Crime & Punishment

I will teach you how to gank effectively with fits for each ship. The following one hour classes are available with the price:

Industrial ganking with Vexors and Tornados. - 1 Billion.
Shuttle and Rookieship killing with Thrashers and Catalysts. - 1 Billion.
Pod killing with Thrashers. - 1 Billion.
T1/T2 Mining Barge/Exhumer killing with Catalysts. - 1 Billion.
Soloing freighters with a billion alts. (minimum 7) - 2 Billion.
Hyperdunking. - 2 Billion.
POS ganking. - 3 Billion.

If any of these classes interest you, send me an eve mail in game. All of these classes last up to an hour (with a demonstration at the end.) Spreadsheets and exclusive access to other helpful information will be given to you during the class.

Yours truly,

Globby

Liason to the Executor | CODE Treasurer | Soldier of the New Order | Official Ganking Instructor

If you can convince four other antigankers to all take the class at once I will drop the price to half off and instead teach 'BEST WAYS TO COUNTER SAID GANKING STRATEGY' class instead.

You are literally the last person I would trust with ISK in any amount.

Can I pay in bacon and/or sexual favours instead?

I suppose there isn't any disputing that.

or we could establish guidelines

didnt really think it through but please, its a simple fix, stop being so negative

I wouldnt even charge isk. One successful antigank youll have erryone throwin isk at you. /me rubs hands. Im in, where do i send the freighter. i mean. ummm. the velator.

anyone who pays for this scam has truly lost his or her marbles haha

Good morning, Starbuck05!

I agree with you insofar as the cost of Globby’s tutorial seems unreasonably high. Of course, that very much depends on several factors not outlined in his pitch.

Firstly there is the time factor. You pay CCP hf in order to log in to the game; that is, you pay real money. Globby has presumably factored that in to his final tally. Each student will require different levels of support and guidance and will therefore make unquantifiable demands upon his time.

Most of us have either learned from more experienced players in our Corp or done the necessary background work of reading. Some players do the tutorials and then head straight out to ….mine. If these players fancy rolling a gank alt with Globby as tutor, they’ll probably need instructing from scratch. Believe me, I’ve met quite a few of them in my quest for adventure. They are also the players who are likely to have the odd billion floating around.

There is also the cost of the T1 or T2 Catalysts; it isn’t clear whether these will be funded by the tutor or not. Typical module drops from downed Catalysts are not great, and Retrievers (for example) are rarely generous loot-wise.

If, as you suggest, the would-be acolyte could simply ‘log on 2 throwaway alts’ and ‘go gank a miner’, there would surely be a requirement for a minimum of 2 accounts (i.e. possibly a third to provide the warp-in/looter); not something everybody wants or can afford. Better to use a spare alt on your main account, let Globby work his stuff, providing the (his, paid-for) support and then decide whether you want to take it further.

As for miner-ganking being ‘that simple’, I agree that the bare facts of the matter do have a kind of alluring directness about them:

Undock

Warp to target

Lock

Scram

Shoot

Success!

But you know as well as I do that the devil is in the detail here; and it is disingenuous of you to suggest that even the most straightforward solo gank doesn’t involve a certain amount of crucial work in the setting up, execution and successful rounding-off of the attempt.

Things go wrong. I messed up a ‘simple’ gank only yesterday. My own fault; didn’t follow my in-built checklist, then fingers n thumbs!

So, there is also the stuff that Globby will have to teach about what to do when things don’t go to plan. When an anti-ganker appears, for instance (although that is very rare…).

All this takes time; Globby’s time. Why should he distil an EVE’s lifetime’s teaching for the benefit of a student, for nothing?

Starbuck05, I look to you to write the definitive ganking guide and offer it to the playerbase. It shouldn’t take long, based on your comment!

Throw away alts?
So do you suggest I train up 2 characters to use a catalyst, gank with them and then biomass them both? It's really that simple? And you don't see any issues with that?