Intergalactic Summit

News reaches Gutter Press, from the system of Afnakat, about an impending succession crisis.

Lady Toots, a minor planetary holder of Afnakat V, is now very old, but has not formally named a successor, which is causing some consternation amongst her family.

Such succession crises are not uncommon in some parts of the Kingdom or the Amarr Empire, however this particular crisis is slightly different, for one significant reason.

Lady Toots is a Slaver Hound.

This unusual state of affairs came to be, some 15 years previously, when Lady Toots owner, a Lord Zhada, named her as his heir, to hold the titles and estates in trust, until Lord Zhada's grandchildren were of legal age, as Lord Zhada had considered neither of his immediate children to have the proper moral character to be a Holder.

However, Lady Toots has not made a definite selection as to which of the 3 grandchildren is to be the next Holder, and concern is growing, given her advanced age.

"I should be the next Holder", said Miss Kima, the oldest of the grandchildren. "I am the oldest, so should take priority."
"I am the eldest son, so should be the next Holder", said Master Sarafanin, the only male grandchild.
"Toots likes me the most, I'm obviously her favoured successor", said Miss Nouta, the youngest of the 3 grandchildren.

Opinions of the common people in the Holding, a small coastal province with several fishing villages and some mining villages, were mixed.

"Lady Toots hasn't raised taxes during her reign. I hope her successor continues that trend.", said one man.
"She has a strong sense of justice, which I like. Though I'm not so sure about that whole biting criminals thing", said one woman.
"I'm fairly sure this whole thing has only happened because it amuses King Khanid", said another man.
"I actually met Lady Toots once. I was throwing some balls for my own slaver hound, and she joined in. It was quite fun", said another woman.

Legal experts from the Amarr Empire point out that this sort of thing is surprisingly common in the Khanid Kingdom, where Holders are virtually autonomous and are left to their own devices by King Khanid, unlike in the Empire, where Holder rights and responsibilities are far more codified and subject to the rule of Imperial Law.


Gutter Press. News and Opinions from across the cluster.

I volunteer my services as mediator in this dispute. For a small fee of course.

"But Lady Toots, what big ears you have," we said as we sat on the edge of her bed, wearing a dark red shrug and a long, red sleeved dress.

"The better to hear you with, my dear," the Lady replied.

"But Lady Toots, what big eyes you have," we said as we looked her over, beginning to suspect something was awry with her complexion and countenance.

"The better to see you with, my dear," the Lady replied.

"But Lady Toots, what big teeth you have," we said as our voice started to quiver, perhaps knowing the truth.

"The better to eat you with, my dear," roared the Lady as she leapt out of the bed and knocked us down, licking our face to thank us for the prime cut of Sarum Steaks we'd brought her.