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Sojourn: Void

Author
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#1 - 2015-05-28 05:52:51 UTC  |  Edited by: Aria Jenneth
Entry One: Bunk Space

Oh, this one is going to upset a lot of people. But, half the ones that matter the most are already upset, so ... here goes.

I meant, originally, to start this series of writings off with a tour of the major empires I don't already have any extensive knowledge of, then maybe move on to the outer powers. I knew my "real identity" was "independent capsuleer," but I sort of planned on postponing any exploration of what that meant indefinitely.

... but ... "none of the above" has come calling. I have an identity, and I need to learn how to deal with it.

What's more, I might have worked out a solution to the quasi-mystical psychological riddle my antecedent virtually killed herself trying to puzzle through. Um. More on that later, though.

So: for the purpose of exploring, in depth, my capsuleer identity, I've applied to:

Pyre Falcon Defense Combine. PYRE.

Please calm down. I did think this through.

PYRE is an organization rich with names with at least minor roles in my past, and a couple of major ones. It's effective, efficient, dedicated, and ruthless-- exactly the traits of a successful capsuleer outfit. It's large and strong enough to be significant, but small enough that I won't just disappear into it.

More importantly, it's a collection of misfits, more or less. Exiles and wanderers. The unhomed.

Just. Like. Me.

(Well, not "just." ... my situation's pretty unusual.)

It's also got a generous handful of ex- (or "ex"; we'll see) Sansha. Yes, I know about that. No, it doesn't dissuade me. (Sorry, Vikarion.)

PYRE is both too large and too small a target for a good infiltration effort. If it gets subverted, the event will be difficult to conceal, but won't bring in enough talent to be worth never being able to pull that trick off again.

It's a bad target-- and a good opportunity to observe Nation capsuleers. Which makes it worth the risk, to me.

And, just in case I'm wrong, I'll be bringing along some high-end nanite countermeasures, a medical diagnostics expert unit with attached surgery, a high-end hacker's kit, and an armed electron bomb.

I'm kidding about that last. ... maybe.

Ah ... dear me. Okay. Joking's over.

A person I admire a lot, and who I owe a lot to, has told me that I won't come back from this. The implications are ... well ...

... That what I was afraid would happen is coming to pass. That I'm becoming my old self, walking into the dark a second time. That I've been given a second chance, an opportunity for redemption, and I'm squandering it.

I was afraid of that, it's true. I thought the Black would freeze my soul again, and any hope I represented, any chance to be a better, happier person, would die.

But I think I've found the key to the old Aria's puzzle box, to the "Children of Naught." If I'm right, I'm not only already one of the Demented ... I have been from the start. I've planted the idea enough places that it ought to be carried on, by someone, if something happens to me, but ...

... I need to verify what I think I know. And I can't do that at the far end of a telescope or a holoreel. I need to be there.

It's time to track down the Black, the void spirit that haunted my predecessor, and hold it up to the light for a good, hard look. Wish me luck.
Jev North
Doomheim
#2 - 2015-05-28 10:10:27 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:
A person I admire a lot, and who I owe a lot to, has told me that I won't come back from this.

What rot. You won't come back from it unchanged, to be sure, but what sort of worthwhile effort leaves people unchanged?

Was it that Shutaq fellow? He seems prone to grandiose pronouncements like this.

Even though our love is cruel; even though our stars are crossed.

Aelisha
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#3 - 2015-05-28 10:19:36 UTC
Good luck with your move. PYRE have an undeserved bad reputation in the halls of gossip, and a stellar reputation in their ability to execute precision campaigns while still allowing individuals to hold on to their personal beliefs. They are truly a rare breed of corporation in that regard, and if it were not for the KK history and 24th IC flag, I'd consider them an up and coming independent capsuleer entity in their own right. Who knows, maybe that is where they're headed some day?

I look forwards to hearing about your success with PYRE, and hope to meet you next time business brings PYRE to me or myself to PYRE.

CEO of the Achura-Waschi Exchange

Intaki Reborn

Independent Capsuleer

Kalaratiri
Full Broadside
Deepwater Hooligans
#4 - 2015-05-28 12:01:58 UTC
I'll be watching your time with us with interest.

She's mad but she's magic, there's no lie in her fire.

This is possibly one of the worst threads in the history of these forums.  - CCP Falcon

I don't remember when last time you said something that wasn't either dumb or absurd. - Diana Kim

Sinjin Mokk
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#5 - 2015-05-28 12:13:52 UTC
Best of luck and my God light your way and keep you safe.

For the record, PYRE's "bad reputation in the halls of gossip" is actually well-deserved. But they are exemplary on grid.


I've noticed a pattern in your sojourn so far.

You are attracted to power. From the Amarr Bloc to Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque and now to PYRE. You are drawn to it. It tugs at you like a gravity well.

