Crime & Punishment

Allow me to set the scene for you; close to a dozen men sit in a secure mumble room, their faces shadowed and masked by vapor emanating from the E-Cigs resting in their hands. A silence hangs over the room, heavier than the Strawberry E-Cig vapor clinging to the air like so much morning fog. A commanding voice cuts through the morass like a Hanzo Steel Katana; "So, what do we do about the Wormhole Space situation?" The voice is immediately recognizeable as the leader of the group, 'M', and he leans forward into the light as if to lend a face to the voice. All eyes are now on the finely-goateed countenance that has asked them for a solution to the problem that they have been wrestling with. Goons have been attempting to gain a foothold in Wormhole space for over a year, but it is the one area of space that has refused to bow down to Goon hegemony. Time after time, Goon Wormhole Groups have established themselves only to be evicted; to M, this is more than an annoyance to a minor Goon SIG; this is a brazen challenge to the very concept of Goon Supremacy in EVE. Further silence and nervous looks ensue; a few directors take drags from their E-Cigs as they stare into their laps. A lone voice again breaks the silence, but this time belonging to a minor Goonwaffe member of no fame. "W-what if we started a pubbie Wormhole corp?", he stammers. The directors around the table scoff and give eachother humored looks, but M's gaze does not waver as he leans back and steeples his fingers; "go on" he says.


The plan was hatched; Goons would fight the wormholers by stemming their lifeblood, their recruits. They would do this by siphoning them off and eventually scamming them, making wormholes appear unappealing to the average risk-averse potential Holebear. M knew that someone recognized as a "filthy goon blobber F1 Monkey" would not be able to succesfully recruit players and navigate the harsh waters of Wormhole diplomacy. To this end, a sub-plot was hatched; I would take the fall for a fake Ponzi Scheme, where I would claim to have stolen 212b isk from CFC members and fled in disgrace. This brought me great infamy among the Goonfolk, and fame among the pubbies; clearly the maneuver had succeeded. Players flocked to the Future Members banner; inactive corp members were regularly purged and their assets appropriated, and gradually the corp grew fat. Eventually came the time to harvest what had been planted; roles were stripped and POS passwords changed on Easter morning, which has been deemed an auspicious day of action by Goon Augurs.


The rest happened very quickly. Hundreds of ships were consolidated into 1 POS and then hauled out to various highsec and lowsec stations. While this was happening, some of the more enterprising former corp members of FUMED contacted the "Low-Class" Wormhole alliance, who agreed to siege the remaining FUMED POS on a pro-bono basis. Unfortunately they arrived too late; the remaining ships were snuck out under the cover of Right After Downtime, and all that remained was 2 Billion Isk worth of various frigate & destroyer hulls, which were not bothered with. Low-Class was not aware of the extent of this plan, and assumed my actions to be that of a lone madman. This allowed Goons to set a trap, the location & time of which were conveniently dictated by the FUMED POS reinforcement timer. When their POS-bashing fleet came back to finish the job, they were sent packing to the four corners of Anoikis.



Video of the final fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl2w_EHt3ug&feature=youtu.be


Appraisal of the loot moved out to K-Space: http://evepraisal.com/e/5583899


A forum thread made after the POS was reinforced: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=417609

Well this seems pretty open and shut to me. It was a Nitshe Alt

Obviously.

Nitshe, your game is up.

Grr goon time

My definition of "riveting" seems to be a bit different from yours.

It`s a nice try to place the heist in the grand scheme of things. However if this really was the plan from the outset, it may be considered a complete and utter failure. I'm afraid you did not "fight the wormholers by stemming their lifeblood, their recruits [...] by siphoning them off and eventually scamming them, making wormholes appear unappealing to the average risk-averse potential Holebear."

If I understand the comments correctly, your former members are still living in wormholes. They are now wiser, battle hardened and mostly part of a better wormhole corp. Instead of stemming the lifeblood of your nemesis you trained a new set of wormholers waiting to get back to you and your supposed overlords.

So you claim that instead of a most succesful heist you accomplished the opposite of what you set out to do?

This wasn't an ad for E-Cigs? I mean they were mentioned like what, 50 times.

"So I activated the Afterburner on my E-Cig and burned directly for my foe. It was a rail fitted E-Cig, clearly not a threat. As I puffed on my E-Cig waiting for my targeting computer to lock, I pondered why such a poorly fitted E-Cig would enter E-Cig Space without so much as a hello. His E-Cig dampers were slowing my ability to lock onto his E-Cig"

and I am just too tired to continue making things up.

E-Cig