Wormholes

Dear TF,
What is the most stylish ship to do wormhole hunting in?
I am sick of using T3s and want to try something out of the box that has never been seen before.



Regards,
Lodestone of Gamis

Dear Sir Lodestone "The Nereus" of Gamis,

Given my fifth job as EVE Style Commentator for EVE FashionBlog you have come to the right place to learn about the hottest new trends in wormhole hunting fashions. I myself used to be a fashionable chap, rolling around in the Nereus everywhere. I was surrounded by papparazzo, always saying hurtful things like "lol, TF" when they saw the Planet Dollaz on d-scan or jumping a hole.

The question is, of course, one of taste. I personally find the nereus to be a very stylish ship, wih it's olive green and burnished steel space trucking motif. It is kind of an homage to working class values, which may not suit the vibe of a high class party where everyone has bejewelled space gourds around their privates, adorned with feathers from exotic birds ound in far away jungles (eg, sentient modules from Oasa).

Of course, black is always in fashion. You could try rolling around in a Khanid skinned ship. it is very minimalist, severe, with a kind of dark sinister military chic - like the middle-ranked officer in various past totalitarian regimes. It looks the part, but of course, the oracle is a substandard solo machine unless one chooses to solo a POCO in which case you can look snappy while AFK.

The advent of the new marauder skins gives you the ability, like a footballer's wife, to roll around in an incredibly bling chip with a shiny paintjob and giant 23" chrome spinner rims. All the kids will come out to play when you helicopter that through a wormhole, clustering around your pimp ride like diseased orphans in Bangalore confronting a corrupt kleptocrat's Bughatti Veyron rolling down the main drag of the slums. Not safe, but certainly worthy of respect and chutzpah.

if you are feeling more traditonalist, you can always rock a Drake. it might be the aunty's sweater of combat ships, but it is comforting to know that when you undock a Drake not only are you despised and ridiculed, you are known for what you really are, which is a terrible piece of obvious bait, with no surprises up your sleeve. Unless you go the armour ECm RLML Drake in the W-R. That's style points.

Finally, in terms of fashion advice, you have to understand that seasons change and things come and go. Ship fashion is fickle as the FOTM, and the latest nerf or buff cycle. What's good this patch could be nerfed into oblivion by next - like anything sentry which isn't an Ishtar, it is now horribly passe and so 2013-2014. I mean move on darling.

Regards,

TF

I was fooled. I thought this really was a legit wormhole advisory thread for those that needed help doing WHs, but when I started reading the posts, to my dismay I discovered the true horrific intentions of this thread (I want to keep my sanity).

Can you be so kind sir as to answer my question on how can you avoid getting gank when trying to do C4's in a Paladin?

Yeah, an Ishtar on d-scan looks super pro and will totally scare off anyone looking to gank your Paladin. Please, follow this advice, but if you are super serious about scaring away the bad people you should park the Ishtar on grid with the Paladin rather than in a POS.

Now back on topic - stop inserting poop into this thread you f##king heathens.

I'll just trash this thread and start again since this is now apparently 'create a trash alt and teabag' thread. Congrats.

wait hang on lemme bust out my NPC alt

I always thought this was your 'NPC' alt, we know who you really are, Corbexx.

Dear Dazed and Confused,

Every great religion has its heresies. Disiples of Bob, blood God of Anoikis, are lent to pursuits of various forms of hallucinogenic substances in their quest for revelatory dreams, wherein the God downloads at 800 Baud rate, his latest Viagra spam email into the brain of the supplicant. Success is not guaranteed, and opinions differ as to the most efficacious compound or cocktail of mind-altering chemicals which one must snort/huff/inject/rub on one's generative parts, in order to attain the perfect trance or fug through which to channel His wisdom.

In this case, orob Ninebands has clearly hit upon the thought that his own flatus is possessed of revelatory and atavistic potence; he has bottled his rectal vapors and huffed them inside a Zorb for long enough to damage his brain.

However, in such a chemical lobotomy obviously came some revelations; the key here is to study them to determine whether they are the true Word of Bob, or if they are the charlatan's whispers of some k-space demon or, worse yet, some Thera-dwelling pixie trying to entice the honest hard-ganking souls of Anoikis to that febrile smut hole to fit warp accelerators to their machariels and forever be known as glans-swallowing ingrates.

The only problem with studying orob's revelations is that they are rather TL;DR, so perhaps they are much more likely to be a quabbalah incantation meant to send the reader to sleep. My money's on this.

Regards,

TF

Addressed to the Man Who Holds the New Eden Record for Largest Testicular Payload Ever Delivered Into Orbit:

I have been caught in quite the conundrum as a fellow aficionado of anal annihilation. Recently, the onus has fallen on me to act the Dungeon Master for a Dungeons and Dragons game set in the Spelljammer Setting, also known as "Assholes in Space". I could not help but draw parallels between the money grubbing, kick-down-the-door, dastardly ways of my group, and the infinitely more well-intentioned, though unfortunately similar, conduct of our heroic and exceptionally good-looking group of ne'er-do-wells.

How would I bring the brutal and beautiful barbarity of Bob to life if the party were to, say, be ambushed by a battalion of the cruelest cunts to harry the spaceways, Bob's Own Band of Buxom Babe Bandits?

I eagerly await your response, as one creator of content to another.

Yours in Derriere Devastation, Patooty Pillaging, and Ravinne Ravaging,

Erik