Intergalactic Summit

I would say I've killed so many people at this point that I would feel it particularly disingenuous to say I am not a murderer and a killer. Although my honest thoughts probably does come with a lack of tact, and my intention was not to pass judgement upon yourself as much as provide personal clarification.

And no, I do not feel compassion is a weakness, but neither do I feel others worthy of mine by default simply by virtue that they exist.

As for the state of my soul I suppose much like my better nature it is non-existent at this point.

Hm.

... you sound a little like my former self. The tone, as much as the content, though there is some of that in common. The willingness to think of yourself as something ...

... other.

Something dark.

I don't know if it's a state of mind I can imagine having, though obviously I once could. It seems ... like a little bit of a sad way to live.

I don't mean that as a judgment on you, either, even if it sounds a little like one. It's just that I keep coming upon people, some old friends, some new, who are borne down under the world's weight: impossible duties, horrible responsibilities, crushing anger, frustration, guilt.

Deep wells, overflowing with bitterness.

You seem to have embraced your role as a weapon of mass destruction, training for an apocalyptic war no one is likely to win. Strange as it might sound, that makes you one of the more stable examples I've seen lately: you're pursuing something that could actually happen, and your sense of purpose is still intact.

I'm not even sure it's all the same phenomenon I've been seeing ... but it seems like it's possible for people to sacrifice a lot of themselves, pursuing what they believe.


Someone has to do dirty work, Directrix. The world's not so courteous as to let it go undone, and I'm not really the sort of person to ask that others do what I won't.

Some see the faction wars as pointless, stupid things. To my eye they're pressure valves, giving the empires an outlet for their tensions without risking a war that would actually put Ms. Gesakaarin's skills to the use she's preparing them for.

I don't mean to ennoble what I'm doing too far, though. Aldrith got this much right: I'm a mercenary; my fee is insight. In exchange for that, I'm willing to do the tasks the world wants done by a capsuleer.

This is such a task.

To do this particular task properly....

It's hard to bring in a good harvest without focusing on agriculture.

Respectfully, Directrix, that seems like a classically academic declaration-- theoretically correct, but pretty far removed from practicalities.

Certainly, some understanding of the context in which an expert in any field works is helpful, and the universe is full of topics worth exploring, but ...

... do you really mean to say that a plumber's primary focus should be on the greater good of humankind, and not on plumbing?

Do I seem so uncomfortable in my own skin, Mr. Wassenar?

I suppose everyone reacts to existential realizations and the nihilism of being a capsuleer in different ways. Some I suppose become embittered, or maybe they find God, a political ideology or even a technocratic messiah so as to find fulfillment through dogma and doctrinal thought. I really don't have much time for any of that.

I just live by a simple creed: Embrace death; savour life.

I know who I am. What I am. It's always one thing to realize the shadow beneath the persona one constructs for oneself, Ms. Jenneth, but it is another to step into that dark and leave the old delusions behind. I certainly do not feel any extra weight upon these shoulders -- metaphysical or otherwise.

That's probably the best I can elaborate without boring myself. Take from it what you will, or nothing at all.

Oh, and to be uncaring does not mean to be unfeeling.

I suppose. Although....

I'm not sure that's so much me being uncomfortable with myself as people thinking I ought to be.

I do not think... that they were duped that much...

Caspuleers fight against each other, or do the empires wishes as weapons to deal with external threats... Destructions creates a need for industry, industry gets financed by money funneled in our little economic bubble for bounties, rewards, etc. Taxes are paid for each industrial job, taxes getting back in through the SCC.

Capsuleers are cogs in a financial and military machine, and have been since the beginning. The machine in question is improved and polished every day by new additions to the possibilities capsuleers are offered.

They call it, 'content'.

I think of us as the cluster's slightly overactive immune system, really, with ISK the pyrogen to keep our fever going.

No, the analogy is quite apt, except the auto-immune disorder runs much deeper than that as it attacks all cells in the body of humanity. Of course, some packs of cells do behave and seek out the most dire threats above all else, but the rest are a disorganized mass mindlessly attacking the biggest, flashiest targets, including each other and a few vital organs.

Only ... wouldn't that make us more like a virus?

If so, there's no reason to maintain or support an entity like that. If we're so destructive, all but the most well-behaved should be destroyed. And it's not like we're a free-roaming, uncontrolled viral infestation.

There are built-in limits on our behavior: objects we can't destroy, regardless of our firepower; objects (such as planetary cities) we can't even lock without assistance from the ground. We don't glass planets, not because we don't have the inclination (some of us probably do), but because we literally can't. Our interfaces never give us the option to try.

The true laws of our kind work on us like laws of nature: we literally can't break them. The rest are sort of polite suggestions, sometimes backed by a threat of ship loss.

We're like this because we're allowed, even encouraged, to be like this, and despite Directrix Mithra's steadfast belief in free will, this outcome was so predictable that it must be intentional.

So ...


Entry Eight: Form

... in effect, what the empires have intentionally created in us is a collection of extremely heavily-armed barbarian tribes. We're chaotic and unruly, but therefore also too fractious to pose much of a threat to the great powers. We're individually powerful, skilled, more or less self-maintaining, and can be easily encouraged to do various sorts of dirty work for a reward.

Importantly, we don't represent the unbalanced gathering of power in any one empire's hands. Instead, we're sort of a resource pool shared among all of them. This avoids one potential nightmare scenario: a capsuleer arms race, in which each Empire churns out military Empyreans as fast as it's able in order to have the highest possible strength in numbers. With the relative ease of producing pods, but the difficulty of producing capsuleers, that's not a race any empire could be sure of winning, but which could be hugely destructive if anyone gained a significant advantage for any length of time for any reason at all.

If this is indeed a scenario the empires were aiming to avoid, then, bizarrely, our own chaotic character is a stabilizing factor. If room is made for us, we will expand to fill it. If resources are intelligently expended to encourage behavior X, behavior X will predictably occur. The (usually subtle) limits on our behavior allow us to be handled fairly safely, as long as, for example, things the empires really don't want blown up are designated as such.

We can be used to get work done, but we'll never side dependably enough with any one faction for any empire to plan a full-scale war against the others based on our cooperation.

We're trained so that we can be made use of, and tolerated for the same reason. We're independent so we won't create destabilizing concentrations of power. We're limited and divided-- perhaps even pitted against each other-- so that we won't bring about nightmare scenarios ourselves.

We're a resource to be used. And use us they do.