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How does a Gallente serviceman pilot a Hecate?
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Goldfinch
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2015-07-07 13:22:46 UTC

We suppose the old adage holds true.. the best way to pilot a Gallente ship is to get out and push!

The Federation Navy misplacing their entire stock of Hecate training manuals is either the sign of a systemic issue of discipline in the organization, or simply the result of a Navy administrator snoozing during duty hours. Perhaps Ms. Kim will have some insight on this gaff.






And yes Mr. Ouilliam. This was entirely tongue-in-cheek! Blink


\J/

veiled and bound

my origin story (on eve-backstage)
Mizhir
Devara Biotech
#2 - 2015-07-07 14:16:53 UTC  |  Edited by: Mizhir
Rumours says that the blame is to be put on the Drifters as Secure Commence Commission's transport of the skillbooks got intercepted by them.

❤️️💛💚💙💜
Liam Antolliere
Doomheim
#3 - 2015-07-07 17:21:20 UTC
The same way we pilot most of our ships, by laying in bed (or on the couch) with a controller in our hands and a nice view screen in front of us. Push the circular button to turn the machine on and use the controller to issue movement and commands.

I hope the UI on the Hecate is better than the Atron's, it's really starting to show its age.

I hear we may be getting virtual reality suits and headsets soon, that will certainly make the entire ordeal more immersive.

"Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
Pieter Tuulinen
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#4 - 2015-07-07 17:59:30 UTC
Ahhh, the Atron. I've been restoring a captured Atron as a hobby project recently and I'm damned if I can find out where the FDU mandated stripper pole is supposed to be installed in the main cockpit.

It's very frustrating.

For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.
Liam Antolliere
Doomheim
#5 - 2015-07-07 19:58:35 UTC
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Ahhh, the Atron. I've been restoring a captured Atron as a hobby project recently and I'm damned if I can find out where the FDU mandated stripper pole is supposed to be installed in the main cockpit.

It's very frustrating.


That would be just left of the "spare uniform" locker behind the co-pilot seat so it's evenly spaced between both pilot seats and in easy view. Also, don't forget to attach the bottom of the pole to the retraction wheels so you can raise and lower it at will.

There's more detailed instructions in the owner's manual, section 69.

"Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
Goldfinch
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2015-07-08 01:42:02 UTC

Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Ahhh, the Atron. I've been restoring a captured Atron as a hobby project recently and I'm damned if I can find out where the FDU mandated stripper pole is supposed to be installed in the main cockpit.

It's very frustrating.


It should be noted that said pole should have a consecrated trap door installed which drops the pole user into a tunnel leading straight to Hell, ah.. post-performance of course. We are sure we remember this regulatory requirement in an Amarr spiritual ergonomics handbook somewhere..

Blink

\J/

veiled and bound

my origin story (on eve-backstage)
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2015-07-08 01:59:50 UTC
Goldfinch wrote:

Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Ahhh, the Atron. I've been restoring a captured Atron as a hobby project recently and I'm damned if I can find out where the FDU mandated stripper pole is supposed to be installed in the main cockpit.

It's very frustrating.


It should be noted that said pole should have a consecrated trap door installed which drops the pole user into a tunnel leading straight to Hell, ah.. post-performance of course. We are sure we remember this regulatory requirement in an Amarr spiritual ergonomics handbook somewhere..

Blink



Atron is not an Amarr-designed frigate.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Liam Antolliere
Doomheim
#8 - 2015-07-08 02:11:50 UTC
Goldfinch wrote:

Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Ahhh, the Atron. I've been restoring a captured Atron as a hobby project recently and I'm damned if I can find out where the FDU mandated stripper pole is supposed to be installed in the main cockpit.

It's very frustrating.


It should be noted that said pole should have a consecrated trap door installed which drops the pole user into a tunnel leading straight to Hell, ah.. post-performance of course. We are sure we remember this regulatory requirement in an Amarr spiritual ergonomics handbook somewhere..

Blink




And people say only the Gallente utilize propaganda.

That "trap door" is what we Gallente call the "Stairway to Heaven" and it leads straight to the captain's quarters.

Obviously simply to allow the performer a bit of privacy and hospitality after the performance.

"Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
Pieter Tuulinen
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#9 - 2015-07-08 04:11:18 UTC
Liam Antolliere wrote:
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Ahhh, the Atron. I've been restoring a captured Atron as a hobby project recently and I'm damned if I can find out where the FDU mandated stripper pole is supposed to be installed in the main cockpit.

It's very frustrating.


That would be just left of the "spare uniform" locker behind the co-pilot seat so it's evenly spaced between both pilot seats and in easy view. Also, don't forget to attach the bottom of the pole to the retraction wheels so you can raise and lower it at will.

There's more detailed instructions in the owner's manual, section 69.



That cannot be a spare uniform locker, it's far too small for an entire uniform.

What do you mean those two rags ARE the uniform?

For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.
Pieter Tuulinen
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#10 - 2015-07-08 04:12:45 UTC
Liam Antolliere wrote:
Goldfinch wrote:

Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Ahhh, the Atron. I've been restoring a captured Atron as a hobby project recently and I'm damned if I can find out where the FDU mandated stripper pole is supposed to be installed in the main cockpit.

It's very frustrating.


It should be noted that said pole should have a consecrated trap door installed which drops the pole user into a tunnel leading straight to Hell, ah.. post-performance of course. We are sure we remember this regulatory requirement in an Amarr spiritual ergonomics handbook somewhere..

Blink




And people say only the Gallente utilize propaganda.

That "trap door" is what we Gallente call the "Stairway to Heaven" and it leads straight to the captain's quarters.

Obviously simply to allow the performer a bit of privacy and hospitality after the performance.


Here is an unusual case of both pilots being right at the same time. Liam is correct that the tube goes to the Captain's Quarters and Ms Goldfinch is correct in saying that it leads straight to Hell...

For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#11 - 2015-07-08 11:51:06 UTC
Goldfinch wrote:

We suppose the old adage holds true.. the best way to pilot a Gallente ship is to get out and push!

The Federation Navy misplacing their entire stock of Hecate training manuals is either the sign of a systemic issue of discipline in the organization, or simply the result of a Navy administrator snoozing during duty hours. Perhaps Ms. Kim will have some insight on this gaff.






And yes Mr. Ouilliam. This was entirely tongue-in-cheek! Blink



Gallente never had discipline, they simply have hordes of freedom-loving fanatics, who fight their ships like monkeys with grenades.

Don't worry, we are working on this problem. One federal swine at a time.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
Mizhir
Devara Biotech
#12 - 2015-07-08 13:28:56 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
, who fight their ships like monkeys with grenades.


Must be an effective tactic since the Caldari Militia are attempting to copy it.

❤️️💛💚💙💜
Tony-Vagabond Carter
Chrysos Aigis
#13 - 2015-07-08 14:27:01 UTC
"How does a Gallente serviceman pilot a Hecate?"

I caught this on the ultra late holo-show with Je-leno... the punchline of course is..

"By a 2/3'rds Majority vote!"

If I refuse to sell you a pie, for the sake of my beliefs or yours.. who really loses out here? Me. I will have lost a sale and possibly future sales, and you will just go to another pie-maker!
Michael Pawlicki
Mouth Trumpet Cavalry.
Mouth Trumpet Cavalry
#14 - 2015-07-08 15:02:20 UTC
Mizhir wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
, who fight their ships like monkeys with grenades.


Must be an effective tactic since the Caldari Militia are attempting to copy it.


Don't remind me about CalMil, I'm still torn up about the recent lapses and loss.