015-09-25 08:26:05 UTC