Out of Pod Experience

The ant cries beneath the tree
Little Simon stoops to look and see
Much hurt is in the tiny face
Ant explains his fall from grace

- - -

He discovered a bottle inside a house
Saddled upon his trusty woodlouse
With sticky contents down the side
He charged the bottle with his ride

The bottle wobbled and then tipped
Out of the bottle the contents slipped
And spread in to a sticky pool
Both ant and woodlouse began to drool

They scoff themselves a tasty treat
And fill their bellies with something sweet
Then grab a sack and scoop more in
A race for food that they can win

Then homeward bound where they announce
"sticky goodness by the ounce"
The colony grin at his stash
Then to the house they quickly dash

Slurp and guzzle nom and burp
Those greedy ants make much light work
Of half a litres sticky goo
Then take the rest home, eat that too

They cheer for ant who looks quite humble
Then one by one their tummies rumble
"I need to fart" little ant said
"I need to fart or I'll be dead"

Then woodlouse shrieks "I do too"
Then does the most enormous poo.
One by one the ants bend over
And release a trumping stinking odour

They queue and queue and queue all night
For the toilet they must fight
Then afterwards, crawl back to bed
To rest their bottoms and their heads

A week goes by till they recover
The ant inspectorate discover
"It wasn't jam or fizzy pop"
"But laxative to make one plop"

- - -

"So now you know about my plight"
But hear the ant he couldn't quite
So Little Simon knelt to see
And crushed the ant beneath his knee.

"Damn" he said and wiped the stain
Which was a streak of antish brain
"These were made by Calvin Klein
And cost me £30.99"

War is life,
Death is peace.
Hippies seek strife,
War-mongers seek relief.