These forums have been archived and are now read-only.

The new forums are live and can be found at https://forums.eveonline.com/

Intergalactic Summit

 
  • Topic is locked indefinitely.
Previous page12
 

[Official] Huogikku Corporation customer support thread
Author
Previous Topic Next Topic
Utari Onzo
Escalated.
OnlyFleets.
#21 - 2015-09-01 10:01:34 UTC
My Nova Knife Blender needs less "...pssssh"

Can I get a refund?

"Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil"
Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#22 - 2015-09-01 15:14:30 UTC
Utari Onzo wrote:
My Nova Knife Blender needs less "...pssssh"



Well you can by the "Less psssssh" expansion for only 20 ISK


Shall i connect you to a store near you?
Enso Nibbana
Phoenix Naval Operations
Phoenix Naval Systems
#23 - 2015-09-02 09:19:54 UTC
Product Idea: Raata Cola

Tagline: "With a taste stronger, and somehow smoother than Caldari Steel."

Packaging: Somewhat near the Raata Sunset line of Super Kerr-Induced Nanocoatings.
Ibrahim Tash-Murkon
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#24 - 2015-09-02 23:48:23 UTC
Huogikku Customer Support,

A semi-remote storage facility on my property was in disarray following a series of incidents including a storm, a power outage, uncooperative guests, and an infestation of small mammals. It was not until some weeks later that staff reviewed the damage/remembered the guests. There was water damage, leaking cryo-solution, rotted meat, bones, nesting material, feces, animal feces, and a spilled container of Quafe.

The cleaning staff utilized a Huogikku Anti-Filth Grenade™ to cleanse some of the rubbish. I am not entirely sure if what followed was the result of improper use or a design flaw. After being deployed the grenade nanites removed dust, dirt, biological remains, standing water, mold, a concrete floor, metal siding, several load bearing beams, three janitorial staff members, much of the flora and fauna in an expanding circle about 100 meters in radius, and was approaching a small settlement when, in their cleaning frenzy, the nanites consumed the support beams of a small reactor and were deactiviated/vaporized in the resulting accidental electric pulse and anti-matter reaction. Luckily the settlement was on the opposite side of a large hill just in case of a reactor accident but the other side suffered a ~0.5 kiloton explosion which leveled those remaining objects not consumed by the nanites.

Those pieces of the storage facility left are now spread over an area several kilometers in circumference and the upper atmosphere. The Quafe spillage stubbornly remains.

Hoping this finds you well,
Lord Ibrahim

"I give you the destiny of Faith, and you will bring its message to every planet of every star in the heavens: Go forth, conquer in my Name, and reclaim that which I have given." - Book of Reclaiming 22:13
Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#25 - 2015-09-17 20:39:56 UTC
Ibrahim Tash-Murkon wrote:
Huogikku Customer Support,

A semi-remote storage facility on my property was in disarray following a series of incidents including a storm, a power outage, uncooperative guests, and an infestation of small mammals. It was not until some weeks later that staff reviewed the damage/remembered the guests. There was water damage, leaking cryo-solution, rotted meat, bones, nesting material, feces, animal feces, and a spilled container of Quafe.

The cleaning staff utilized a Huogikku Anti-Filth Grenade™ to cleanse some of the rubbish. I am not entirely sure if what followed was the result of improper use or a design flaw. After being deployed the grenade nanites removed dust, dirt, biological remains, standing water, mold, a concrete floor, metal siding, several load bearing beams, three janitorial staff members, much of the flora and fauna in an expanding circle about 100 meters in radius, and was approaching a small settlement when, in their cleaning frenzy, the nanites consumed the support beams of a small reactor and were deactiviated/vaporized in the resulting accidental electric pulse and anti-matter reaction. Luckily the settlement was on the opposite side of a large hill just in case of a reactor accident but the other side suffered a ~0.5 kiloton explosion which leveled those remaining objects not consumed by the nanites.

Those pieces of the storage facility left are now spread over an area several kilometers in circumference and the upper atmosphere. The Quafe spillage stubbornly remains.

Hoping this finds you well,
Lord Ibrahim



Sorry sir i don't exactly see the issue here.....Seems the product is working as attended
Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#26 - 2015-09-17 20:40:56 UTC
Enso Nibbana wrote:
Product Idea: Raata Cola

Tagline: "With a taste stronger, and somehow smoother than Caldari Steel."

Packaging: Somewhat near the Raata Sunset line of Super Kerr-Induced Nanocoatings.




Yeah i rather not get sued......
Charlinda Akheteru
Akheteru Integrated Astrometrics
#27 - 2015-09-17 22:20:37 UTC
We recently replaced several of the door locks in our Employee's Quarters with Huogikku's remote-operated powered door locking mechanism and opted for the optional timer functionality. You know... to save money on paying extra Huogikku mercs to actually walk around locking and unlocking those doors?

Well, yesterday morning one of the merc supervisors reported a malfunction on one of the doors. Now we have two workers trapped in their apartment and have been unable even to deliver nourishment to these workers. Nor have we been able to deliver the copies of Pax Amarria they're demanding so that they may pray on the way to what is shaping up to be a rather unpleasant end resulting from dehydration.

Our medical staff has visited the effected ce-, er, apartment, and determined that these two men have about three days left to them. Of course, we've swapped out the rest of the new locks and replaced them with the older model previously used - just in case.

Please advise.

-Charlinda Akheteru
CEO, Akheteru Integrated Astrometrics

AIA Pharmaceuticals: What's your drug of choice?™
Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#28 - 2015-09-18 00:17:25 UTC
Charlinda Akheteru wrote:
We recently replaced several of the door locks in our Employee's Quarters with Huogikku's remote-operated powered door locking mechanism and opted for the optional timer functionality. You know... to save money on paying extra Huogikku mercs to actually walk around locking and unlocking those doors?

Well, yesterday morning one of the merc supervisors reported a malfunction on one of the doors. Now we have two workers trapped in their apartment and have been unable even to deliver nourishment to these workers. Nor have we been able to deliver the copies of Pax Amarria they're demanding so that they may pray on the way to what is shaping up to be a rather unpleasant end resulting from dehydration.

Our medical staff has visited the effected ce-, er, apartment, and determined that these two men have about three days left to them. Of course, we've swapped out the rest of the new locks and replaced them with the older model previously used - just in case.

Please advise.

-Charlinda Akheteru
CEO, Akheteru Integrated Astrometrics



Did you put the batteries in backwards?
Charlinda Akheteru
Akheteru Integrated Astrometrics
#29 - 2015-09-18 22:03:04 UTC
As it turns out, the sla-, er, employee who was tasked with installing the batteries themselves did in fact make this simple mistake. Apparently, it was assumed that this bit of sabotage would be a major coup.

We have dealt with the discipline of our worker, replaced the lost employment assets and are now enjoying the superior functionality of Huogikku's door locking technology.

I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize on behalf of Akheteru Integrated Astrometrics for calling into doubt the quality of Huogikku's products and/or services. Oops

AIA Pharmaceuticals: What's your drug of choice?™
Previous page12