Yet you are content only to orbit. You always take the place of one on the outside, looking in. As if looking into the hearts of power will allow you insight into your own. The role is almost subservient, but not quite.

You are stronger, more powerful and more deadly than you give yourself credit for. Did you notice the near-invisible tendril of control the Empire so subtly tried to wrap around you? Did you see the fear hidden in their eyes as they told you how wonderful you are?

You never needed the Empire. You sure as hell don't need PYRE.

You are more than capable of grabbing the galaxy by the throat, all on your own. I hope your path leads to this realization.

And for God's sake, kick Ghost Hunter in the shins for me.

"Angels live, they never die, Apart from us, behind the sky. They're fading souls who've turned to ice, So ashen white in paradise."

Jennifer Starfall
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#6 - 2015-05-28 12:19:33 UTC  |  Edited by: Jennifer Starfall
Aria,

I believe in you, suoolo. Not the Aria of old or the Vesper that is not, but the you of the here and now, the synthesis of all that you've experienced and have been. You've been dominated by the Black, and you've fled from it. Now is your time to master it and do with it what you choose. And when your belief falters, take mine to strengthen yours.

Ms. North,

Quite true, we are a continuously changing and evolving sum of our experiences and choices. To remain unchanged is to die, whether in the flesh or in our souls.

Whether you agree or disagree with Mr. Shutaq, he is a good man. His adherence to his faith and belief in the good that the Empire could do is admirable. Any disappointment he may feel in Ariabis from a genuine concern for her soul.

Ms. Montenagre,

I agree completely with you about PYRE. During my time with them, I never felt at risk from the Sansha in their ranks. When Pieter spoke to me about returning to the State's arms, he accepted my refusal with respect. I know he doesn't agree with me, but he respects my choice. I think if people bothered to actually listen to them, they would realize they treat people as individuals in their own right, not as stereotypical incarnations of their factions; something this cluster and the capsuleer community could use more of.

Jennifer Starfall

Fifth Seyllin Conference

Aelisha
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#7 - 2015-05-28 12:20:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Aelisha
Sinjin Mokk wrote:
For the record, PYRE's "bad reputation in the halls of gossip" is actually well-deserved.


We'll have to agree to disagree.

As for the rest, Mr Mokk, I am sure Ms Jenneth is perfectly aware of her capabilities and value as a capsuleer. I find it somewhat patronising that you suggest otherwise, especially when she's joining an organisation that allows its members a great deal of autonomy.

Thanks you, Ms Starfall for your kind words. I hope you are well.

CEO of the Achura-Waschi Exchange

Intaki Reborn

Independent Capsuleer

Jikkarr
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2015-05-28 12:58:49 UTC
Aria,

I look forward to discussing your application with you further and, although I may not agree to such public musings, they have been delivered with an aplomb that betrays the seemingly internal turmoil. Please feel free to contact me should you have any inquiries, I hope I can assist you in finding your way.

In His Nation alone is the Truth.

"Jikkarr,

Your support is welcomed, appreciated. Know that I will deliver us all. In my Nation alone is the Truth."

~Master Sansha Kuvakei

Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#9 - 2015-05-28 13:40:47 UTC
We've been in PYRE Falcon (in leadership positions even!) and the Angels are still Angels, the Serpentis are still Serpentis, the Caldari Patriots are still Patriots, and the Aria Jenneth's shall remain Aria Jenneth.
Desiderya
Blue Canary
Watch This
#10 - 2015-05-28 14:07:02 UTC
I am looking forward to this.

Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise.

Kithrus
Brave Newbies Inc.
Brave Collective
#11 - 2015-05-28 15:44:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Kithrus
I'm starting to wonder if each of the alliances of note are going to get a turn. If that's the case you are going to have the most interesting perspective of capsulleers in history and a heavily booked schedule.

Should I expect a request mail from you soon to see if I can pencile you in?

Either way it would make for an interesting book.

Did you ever consider a career as an anthropologist?

Darkness is more then absence of light, it is ignorance and corruption. I will be the Bulwark from such things that you may live in the light. Pray so my arms do not grow weary and my footing remain sure.

If you are brave, join me in the dark.

Nethys Axion
Anshar Incorporated
#12 - 2015-05-28 15:48:34 UTC
Kithrus wrote:
I'm starting to wonder if each of the alliances of note are going to get a turn. If that's the case you are going to have the most interesting perspective of capsulleers in history and a heavily booked schedule.

Should I expect a request mail from you soon to see if I can pencile you in?

Either way it would make for an interesting book.

Did you ever consider a career as an anthropologist?


That may or may not be the case, but either way PYRE Falcon is a good home, but you're free to expect what you wish.
Kalaratiri
Full Broadside
Deepwater Hooligans
#13 - 2015-05-28 15:49:12 UTC
Sinjin Mokk wrote:

For the record, PYRE's "bad reputation in the halls of gossip" is actually well-deserved.


May I ask what we did?

