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Wave of doomsayers appears on Republic planets

Author
Constantly Outraged Sebiestor
Gutter Press
#1 - 2015-04-26 09:00:50 UTC
Gutter Press has been informed that on a number of planets in the Republic, mostly in Metropolis region, there have appeared a wave of doomsayers.

The doomsayers are reported as being all Minmatar, though the Tribes to which they belong is unclear, with some witnesses saying the doomsayers appeared to have removed their tribal tattoos, and were covered in scars, making their Tribal affiliation unclear or impossible to make out.

The message the doomsayers are speaking is reportedly that the Elders are all dead, the rescued Starkmanir also, and that the Shakor government is trying to cover this up.

The cause of death of the Elders and Starkmanir is supposedly related to the appearance of the Thera system, and some of the anomalies therein, such as the wreck of a Thukker Caravan capital ship.

Gutter Press sent an investigator, to find out what the word on the streets was.

"The Elders and the Thukkers were building a new Matar, in Thera, the Sisters of Eve were helping them. Now it's all blown up, and they're all dead. We're doomed. Doomed. Doooooooooomed!", said one wailing individual, with the build of a Sebiestor.

"Balderdash", said a tall Brutor. "The Elders sanctuary isn't in Thera, it's somewhere else. I don't know where, but I do know it's not Thera. That wouldn't make any sense."

"Shakor knows the truth, and he's keeping it from us. We have a right to know!", said a disgruntled Vherokior exotic dancer.

"I give up. I've had it with civilisation. I'm going into the jungle to eat berries and wear animal skins", said an unhappy Sebiestor motorcycle hooligan, sitting astride a large motorcycle.
"Don't be daft, there's no jungles round here. And no animals with skins big enough to wear. You'd catch your death of cold", said his mother, in the sidecar with her groceries.

A request for comment to a RSS agent known to Gutter Press, was met only with silence.

Gutter Press. You read it here first.
Wendrika Hydreiga
#2 - 2015-04-26 11:21:47 UTC
Oh no! Doomy dooms of doom! That's terribad!
Frenjo Borkstar
Doomheim
#3 - 2015-04-26 11:38:01 UTC
We know very well that the Matyrhan Lakat'Hro or however you say and spell it, was pulled through a wormhole into Thera during the first Seyllin incident, there isn't an "Elder Sanctuary" or whatever in Thera. Nonsense.

Viriel,

Borkstar Laboratories,

The Borkstar Initiative.

Evi Polevhia
Phoenix Naval Operations
Phoenix Naval Systems
#4 - 2015-04-26 12:53:26 UTC
Surely, you can't be - Oh wait wrong person.
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#5 - 2015-04-26 13:21:47 UTC
The night is far spent, the day is at hand:
The Scriptures, Book II, Apocalypse 32:6 wrote:
At the end of days when they descend
Watch for the coming of the Ark
For within it, salvation is carried


Of course, none of these filthy Minmatar subhuman doomsayers will be on the Ark, but from the Ark, I and the rest of the Chosen will delight in watching all Minmatar burn.
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#6 - 2015-04-26 14:58:01 UTC
Nauplius wrote:
The night is far spent, the day is at hand:
The Scriptures, Book II, Apocalypse 32:6 wrote:
At the end of days when they descend
Watch for the coming of the Ark
For within it, salvation is carried


Of course, none of these filthy Minmatar subhuman doomsayers will be on the Ark, but from the Ark, I and the rest of the Chosen will delight in watching all Minmatar burn.

"And furthermore: bwahahaha."
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2015-04-26 19:04:34 UTC
Drop a piece of turd on somebody's head from a dropship every time you pass a population centre and eventually it might just hit a guy who will immediately scream about how the turd splattered on his head is a portent to doomsday.

Some things just do not change.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Jade Blackwind
#8 - 2015-04-26 19:16:45 UTC
Everything will be okay, we will all die.

Lol
Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#9 - 2015-04-27 02:04:37 UTC
Jade Blackwind wrote:
Everything will be okay, we will all die.

Lol

Oddly, this may be the optimal outcome.....

I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.

Gilan Isana
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#10 - 2015-04-27 15:59:10 UTC
and with the appearance of Terra, came the appearance of seekers and drifters.

If they are dead, my bet is the drifters had something to do with it. The war has started, cut off the head and killing the body becomes easy.

Minmatar first, who will be second in the cluster to burn?
Evi Polevhia
Phoenix Naval Operations
Phoenix Naval Systems
#11 - 2015-04-27 15:59:47 UTC
Who is terra?
Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#12 - 2015-04-27 16:01:33 UTC
Evi Polevhia wrote:
Who is terra?

I knew a girl named Terra, she had some great..... uh, assets....

I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.