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Khanid Navy patrol makes horrifying discovery !

Author
Shirley Serious
Gutter Press
#1 - 2015-07-17 19:30:24 UTC
Horrifying news reaches Gutter Press today, of a disturbing discovery made by the Royal Khanid Navy whilst engaged in routine suppression of Blood Raider space infrastructure.

Worrying !

A Covenant associated Bestower was intercepted and boarded by the RKN, which revealed an unpalatable cargo.

The cargo manifest claimed that the Bestower was transporting "Gallente ice cream", and the barrels and vats on board did indeed appear to contain an ice-cream like substance.

Biochemical analysis revealed however, that the "Gallente ice cream" did not match known ice cream varieties from the Federation. Neither Caille goat milk nor Lirsautton cow milk proved a match for the substances on board the Bestower.

Baffling !

To their horror, the RKN analysis team found that the "Gallente ice cream" was a biochemical match for human milk, adding further horror to the activities carried out at the Blood Raiders so-called "human farms".

Disgusting !

Gutter Press asked several Khanid Kingdom citizens for their opinion.

"We should punish the Sani Sabik worlds for this. Not one brick left on top of another, not one blade of grass left standing. They have sown the whirlwind, and shall reap the hurricane of God's Wrath", said a Royal Khanid Navy officer.
"Gallente milk? You mean... oh goodness, that's horrifying", said a Khitaled resident.
"Just when you think the Sani Sabik could not be any more depraved, another atrocity is revealed.", said a Palas theologian.


In other news from the Sani Sabik worlds, it appears that a conflict is brewing between rival cultists, over the correct method of sacrificing people to their false god.

One faction claims to only use volunteers, another claims to use specially cloned sacrifices, and both claim their methods are superior to those of the Covenant.

A Khanid expert on the Sani Sabik had this to say: "Whenever the Sani Sabik disagree with each other, the result is always a violent war until one or more of the opposing opinions is eradicated, resulting in fewer Sani Sabik, which is always a good thing."


One thing is certain. The Sani Sabik will continue to blaspheme against God, and the Royal Khanid Navy will endeavour to eradicate them once and for all.

Gutter Press. News.

Just the facts.

Utari Onzo
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#2 - 2015-07-17 19:35:21 UTC
Glad to see the heretics at each other's throats if this is true.

"Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil"

Odelya d'Hanguest
Order of St. Severian
#3 - 2015-07-17 20:14:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Odelya d'Hanguest
Appalling!
Utari Onzo wrote:
Glad to see the heretics at each other's throats if this is true.
Well of course it is true, Gutter Press is reporting, not the Scope...
Utari Onzo
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#4 - 2015-07-17 22:04:43 UTC
Odelya d'Hanguest wrote:
Appalling!
Utari Onzo wrote:
Glad to see the heretics at each other's throats if this is true.
Well of course it is true, Gutter Press is reporting, not the Scope...



I like to have my breakfast and evening news with a large dose of salt and a little seasoning of humour.

"Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil"

Sinjin Mokk
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#5 - 2015-07-18 00:02:36 UTC
I think maybe it's time to go visit the old homestead for a bit. Get a little exercise...

"Angels live, they never die, Apart from us, behind the sky. They're fading souls who've turned to ice, So ashen white in paradise."

Matar Ronin
#6 - 2015-07-18 00:35:56 UTC  |  Edited by: Matar Ronin
Honestly at this stage in the history of the New Eden Cluster the depravity of the demonic slavery cultists regardless of their regional variety should not surprise anyone.

There is nothing too sick or too low for them to inflict on others in the name of their false deity.

See them for what they really are and stop fooling yourself into considering them a religious culture, they are culturally predators living off the flesh and labor of fellow human beings.

Today's allies will be on the "reclaiming" menu tomorrow.

‘Vain flame burns fast/and its lick is light/Modest flame lasts long/and burns to the bone.’

" We lost a war we chose not to fight." Without a doubt this is the best way to lose any war and the worst excuse to explain the beating afterwards.

Anyanka Funk
Doomheim
#7 - 2015-07-18 01:42:40 UTC
Yet another non-news overreaction by gutter. It's purified slave milk ice cream for children. Big deal. It's healthier than the genetically modified crap they sell in empire space. This is why the covenant's eugenics program produces the purest and strongest specimens.
Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#8 - 2015-07-18 07:50:52 UTC
I don't think that Cultists lied that it was Gallente ice cream made from Gallente milk.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#9 - 2015-07-18 22:10:51 UTC
I cannot believe I have never thought of obtaining milk in this way. Thank you Gutter Press!

(That said, you committed clear journalistic bias by referring to the Sani Sabik God as a "false god".)
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#10 - 2015-07-19 05:40:09 UTC
Nauplius wrote:
I cannot believe I have never thought of obtaining milk in this way. Thank you Gutter Press!

"Also: Bwahahaha!"

... gods and spirits.
Anyanka Funk
Doomheim
#11 - 2015-07-19 05:53:56 UTC
Nauplius wrote:
I cannot believe I have never thought of obtaining milk in this way. Thank you Gutter Press!

(That said, you committed clear journalistic bias by referring to the Sani Sabik God as a "false god".)

Your mama never gave you the tit?
Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#12 - 2015-07-19 07:04:32 UTC
Anyanka Funk wrote:
Nauplius wrote:
I cannot believe I have never thought of obtaining milk in this way. Thank you Gutter Press!

(That said, you committed clear journalistic bias by referring to the Sani Sabik God as a "false god".)

Your mama never gave you the tit?


Probably because he was raised by slaves.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Andreus Ixiris
Duty.
WE FORM V0LTA
#13 - 2015-07-19 13:14:26 UTC
Wow, a Gutter Press story that was genuinely rather than merely metaphorically nauseating.

Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.

Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.

Andreus Ixiris > ...

Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.