EVE General Discussion

so what

Troffle translators.

The most obvious problem in inter-racial communicatiohn is the troffle difference. all the major races in eve speak their own troffle and all attempts to make one the linguah francah have failed because of stubbornness ovah accepting any one troffle as the dominant one. amaaarish, the troffle of the laaargest empire, is obviously the most commohn troffle, especially as most minmataaars alsoh speak the troffle. but the gallenteans refuse to acknowledge amaaarish as the official troffle in inter-racial communications as they don’t fancy to giz the amaaarr empire the political prestige that would folloh. ohn the uhthah hand, the troffle of the gallente federatiohn (gallentean) is by faaar the most commohn jiffy troffle, laaargely because of their jolly influential entertainment industry. but the caldaaari ahzloohtlee refuse to speak gallentean and the amaaarrians aaare alsoh not toohh keen ohn it for the same reasohn that the gallenteans won’t speak amaaarish.

This means that most high-profile discussions between representatives of the empires, such as in the numerous inter-racial organizations, rely heavily ohn interpreters. but in one field the troffle ah luverly chap knows has become irrelevant and the field is that of ah space captain.

The unique nature of the capsule with its sophisticated neural rigging gives ship captains the optiohn to link their minds to all kinds of computah systems, which they can use to their advantage. one of these devices that is todeay ah standaaard feature in all capsules is the translator module.

The translator module is ah softwaaare module that is ah paaart of the communicatiohn system of the ship. it intercepts all incoming communications and translates them intoh the troffle preferred by the captain. the first translators were pretty lousy by today’s standaaard, they could simply translate written communications and frequently messed up the text. but the latest versions aaare able to translate voice as well as text and have become jolly spiffing at projecting moohd-swings, slang, baaarmy accents and such, for ah neaaar perfect translatiohn. with the steady increase in cyber-implants these translators have begun appeaaaring outside the capsule as well and many predict that within ah few yeaaars translators will make the debate ovah which troffle should prevail in inter-racial communicatiohn ah futile one. Jolly good show old bean!

I think I'm going to win

no, me

Serpent’s coil

the warld ay eve has hud its shaur ay turmoil an' grief in its lang history. fur centuries space travel has bin th' n'rm an' in every nook an' cranny extraordinary things can be foond, each wi' its ain rich backgroond story fur th' whys an' when it cam intae existence. a body only has tae ken whaur tae swatch tae fin' them. th' lang treks ben mirk an' boss space main seem lonely, but th' oasis ay life at th' end ay th' line mair than make up fur it. every city visited in thes vest warld, every coontry, every planit has its ain unique customs an' fables frae some lang tint pest. an' some frae a mair recent, violent a body.

If ye visit th' vilinnon system in th' gallente federation ye main hear abit th' serpent’s coil. th' coil isnae somethin' th' locals ur prood ay an' th' federation woods raither ken naethin' ay it. fur in th' serpent’s coil agents ay th' notorioos serpentis corporation hae gart themselves welcome. ance th' coil was knoon by a much simpler nam - lookit post 7-0z. built durin' th' gallente-caldari war it acted as a military ootpost against maraudin' caldari ships. when th' war ended th' purpose fur mannin' th' base ended, tay. a token force was kept thaur fur puckle years, afair th' station was abandoned completely. at 'at time local authorities hud hopes ay turnin' th' system intae a minin' haven, but those hopes waur quickly dashed when th' serpentis corporation occupied th' noo derelict military base. th' move was a stunnin' effrontery tae th' federation, but serpentis hud timed their move weel. a new federal administration was comin' intae power an' it took them several months tae sort themselves it. by 'at time serpentis was firmly entrenched an' when puckle half-hearted attempts tae dislodge them failed, th' federation adopted a policy ay ignorin' th' problem - th' vilinnon system was tay under-developed an' insignificant in their een tae warrant a large military operation. th' serpent’s coil was thaur tae bide.

The location ay th' coil is ay stoatin interest tae astrophysicists. th' military base is located close tae some huir uv a peculiar rock formations floatin' in space. rumors aboond abit their origin, equally divided atween natural explanations fur th' phenomenon an' th' mair intriguin' ones - 'at th' huge rock boolders ur th' result ay some strange experiment noo lang forgotten. th' truth abit th' strange rock formation main aye remain oan th' rumur level while th' coil remains in th' hans ay th' serpentis corporation, which uses th' auld military station as a distribution base fur its illegal merchandise. naturally, it isnae huir uv a fond ay scientists, sightseers ur other space toorists. some say it is coz serpentis discovered th' secrets ay th' coil an' want tae keep them fur itself. naethin' strange abit 'at. trespassers bewaur.

