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Grand Reopening: Ye Olde Space Elfe Space Pube
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Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#1 - 2015-06-20 11:15:57 UTC
Greetings and salutations, spacemans!

Long hath I been away wandering the space elf space forests of my youth. Chance and circumstance hath given me occasion to journey to the system of Amarr! Chance and circumstance hath given me occasion to stay in Jita for now instead!

Alas, I travelled back to my Pube to find that it hath been boarded over in my absence. (I should've ne'er left Unreliable Space Elf in charge. His heart is in the right place, but his business acumen is somewhat lacking.)

No matter. The squatters hath been exterminated and/or pressed into service. The pantries and wine cellar and wine dungeon hath been restocked. Ye Olde Pube is once again in business! Pull up a chair, let me pour you a glass of Space Elf Space Wine. Let us enjoy each other for awhile.

I also repeat my humble request:
If you see a space elf, please send them this way. If you suspect that a companion of your is a space elf, suggest their name that I might judge them. If you yourself suspect a latent space elfiness, by all means speak up, that ye may be appraised!

Drink up, spacemans, and let us be merry!
Liam Antolliere
Doomheim
#2 - 2015-06-20 11:49:36 UTC
I'd wager there's a neurochemical imbalance at fault for this.

I'm almost certain of it...

"Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
Lord Kailethre
Tengoo Uninstallation Service
#3 - 2015-06-20 11:59:10 UTC
Is my translator working right?
Half of this is gibberish pretending that it sounds like real words.

Also what in His name is a space elf? Is this a fresh new cult?
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#4 - 2015-06-20 12:01:43 UTC
Liam Antolliere wrote:
I'd wager there's a neurochemical imbalance at fault for this.

I'm almost certain of it...


Hail and well met spaceman! I'm sorry to hear that your brain essences are out of check. Might I recommend some space elf space wine? I recommend some space elf space wine.

I know you didn't ask, but I might as well let you know: you appear to be 0% space elf.
Rodj Blake
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#5 - 2015-06-20 12:03:02 UTC  |  Edited by: Rodj Blake
I really think that we don't need to know about your old pube.

Dolce et decorum est pro Imperium mori
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#6 - 2015-06-20 12:06:23 UTC  |  Edited by: Average Space Elf
Lord Kailethre wrote:
Is my translator working right?
Half of this is gibberish pretending that it sounds like real words.

Also what in His name is a space elf? Is this a fresh new cult?


Spacemans words are perversions of space elfin poetry, spaceman.

What is a Space Elf? I can only offer myself as an example.

If you have any elfin blood in you, you're presenting it in a very artless way. I suspect that you long for an elfinhood you can never achieve, whether you know it or not.

Also, "His"? Who is "he"? Please don't tell me you're referring to God! (Though, come to think of it, she was never particularly particular about pronouns...)
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#7 - 2015-06-20 12:07:25 UTC
Rodj Blake wrote:
I really think that we don't need to know about your old pube.


And yet you are drawn to my establishment nonetheless. Blink

Have some wine! Wine for all.

You, too, did not ask, but you are not at all a Space Elf.
Utari Onzo
Escalated.
OnlyFleets.
#8 - 2015-06-20 12:29:55 UTC
Salve, Space Elf. Are there any space dragons hiding in that dungeon of yours? If so, I know several space paladins and space priests who might assist in removing those particular pests.

"Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil"
Jev North
Doomheim
#9 - 2015-06-20 12:31:15 UTC
You know, the saddest thing to happen to me so far in the Amarr militia was being promoted out of Paladin Crusader. It has such a nice ring to it.

Even though our love is cruel; even though our stars are crossed.
Jade Blackwind
#10 - 2015-06-20 12:33:37 UTC
Are Space Trolls allowed?
iyammarrok
Drunken Beaver Mining
#11 - 2015-06-20 13:38:01 UTC
Space Pube....

Ok... Has to be mentioned that the correct 'olde worlde' vernacular should be Pubbe...

This both looks better, and makes it sound far less disturbing...

I mean, hell... if your bar is in a giant pube... ugh.

Not indicative of corporate policy unless otherwise stated.
Sinjin Mokk
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2015-06-20 13:42:19 UTC
Ok, I'll say it...



