Intergalactic Summit

News reaches Gutter Press, of a daring prison break by several members of the Angel Cartel, from a medium security prison in Edmalbrurdus, the escapees fleeing whilst disguised as goats.

The medium security prison on one of the temperate planets, is operated by the RSS, for low risk prisoners serving long sentences, which included several hundred low ranking members of the Angel Cartel.

The prison break was conducted by several of these Cartel members, in a scheme involving infomorphic transmission of consciousness, into specially engineered goat bodies.

A veterinary services vehicle had attended the prison, following reports of an illness amongst some of the goats on the prison farm, the goats normally providing therapeutic behaviour management for long-term prisoners.

The vehicle was in fact cover for the breakout, containing a modified transneural burning scanner, and several clone tubes containing the modified goat bodies, engineered to have sufficient cranial capacity to house a human mind.

After transferring their minds, the escapees were taken away from the prison inside a different veterinary services van, the prison guards being told that the goats were sick and required specialised treatment.

Roll call revealed that half a dozen prisoners were not in their cells, and their bodies were discovered inside the vehicle with the cloning equipment.

The escaped prisoners were all low ranking Cartel members, and it is currently unknown why the Cartel would have staged such an expensive breakout for them.

Security of other prisons is being reviewed as a result of the escape, and many prisons face having their farm animals removed.

We asked several Edmalbrurdus residents for their opinions:

"Well, what can you expect from the Cartel? I mean, one of their logos is a stylised animal face", said one Sebiestor exotic dancer.
"I never trusted goats. Shifty looking creatures. Now sheep, sure, they can be trusted. But goats ? not even once!", said a Sebiestor wool farmer.
"Well, that's weird. What will they think of next ?", asked a Sebiestor consumer electronics designer.


Gutter Press. News.

Hmm. Synchronicity. One of our own goats returned recently.

This is clearly part of the cover-up of reports of cannibalism and deviant behavior by the Gallente psychologist who was appointed warden at that facility. Therapeutic goats? Why not come out and admit they've been training the prisoners to self-identify, and even engage in carnal relations with these goats?

And once you have prisoners unable to tell humans from goats, is it any surprise they they kill and eat one another while shagging their goats?

Disgusting, I tell you. My only surprise is the goats weren't drone-goats.

It is my recommendation that in response to this incident and the technology it brings to light, that Caldari Customs institute a policy of transneural scanning of all live animals crossing into the state so as to prevent covert entry by enemies of the State.

Transmission of proper forms to follow, pending standard review by the School of Applied Knowledge.

Well....

I think the less said about this the better.

Goats.

That expains alot.

...Gutter Press aside. If it were possible to squeeze a human neural matrix into an animal brain with a working result, just imagine the side effects.

"Ignore him, the poor bastard spent three years as a goat"

hehe

There is no "members", only family

I's say; ne'er 'gin'll I loo' 't 'dat ol' cow 'de sa'e.....

Mebbe 's a member o'de Cartel....

I can imagine just how this will revolutionise the prison system. We mind-jump criminals into the bodies of cattle and force them to do what cattle do throughout the length of their sentencing. Even if they refuse to graze, their biology will force them into grazing and farting methane.

Well, to be fair, it might not be a goat as we know it.

It may be a goat-shaped human construct.

You see, capsuleer clones are of largely arbitrary shape, with the skeleton being mostly made from osteoplastics.

Thus, I suppose it might be possible to construct a goat-shaped clone, that would be capable of housing a human mind.

Of course, the sensory and motor nerve patterns would be all over the place, because humans have two eyes that point forward, goats have eyes that point in opposite directions, and the vastly different methods of locomotion, as the two most obvious examples.
I'm not sure if the poor things would be able to walk.

But, as a temporary measure, to smuggle a mind out of somewhere, I guess it could work.

Though, if they had a transneural scanner, why not just clone the escapees into human bodies several light years away, via a quantum entanglement link, as the capsule does ?

Quite baffling.