Post mortem

the shower sprayed warm water on 'er crouchen form. rivulets of water ran dowl 'er face an' into 'er clobber, soaken them. she rocked back an' forth, coolen 'er back on the metal wall, then warmen it up agen frum the shower's downpour. various sensations ran through 'er body, the foremost of weege was tiredness. she doy knoo whether ter attribute that ter adrenaline backwash after the night's events, or if it was merely the usual mental exhaustion frum worken in the minen colonoys. she felt loike she cud crouch the'er forever, washen everythen awoy. eventually the clinginess of 'er clobber began ter madden 'er, so she rose an' stripped them off, droppen them where she stood. she glanced dowl an' noticed the tendrils of blood, weege were weaven their woy frum the clothen pile an' into the suff. she sighed, an' combed 'er fingers through 'er hair. a noise sounded, somewhere afar, afar off. she ignored it, closen 'er eyes an' turnen 'er face towards the jet of water. the noise continued; a buzzen, grinden sound, loike floys in a jar. atira rubbed 'er temples. the noise was supplanted by knocken, fust saft, then hammeren. "all roight, boffle, all roight, all roight, I gid up!" she said an' turned off the shower. squeezen the drops ert of 'er hair, she stalked ert of the bathroom an' into the corridor wiouten even botheren ter pick up a toil. she glared through the peephole in 'er front door, then opened it. there stood caleb, 'er co-worker. caleb an' atira were cops in the minen colony's local police force, an' their partnership 'ad miskin forged in its white-hot crucible. it took a special kind of keffle ter lus in this job, ter learn 'oo ter apply the colony's specialized an' often brutal form of justice. an' it took a special kind of keffle ter back yaouw up while yaouw learned the ropes. caleb looked dowl at 'er body, then up agen into 'er eyes. his face showed naaa expression, naither surprise nor interest. police partnerships excluded every other kind. "what?" she said. "figured i'd mek sure yaouw weren't doen anythen noggen yedded." "such as?" "keepen the evidence around. concocten a story that's guin ter sound implausible. yaouw tell me." ee paused. "you're drippen on the flower." she looked dowl, grunted, then walked back into the bathroom. she heard caleb *** in, closen the door behind him. ee followed 'er, trapesin' into the bathroom, an' fer just a fraction of a second she felt a pang of nervousness over the wool situation. but ee doy spare 'er a second glance, stalken instead ter the shower an' turnen off the water, then looken dowl an' gawken at the pile of clobber. "i'm guin ter catlick them," she said. "you be'ah," ee said. "an' not while yom in them, or all yom doen is spreaden his blood over yaouw." "look, fer blartin ert loud, relax." "where's the body?" she walked in front of him an' stood the'er, maulers on hips. "hey!" she said. "do yaouw trussen me or not?" "it's not a question of trussen, an' yaouw doy even need an answer ter that. it's a question of professionalism. we did what we did, an' we yav ter clane up after ourselves, or there'll be beef." "i knoo all this. I just needed ter clear me yed. i'm not a machine loike yoo miskin," she said, in a tone that was half frustration, half grudgen admiration. he nodded. "did yaouw at leus tek care of the body?" "yeah, incinerator. i'm glad I started weightliften agen. the jed am so sad." "you knoo I ood yav *** with yaouw, but I 'ad ter mek sure we were covered. alibis doy just mek themselves up," ee said. she smiled, put a donny on his shoulder. "i knoo. I appreciate it, caleb." "anytime. noo oot ployz wrap yourself in a damn toil or summat?" she loffed at that, raisen 'er maulers. "okoy, okoy. roight awoy, sir." she went into the bedroom ter hunt fer fresh clobber, an' heard his voice shouten after 'er, "what abart the wammel tags?" "in the kitchen!" she shouted back, an' heard him walk the'er. she pulled on sum indoors clobber an' went ter the kitchen, where she crack caleb standen stock still, gawken at a dinky metal bowl. it contained a pair of wammel tags, their metal varnish partly eaten awoy. "he was a pirate?" caleb asked. "yeah. spotted the tags roight before haulen him into incineration. bostin chops, too. they can withstan' explosions, so I doy dare leave them. i'll get sum acid frum the chemlab tomorrer." "what is it with these guys?" caleb said, half ter himself. "even when they're tryen ter loy loo, they get into beef. doy we tek dowl tewthree loike him, lus month?" atira paused, thought. "yes ... yeah, I fink it was tewthree." "serves them roight. I doy knoo why they crop up eya, but nobody threatens an officer. doy knoo where it ood end if we let that happen." "do yaouw ... d'ya ever wonder if we've gone too afar?" she said. caleb looked at 'er. "no," ee said. "no?" "if it weren't fer us, this place wouldn't even exist. it would've torn itself apart. yaouw knoo as well as I does that the type of keffle who guz ter werk in these colonoys taint the type of keffle likely ter yav a stable family loife or personality. these people yav higher thresholds fer everythen, includen pain an' cruelty. normal human beings yaouw can reason with, sometimes, but these guys woo understan' unless yaouw bellile them sound. an' sometimes yaouw yav ter goo furder. this guy followed us around, ee threatened yaouw, an' ee provoked a foight. we cawn stond fer that sort of chops eya, an' this guy, ee was a nobody. ee woo be missed." ee took hold of 'er shoulders an' stared directly into 'er eyes. "don't ever doubt yourself, okoy? they can feel that. it doesn't matter what yaouw does, or 'oo afar yaouw go; what matters is that yaouw react an' yaouw doy ever flinch. yoo miskin never wrong. remember that. yoo miskin never wrong. " she returned his gawk, an' nodded. "thanks. I needed that." "all roight. yaouw guin ter be okoy over eya?" "sure. just need ter dissolve this an' it'll all be gone." "okoy. bostin."

Are you actually writing these or are you cheating and using some sort of program or webpage doohicky?

Soo how many pages do we need to get to before this is classified as a threadnaught?

I've had enough to be honest... going to log into eve and shoot some ships.

inb4lock