Not "we" the individuals that you may dislike, but "we" the collective members of PYRE. What has PYRE done that so earns us this place in the "halls of gossip"?

She's mad but she's magic, there's no lie in her fire.

This is possibly one of the worst threads in the history of these forums.  - CCP Falcon

I don't remember when last time you said something that wasn't either dumb or absurd. - Diana Kim

Sinjin Mokk
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#14 - 2015-05-28 16:05:16 UTC
Kalaratiri wrote:
Sinjin Mokk wrote:

For the record, PYRE's "bad reputation in the halls of gossip" is actually well-deserved.


May I ask what we did?

Not "we" the individuals that you may dislike, but "we" the collective members of PYRE. What has PYRE done that so earns us this place in the "halls of gossip"?



Tell you what, let's not clutter Aria's thread. Drop me a line privately and we can discuss it.

"Angels live, they never die, Apart from us, behind the sky. They're fading souls who've turned to ice, So ashen white in paradise."

Vizage
Capital Allied Industrial Distribution
#15 - 2015-05-28 17:16:14 UTC
Best of luck Ms. Jenneth. I've had the rare opportunity to make friends with at least a few employee's of PYRE. It has truly been a great pleasure knowing many of them. You are in good hands.

-K. Amsel
Lyn Farel
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#16 - 2015-05-28 19:34:42 UTC
Sinjin Mokk wrote:

You are attracted to power. From the Amarr Bloc to Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque and now to PYRE. You are drawn to it. It tugs at you like a gravity well.


Huh... SFRIM and power ? Not the first association I would have made...
Aldrith Shutaq
Atash e Sarum Vanguard
#17 - 2015-05-28 19:45:55 UTC  |  Edited by: Aldrith Shutaq
Jev North wrote:
Aria Jenneth wrote:
A person I admire a lot, and who I owe a lot to, has told me that I won't come back from this.

What rot. You won't come back from it unchanged, to be sure, but what sort of worthwhile effort leaves people unchanged?

Was it that Shutaq fellow? He seems prone to grandiose pronouncements like this.


Do not presume to know what I was speaking of, Ms. North. Perhaps she was never really with us to begin with, but I am sure that spending five minutes in fleet with your morally bankrupt whirlwind of living weapons will ensure she will never have the desire to know what it means to be human again, if only because it would mean facing what she has done.

Aria, the reason why I asked you to not draw blood in the name of the Empire was that I wanted you to justify your actions before you committed to them. I did not want to selfishly use your will and power to our own ends without your full knowledge of what you were standing for and consent to use violence to uphold it. I wanted you to take a cause seriously, and to take the lives you would protect and destroy in its defense seriously. To do otherwise would be to harm you; to usurp your will by taking advantage of your ignorance and turn you into exactly what you seemed to want to avoid becoming: a mere weapon.

Things, however, are different now. It seems that you do not have any relevant will to manipulate:

Aria Jenneth wrote:
We live in a pretty brutal universe, and ... the thing is, I don't care. I don't feel any responsibility for humanity's well-being, or for the State, or the Federation, or the Republic ... or the Empire. I don't really care about ideals or principles, either, outside of my own integrity.


You have failed to cultivate a sense of compassion greater than your immediate self-interest. Perhaps you cannot help this. But I was not lying when I told you that you would not come back.

Once you begin killing for no reason greater than a bland 'acceptance' of what you believe your 'nature' to be, you will never again be able to try to redeem yourself without great discomfort to yourself. That discomfort will be guilt as you come to realize that have destroyed more than you have preserved or created. I cannot foresee you enduring this discomfort for the sake of returning to humanity. Like all the rest, including your former self, you will simply ignore humanity's suffering in favor of your own comfort and inflated sense of self built upon worthless ideas of purposeless power.

Goodbye Vesper. I hope you find your peace. And when your shambling corpse twitches forth from the darkness to blindly strike at people I care about, I will be there to stop it.

Aldrith Ter'neth Shutaq Newelle

Fleet Captain of the Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris

Divine Commodore of the 24th Imperial Crusade

Lord Consort of Lady Mitara Newelle, Champion of House Sarum and Holder of Damnidios Para'nashu

Jev North
Doomheim
#18 - 2015-05-28 20:30:48 UTC
"Yes" would have sufficed. But thank you.

Even though our love is cruel; even though our stars are crossed.

Lyn Farel
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#19 - 2015-05-28 20:32:24 UTC
But what would be the difference sir ? You fight for the same result, through the same means, in the same warzone. She will too.

For different reasons ? Who is the less honest between you two ? The one that does not try to justify the unjustifiable ?

Er well... I know we already had that discussion. I am sorry for that, and please forgive my words, but with all due respect, I also know her better than you do.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#20 - 2015-05-28 20:41:36 UTC
Ooooo, are we doing the " I'm fighting for the right reasons, you're not!" thing? That's one of my favorite games!

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

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