Intergalactic Summit

An excerpt from the journals of Cain Aloga,

"What is Identity, to drive men to madness in its search?

My own people where robbed of our identity centuries ago by a conquering force so sure of their own place among the stars, that the very skies of our home worlds were set ablaze. Now, after more than a century of freedom, we still struggle to rediscover our identity. The Gallante, the great ally who aided us in our rebellion, and continue to be my people’s steadfast friend, imparted onto us a part of theirs so that we may grow and prosper. For many years we lived under this borrowed identity, even as we looked to make our own. Yet it seemed so fragile in its existence that we growled, barked, and howled at every perceived threat with little regard to whom it was directed at. I myself am guilty of this. This year among the Thukker, in search of the Elders has taught me at least that much.

I am convinced that all the great struggles of this universe are struggles of Identity."

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I find myself returning to this passage time and time again, even after a year has passed since it was written. I set off more than two years ago, to walk amongst the spirits, as it is known in my Clan and Tribe. I searched for the Elders, who had given us so much hope, given us pride in our heritage, but more importantly, who brought back the lost tribes to us, making our people whole. I wished find them and to aid in them in their efforts. I realize now that I searched for Identity, both my own, and that of my people.

My walk with the spirits is now at an end and I return to the Republic, a tribesmen determined to improve the lot of his Tribe, and of his people.

I find the challenge of identity is greatly complicated by it's mutability. We desire it to be fixed, to have a point - either of origin or destination - yet we too often allow ourselves to see 'identity' through the lens of others and their opinions. Our great tribes have ancient identity, and every clan and family and person and ancestor within those circles both contribute to, divert from, and ultimately subvert the tradition. Each us us tells the story in our own way.

Yet the tale resonates differently in the ears of each listener, and the teller adjusts the tale to each audience. The Matari are too fond of allowing outsiders to define us, to grasping foreign narratives as if they define us. We accept given identity as victim, as weak, as 'primitive' - always as a character in someone else's story, rather than crafting the story and creating it from new. There are many interests that prefer it that way.

Would that more of us took the spirit walk you speak of, kinsman. Duty is worthy, but constrictive. Reflection in silence, in exile, away from the things of man, indeed can bring enlightenment about who we are - and ultimately who we wish to be.

I look forward to listening to your story. The fire is warm and welcoming.

You know who you are. The problem is that people think on things like this for too long - you should answer all important questions within the space of seven breaths. Any longer and you become prey to second-guessing, over rationalisation and self doubt.

Who are you? You are you.

That... does not mean anything...

Tuulinen has the right of it, but he starts at the end rather than the beginning of the path.

Who are you?

It's a question used among my clan's volur and shaman to remind oneself to return to one's center. To return to the present, while fully aware of both the future and the past. It's a question that is usually never meant to have an answer, as it either encompasses too much at once - every decision you've ever made, every external influence that has been wrought upon you, your very genetic make-up and the spirit you carry - or far too little - a name, a title, a task or a position in society. The question is simply meant to make you focus for a little while on your own mind and spirit, to reaffirm oneself in one's purpose and goals, or face changes or unpleasant truths about yourself.

Who am I? Born and raised in the Empire and their faith. Am I Amarr? A slave? No. Freed and crippled. Am I a burden? An intruder? A lost child off the path? No. I can go on throughout my entire life like this, counting my strengths and weaknesses, victories and failures, blood and spirit all and the question will remain unanswered in a satisfactory manner for I am all the things I have been and I am all the things I will become.

I am me, not defined by anything but myself and even that is a flawed definition until the day comes when my insight is perfect and that day will never come.

Who are you? It doesn't matter. What matters is trying to find out, because that is the only way to be true to yourself and your path in New Eden. If anyone else tries to tell you who you are, walk past them as if they are nothing but air, for they will never have your best in mind.

Please explain?

You are 'you'... Who is 'you'? What does that solve?

This is a driving question behind a lot of the "Children of Naught" writings. As such, I think it's kind of a dangerous creature.

At that time, I'd been living a life in the shadow of a lot of things other people thought I was: halfblood, not really Achura; a murderer's daughter; an embarrassment; a useless burden.

I probably became a capsuleer with all that roaring in my ears. Instead of silencing those voices, though, I started adding to them.

Dead woman's ghost; preta; doppelganger.

Blame's maybe not something you just put all on yourself or all on others. I may have been pretty harsh in defining myself, but when I had the opportunity to destroy someone I saw as instrumental in making me who I was, I took it.

Murderer; kinslayer.

Demon; vengeful specter; curse.

Kumiho.

Monster.



I don't remember any of that.

That's probably for the best.

These days, I call myself a wanderer, capsuleer ... kind of a misfit, even here in PY-RE. (I make a weird mercenary.)

That's all okay.

In my heart, though, I guess I'm still a seeker. I still want to see. I still want to understand. But who I am is less important. I'm just a fragment of the world, a small one (and not even a fragment that's broken off).

If I can understand the world, I'm sure who I am will be clear. And, if not, that's probably a good sign that I don't understand properly yet.

When you find yourself at the bottom of a well, do you spend a week contemplating the moist darkness of your existence? Do you start planning out a new life as a blind cave-fish? Or do you try and see if you can wedge yourself up if you stretch out your arms and legs?

How strange to be so in accord with someone I've always thought of as an intractable enemy.

She's right Jev - by all means stretch and see if you can reach, but if the person you are is too damn short to reach a handhold then you'd better either start looking for a wedge or a box unless you can work out how to grow taller.

Accepting who we are doesn't mean not then going on to change who we are - but it should be pointed out that true change is as hard as growing taller.

I admire the Republic - especially now that it is seeking to develop as itself again and not as an offshoot of the Federation. I know exactly what you mean about the disappointment you describe.