Crime & Punishment

Fixed. A single typo does not invalidate my point.

I should link the last write-up I did here, as an example of a proper after action report. I wish I had some more recent exploits to report, but I've become a dirty blobber like the rest.

"Tackle was called, DPS landed, target exploded." Rather uninspiring really.

Myself and a pair of corpmates did recently take a jaunt out to null in interceptors; where-upon after dodging the border bubble camp and fruitlessly searching a number of systems we came upon a promising dead-end farmer's paradise with some twenty nullbears in local. The common null bear is a notoriously skittish creature, and a frantic search of the system's pirate outposts and mining sites revealed nothing - it seemed that all the locals had fled to the protection of a near-by POS, terrified at the approach of three rabid interceptors.

And then we spotted it. A single hulk, mining happily away at the last anomaly to be scanned. No permit was in evidence, and he was clearly AFK when our approach was reported. My wingman landed first, and cut off the Hulk's escape with a rapidly applied warp disruptor. My Malediction landed seconds later, and we began to chip away at his shields with devastating volleys of Caldari Navy love. The Hulk pilot awoke, and his plaintive cries could be heard echoing in local.

"Guys, some help?"

"Someone help please?"

Alas, despite the presence of nearly two score of his compatriots in local, his pleas were met only with silence. Were they asleep, otherwise occupied, or simply frozen with terror at the appearance of law enforcement so deep in the depths of lawless space? Who can say? The battle was glorious. Our third fighter landed, and hundreds of missiles ripped the illegal miner to pieces as his Hammerhead II's tried and failed to score hits upon our vessels in a futile to ward off the inevitable doom. It took him nearly ten minutes to die, while his fellow null bears watched from the safety of their POS. The gospel of holy pew was brought to the darkest reaches of bear-infested null upon the wings of angels. Angels with a few thousand Caldari Navy Mjolnir light missiles to reinforce the point.

Then we tackled a Gila, lacked the DPS to break it, and committed seppuku-by-medium-drone out of sheer shame. I need some better material.