"And this is why the Federation must be destroyed!"



*ahem

Thank you.

"Angels live, they never die, Apart from us, behind the sky. They're fading souls who've turned to ice, So ashen white in paradise."
Anyanka Funk
Doomheim
#13 - 2015-06-20 14:46:19 UTC
Where exactly is your pube?
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#14 - 2015-06-20 16:30:43 UTC  |  Edited by: Average Space Elf
Utari Onzo wrote:
Salve, Space Elf. Are there any space dragons hiding in that dungeon of yours? If so, I know several space paladins and space priests who might assist in removing those particular pests.


Tidings!

Space Dragons are an integral part of the Space Ecosystem, playing the much needed role of removing the stupider spacemans. Pests? Pah.

And no, there are no space dragons in the wine dungeon. They care not for the stuff. They're shy creatures, best left to frolicking in space forests (as is their wont).

Also: 0% elf.
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#15 - 2015-06-20 16:35:50 UTC  |  Edited by: Average Space Elf
Jev North wrote:
You know, the saddest thing to happen to me so far in the Amarr militia was being promoted out of Paladin Crusader. It has such a nice ring to it.


Hail, Jev of the North!

Funny you should mention that. "Paladin" is a spaceman word derived from the elfin word for "tool".

As an aside, there are few sadder perversions of Space Elfness than those perpetrated by the Caldari. It isn't your fault, but it always saddens me to see it. If you are any part Elf, it has been shown the wrong way to manifest.
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#16 - 2015-06-20 16:39:06 UTC
Jade Blackwind wrote:
Are Space Trolls allowed?


Jade of the Blackwind!

I am unfamiliar with "Space Trolls", could you describe them?

You are (perhaps) the most elfin all those who have stopped by since the grand reopening. In your present state it is somewhat difficult to tell if you were Born of Space Forests.
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#17 - 2015-06-20 16:44:30 UTC
iyammarrok wrote:
Space Pube....

Ok... Has to be mentioned that the correct 'olde worlde' vernacular should be Pubbe...

This both looks better, and makes it sound far less disturbing...

I mean, hell... if your bar is in a giant pube... ugh.


Goode Sire Iyammarrok;

That all depends on the "worlde" in question now doesn't it? That way looks better to your spaceman eyes/ears/brain and/or various other organs, maybe. Not to mine. Blink

The fact that you chafe at the true spelling merely reinforces the fact that you are not a space elf.

Tell me, though; why are you spacemans so obsessed with the word "Pube"?
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#18 - 2015-06-20 16:50:38 UTC
Sinjin Mokk wrote:
Ok, I'll say it...



"And this is why the Federation must be destroyed!"



*ahem

Thank you.



Spaceman Mokk!

A grand proclamation, for sure! I rather you wouldn't, though. The Gallente spacemans tend to be the most fun. Not the best customers, though (those would be the embarrassed Amarrmans). The Federation was also kind enough to help me out with a certain... paperwork issue, and for that I owe them my thanks.

Your elfness, if it exists (it doesn't), is shown at the most superficial of levels. Not that this is a mark against you. It isn't. Smile
Average Space Elf
Praise Coleslaw
#19 - 2015-06-20 16:54:04 UTC
Anyanka Funk wrote:
Where exactly is your pube?


Dearest Anyanka!

Jita 4-4, of course! I often find myself back there, between space forest romps. It has become a bit of a home away from home. Were you born of the space forests, dearest Anyanka? I cannot tell from where I am standing.

That should take care of everyone for now. Grab your glasses everyone, and drink deep! Enjoy the wine and/or each other on this happy day. Big smile
Anyanka Funk
Doomheim
#20 - 2015-06-20 21:15:09 UTC
Average Space Elf wrote:
Anyanka Funk wrote:
Where exactly is your pube?


Dearest Anyanka!

Jita 4-4, of course! I often find myself back there, between space forest romps. It has become a bit of a home away from home. Were you born of the space forests, dearest Anyanka? I cannot tell from where I am standing.

That should take care of everyone for now. Grab your glasses everyone, and drink deep! Enjoy the wine and/or each other on this happy day. Big smile


I was born and raised on Hek V. How can you tell if someone was born of the space forests anyway?
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